Phil was made to stand up and was immediately handcuffed and led to the front desk where the duty sergeant read out the full charges yet again and Phil was led to a cell.
The door slammed on the cell and Phil looked around at the walls, he found himself wondering who had been in the cell previously strangely enough, his ordeal just didn't seem real at the moment and his position had not sunk in.
A tap at the door brought a friendly face, it was his old mate from boarding school Anthony Sandhurst, he was Phil's lawyer,
"hell Anthony" said Phil in a matter of fact voice
"Bad news sure travels bloody fast around these parts" Phil quipped,
Anthony smiled and shook Phil's hand briskly as he sat beside him on the cell bed,
"You have a damned good wife who knows how to use a telephone more like Phil" was his reply,
"Look old chap" he continued "you are in a bit of a fix here as far as i can see and i would like to help you get out of this damned place if possible"
"Well, i have to admit The Ritz it isn't" said Phil jokingly trying to stay positive
"Well this is nothing to joke about Phil, the Police have some pretty damning evidence and they intend to take this all the way trust me, they are not looking for anyone else at the moment"
"That's crazy !" Phil screamed,
"Bloody crazy, I wouldn't kill my mother in a million years i would die first, someone has set me up, what about that body upstairs in the wardrobe?, what the hell is going on here?"
"Look Phil, I know there are a lot of questions to answer but leave it to me i will make a few enquiries in certain places and see if i can find out just what is going on, meantime you behave yourself and don't let this situation get to you if you can help it, I will get you out of here"
"Well for my sake Anthony I hope you bloody do," said Phil in a voice now resigned to his plight
"because i can't stay locked up, it will drive me bloody crazy!"
"Ok Phil, look leave it with me for a day or two and i will get back to you, chin up old chap"
And with that Anthony left the cell, Phil lay across the bed and put his arms up behind his head and stared at the ceiling..
It was 7 a.m the next morning when Phil's cell door opened, it was DI Selby,
"Sleep well Carnaby?" he sneered.
"As well as can be expected and its Mr Carnaby to you Selby" Phil said in a straight Yorkshire droll,
"Aye well be that as it may we are taking you to the local magistrates court for a hearing whereupon your case will be sent for trial at the Crown court so get your breakfast and get on with it we are off at 8 a.m."
Phil was dressed and ate cereal for his breakfast, at 8 the door opened and he was led to a waiting van still in handcuffs. Two officers flanked him as he walked towards the van at the back of the Police Station, he was ushered into it and it sped off in to the town towards the magistrates court.
It was a very short hearing, Phil acknowledged his name to the magistrate and he was remanded in custody until a Crown court trial could take place. The words rang around Phil's ears, he could scarcely believe what he was hearing. As he was led outside the court there was a huge bang to his right, he looked around and a car had mounted the pavement and crashed through a shop window, there were screams and shouting everywhere, the car was still revving hard and the driver was slumped over the wheel. The two officers escorting Phil, sat him on the step of the courts still handcuffed and said,
"wait here we have to sort this out" they moved his handcuffs on to the hand rail of the steps so he wasn't going anywhere fast.
Phil watched as the commotion went on and on, he stood up as his knees were hurting and as he did he noticed that although he was handcuffed to the hand-rail the officers in their rush had not handcuffed him past the wall mounting....Phil just had to slide his arms to the end of the rail and he was free!.
In an impulse born from frustration and the need for answers Phil slid the cuffs down the rail and was off like a shot, the two Pc's were still attending the wounded and taking details so they never gave Phil another thought. Phil was running through the streets of his home town in handcuffs, he needed to get them off and damned quick, this was Phil's patch, he knew everyone and he knew who he could and couldn't trust.
Darting in to the local garage workshops he made a b-line for the office of Andy Carter, Andy owned the garage and Phil had known him for years.
"Andy!" Phil blurted out as he went in to the office
"Phil ! how are you mate?" said Andy, " you look like you have run 20 miles in to town, has the Land Rover broken down?"
"Andy i need your help, you can tell me to piss off if you like but i need you to do something for me"
"Christ Phil you have bloody handcuffs on! I never knew you and Jan were in to that hahahaha"
"For fucks sake Andy this is for real, the Police found mum dead and the bastards think i did it, i have just escaped from the County Court! ..i need you to cut these handcuffs of me"
Andy looked stunned "are you for real Phil?.. is this some kind of a joke?"
"It is a bloody joke!" Phil snorted " and i am in the middle of it, can you help me Andy ....Please!"
Andy looked at his old mate and immediately guided him round the back of the workshops,
"Look Phil, I don't know whats going on but one thing I do know and that is you are not a bloody murderer, that DC Selby is a total idiot and will just go for the easy collar, I hate the guy he is always hassling us about DVLA stuff, so I will do all i can to help you, wait here a moment.
Phil sat in the back room of the garage for about half an hour, he could hear Police sirens going off all over town, he knew there would be Police everywhere looking for him. Andy came back in with a grinder, he put a coat over Phil's head to save him being hit by the sparks and cut Phil free.
"Andy, I owe you big time" Phil said as he shook his arms like only a freed man could,
"You owe me nothing Phil, just get yourself out of this mess and pronto, look, here is £500 in notes and there is a silver Mazda outback we just took as a part exchange a few hours ago, DVLA will still have it registered to the owners for a day or two and we will put it on our traders insurance on-line, this will buy you some time, if you are caught though mate i shall have to say you stole it OK?."
"Andy if you weren't so bloody ugly i would kiss you" Phil replied smiling for the first time in days.
"Very funny!.." Andy replied, "now go find the bastards that killed your mum"
"You can bet on it" Phil replied and with that he was gone.
Phil drove out of town unnoticed as the Police were out in force, they were everywhere, but Phil just kept his cool and headed out on to the common, he intended to head for home the back way so that the Police would not know he was there.
Across the common there were several old barns, Phil knew this area so very well, he headed for the old barn at Crossings Gate where there was easy access off the road and less chance of leaving tracks. He opened the doors of the barn and hid the car inside. No one ever used the barn it was too old and too small for modern farming so was left derelict, it was however only half a mile from Phil's home.
Phil sat in the car for a few moments, trying to figure out his next move when in the distance he heard a low hum, he had heard that noise many times and never given it a moments thought, but now it meant something very different to him, it was the hum of a helicopter!.. Phil took a sharp breath and jumped out of the car, he climbed the old ladder to the top of the barn and looked out of the old opening where the hay was fed through so many years ago, he could see the helicopters bright lights hovering all around the farm house where he lived, he could hear dogs barking and voices in the far off distance carried by the wind.
Phil was at a loss, he knew the Police would come searching through every barn and building in the area, he pondered for a moment, quick as a flash he got in the car and drove it further into the barn, he covered it in hay and trampled all the tracks the car had left outside and in, he threw fresh hay all over the tracks in the barn and then lay in the corner and covered himself in hay, it was the best he could do.
Hours went by, then Phil heard voices, they were outside the barn, Phil's heart was racing like an Express train at full speed, at that moment Phil heard the barn door open and saw the flicks of light from a flashlight scouring the whole barn,
"Christ this is a right old shit hole" he heard a voice say, "It's a wonder some Southerner hasn't snapped this up and built a house here" he said in a sarcastic tone while both of them laughed at his comment and with that he heard the door slam.
Phil let out a huge sigh of relief, at least for the moment he was safe.
News of Phil's escape had reached Jan at the farm and was on the local radio and even made National news, his picture was circulated everywhere and he was certainly the talk of the town.
Phil knew if he was to make good his escape he must get to the farm house, so the following evening cold and very hungry Phil took the risk and headed out across country in a bid to get to the farm house.
Following the hedgerows and keeping low and as out of sight as possible Phil crawled and crept painfully slowly towards the home he had known all his life, it seemed so strange that he was scurrying about outside in the cold and damp when his normal place was by the warm open fire in the farm house, instead of a welcome sight it was almost like a fortress that Phil knew he had to get in to.
Phil made it to the back barn where all the cattle were lying down chewing their cud and bedded down for the night. Phil knew if he disturbed the cattle in any way they would make a hell of a racket so he had to crawl on his belly through all the mud and muck where the tractors usually drove, not only was he cold and hungry but now he also smelled awful with it, but Phil couldn't risk stirring the cattle up.
Getting to the huge barn door Phil peered underneath it, he looked all round the open farm yard, the tractor was just where he had left it days ago and his beloved Land Rover too, but next to his Land Rover was a car he didn't recognise, it was a very posh silver Audi, it seemed very much out of place in such a messy farm yard, but Phil automatically thought, "Selby...the bastard".
Sliding on his belly across the dark of the farm yard Phil reached the outside wall of the farmhouse, it was part of the walkway to the front door with plastic sheeted roof to let the light in, Phil scaled the wall and clambered on to the roof of the lower gable end of the old house, he trod carefully as the tiles were all moss and dirt that had built up over many years, Phil looked down as he was climbing and almost chuckled to himself as he saw the roof trough was full of moss "must get that cleaned out" he whispered to himself, Phil reached his goal, the old store room window just below the loft, he knew it would be on one catch as it always was, he slid his finger under the catch and slowly opened the window and slid like a snake into the empty cold room with scarcely a noise. Phil removed his shoes and stood up and closed the window to where it was before, he sat down for a moment or two and then took his now stinking jacket and trousers off and looked through a few draws to see if he could find something to wear, the farm house was huge and he knew as he was at the far end of the living room he would not be heard, but he did not want to take any chances, he found an old duffel coat and a pair of jeans that had seen better days but they were still welcome, Phil felt warmer almost immediately.
Opening the door quietly, Phil slid on his belly across the landing, very quietly edging his way to the top of the huge staircase, he could hear muffled voices downstairs and it was all he could do to stop himself from just getting up and running to confront that bloody Selby for putting him through all this but he knew that would be instant arrest and imprisonment and Phil needed answers and to get those he needed his freedom.
As he lay there the voices got louder and the conversation became more heated, Phil was bursting to go and protect Jan from whatever Selby was saying and the urge to confront him was becoming unbearable, but just at that point the lounge door opened and out walked Anthony Sandhurst, Phil's old school chum and lawyer, Phil edged himself a little further across the landing so that he could hear what was being said,
"I told you to do something with that bloody kid a million times!, now look at the fucking mess we have on our hands darling"
Phil overheard this and thought who the bloody hell is he talking to? who is he calling darling?
Just then Jan appeared holding a glass of wine,
"Oh for Christ's sake grow a pair Anthony, the Police have laid the blame square on hubby and he has even escaped, it couldn't be more perfect"
"I am glad you are so bloody calm about it Jan, what about the inevitable DNA test on the body of our child? it will lead them straight to you!"
"So what?..I can blame hubby again for taking her away from me because of her disabilities and murdering her in that spare room, then killing his mother when she threatened to tell the Police, God Anthony have you no bloody imagination?"
"You are a bloody bitch Jan, I am glad you are on my side" Anthony said with a grin,
Phil was rooted to the spot, tears started to roll down his face as he started to shake, he could not believe what he was hearing...he struggled to keep quiet as he listened,
"Look honey" said Jan, we couldn't keep a severely disabled kid with Phil's mum any longer, at some point Phil's mum would have said something to Phil and the bloody shit would have hit the fan, it was our bloody child and that story i spun his mother about Phil not wanting anything to do with it because of its deformity was never going to last forever, putting her out of her misery was the best for all but i really should have moved he out of that spare bloody room, but oh no farmer bloody Phil has to go and poke his nose in, well at least he is out of the damned picture for good now, as soon as the Police catch up with him he will be doing serious time".
"But why did you have to go and kill Phil's mum for God's sake, you only went to speak to her darling"
"She was going to have a go at Phil and say it was wrong that he didn't want anything to do with a deformed child, I couldn't let that happen, anyway darling, this way we get the farmhouse, hubby locked away and a large chunk of money as well as mother in laws inheritance once her house is sold, in my books that is not a bad day's work eh?.
Phil was lay there listening, scarcely believing what he was hearing, his face now buried in the landing carpet as the conversation went on,
"Look Anthony, like it or not, we are in this together, you didn't mind slipping into my bedroom when Phil was out and fucking my brains out so now you take some of the heat, if we stick to our stories we are home and dry and in the clear, Barbara was a dead woman the minute she said she would care for Elouise and we knew it was all only temporary, look honey we have it all to live for now, all we have to do is keep our heads..
Phil had heard enough, he stood up,
"Oh aye, is that what you reckon you bloody bitch !"
Jan screamed and put her hands to her face as she backed against the wall, Anthony spun around to see Phil rushing down the stairway towards him,
"You are a dead man walking Mr bloody clever lawyer" Phil spat,
"That would be a fine trick from a jailbird on the run for murder, call the Police Jan" Anthony said in a cool low voice,
"oh aye... call the bloody Police, it will be interesting to hear what you two have to say when they get here" Phil snarled,
"Oh contraire" Anthony said smugly, you won't be here to greet them, in fact you won't be seeing anyone in a hurry Philip.." Anthony pointed at Jan, Phil spun around and Jan had the twelve bore shotgun pointed at Phil's head,
"You bloody heartless cow" Phil snarled,
"Me?... heartless?, that's rich from you, all those bloody nights i went to bed alone, while you tended to bloody animals!, all i yearned for was our own child and you couldn't even give me that, no wonder i leapt into Anthony's bed, you selfish bastard you, it was just our luck i had a disabled kid or we would have left you years ago you bloody impotent selfish bastard".
Phil fell to his knees, he couldn't take all this in, here was the wife he loved for so long stood there with a shotgun ready to take his life, he thought they had been the perfect couple yet all the time such deceit was going on in his own home.
"You couldn't even get locked up properly!, oh no you had to fucking escape and be the hero, well it's got you right where we want you, the Police will believe there was a struggle as i told you to turn yourself in and the gun just went off, that's your trouble Phil, always wrong place wrong bloody time!"
"For God's sake Jan we can't kill him in cold blood, not here," Anthony said in an alarmed manner,
"Just shut the fuck up Anthony, I can't chance anything, you men are all the bloody same, weak!"
"You are crazy Jan, let's just make a run for it, tie him up and let's go, we can be on a plane tonight while he is tied up in the barn, they won't find him for days"
"No way, he is a dead man tonight, I have had my fill of bloody farmer Phil, I have suffered enough!"
With that Jan walked across the hall way towards Phil and put both barrels against Phil's head,
"You were born a bloody loser and you will die a bloody loser!" she shouted as she pulled both triggers.
"click,click" went the gun.... then complete silence.
"looking for these Ma'am ?" A voice said from behind where Jan was stood,
There in the doorway of the old kitchen was DI Selby, tossing two twelve bore cartridges in his hand while leaning against the doorpost,
"w-w-hat..? h-h-how? Jan bleated, " Oh you are not quite as clever as you think sweetheart, you see Barbara kept some rather excellent diaries.... quite enlightening I am sure where you two are going you will have plenty of time to read up on them !"
"Arrest these two for double murder and attempted murder officers and get them the hell out of my sight"
With that the room filled with Police and Jan and Anthony were led to the waiting Police van that had just drawn up outside.
"H-how did you manage to empty the gun? " Phil stuttered while being helped to his feet by a constable,
"I took them out and hid the boxes of cartridges when we searched the house the first time Philip, I also took the liberty of putting two empty shells down the barrels to look as if it was loaded, i couldn't risk you getting your hands on a loaded gun and anyway i was not happy with how your wife looked and spoke to your so called bloody lawyer when we first entered the house, call it a bit of old fashioned Police work"
"Well whatever you call it I am bloody glad you did it"
"Oh we were watching from outside the whole time, we knew you would end up back here, it was just a question of time, though some of the guys are not too happy about spending so long in a shit covered barn".
"You mean..?"
"Of course, we watched you climb the roof, we had our suspicions and we thought adding you into the equation would save us hours of man power questioning people across the interview table, this way we got a confession from both and two collars, quite a good night's work!"
"She could have blown my bloody brains out!" Phil scowled,
"There were no cartridges in the house Phil, relax"
Phil walked to an old wooden box under the coat stand and lifted the lid, he took out a box and tossed it to DC Selby,
"Is that right?" Phil scowled
Selby looked down at the boxful of cartridges in his hands,
"well, even the best plans have the odd flaw!"
With that both men burst into laughter and walked across the room to each other and hugged as they patted each other on the back,
"Welcome home Phil," said Selby
"Aye thanks Detective, now then, how about we put the kettle on I am bloody dying for a cuppa and you can tell me just how the hell you managed to be in the right place at the right bloody time for once!"
"It's Detective Inspector Selby to you Carnaby!"
Both men laughed out loud,
"Aye that's as maybe" chirped Phil,
"One sugar or two " he winked.
