The Presentation.

I have been lucky enough to have had a very varied career, everything from a farm lad to a Calor Gas cooker and heater service engineer through to a truck driver and then a service and export manager for a machinery manufacturer. It was my exploits of the latter as you can imagine that made me smile on more than one occasion.
One such occasion saw me fly over to Schipol airport and then jump on to a hovercraft across to Malmo for a trip to a Swedish dealer who was very well known and did an excellent job for us with the quantity of machines they sold. I should have had the alarm bells ringing when half way across to Malmo as we sped along in the noisiest hovercraft ever, the venerable machine suddenly came to a halt, yes a halt.
Now, of course hovercrafts do actually float on water even with their skirts deflated, but I for one was not too keen to test that theory at that exact time. As the engines died down to a tick over there was the sound of footsteps from above as the "pilot" came nonchalantly whistling down the steps from his cabin, opened up the big front door and give it a huge "slam". With that he turned around, smiled at us all and still whistling jogged up the stairs and within minutes we were on our way, obviously now with the hovercraft door well and truly shut!.
On arrival at Malmo we were met by a very nice tall slender gent who picked us up in what was then the very latest Land Rover Discovery and off we went. We drove for about 40 odd miles through Sweden and I remember it was a rather beautiful place, very clean, neat but also very very cold, more of which later.
On arrival at the dealership we were greeted by the company's MD who was also a very tall elegant man who spoke wonderful English, I was very impressed with the whole outfit, everything was so wonderfully ergomatic in it's layout, the welcome was second to none we had ever had before and myself and the MD who accompanied me on this trip were made to feel very welcome.
The idea of the visit was for me to present a slide show to the area managers working for the company throughout Sweden, a task I admit i was relishing. We sat around a huge of table on which stood a stainless steel flask with a plethora of small stainless steel "over sized" thimbles or similar even to small egg cups.

I stood up and immediately fired in to my sales pitch, I was very young but i knew the machinery very well, having spent 3 months with our manufacturers building the equipment on the shop floor to give me a better idea of how it all worked. I answered a plethora of questions and soon it was made clear to me that i was to do a live demonstration of the machines after each explanation, something I had done many many times before, so no problem. Well, actually there was a little bit of a problem, you see in Sweden before you step outside into what turned out to be -17 degrees you have a little tipple which came courtesy of the flask set in the middle of the table. So, before we headed outside we were all handed this stainless thimble like container and all said "Schol" and tipped it straight back.   Perhaps I should explain right here and now that at 24 I wasn't a drinker or a smoker in fact i was a very good boy, but all the same I drank it and off we walked outside.
The cold chill air took my poor Anglo Saxon breath away, I was frozen and had to demonstrate a machine to the waiting crowd. Of course being the professional I was I carried out my task without question and we were soon once again climbing the stairs to the huge sales area where we were presenting the equipment.
This all went on for an hour or so as we had quite a range of machinery, but after each presentation we again drank from the stainless flask....
Now, I sense you are ahead of me a little here, we were getting towards the end of the presentation and after yet another sip from the cup "schol"  we were heading back out into the freezing temperatures. This steady mixture of warm buildings quickly followed by -17 degrees outside demonstrating equipment had started to take its toll, i was in effect becoming slightly "tiddly" much to my hosts amusement. I had a permanent stupid grin that i couldn't get rid off, I started cracking one liners that would empty a graveyard and even worse my MD was stood frowning in the back ground.
 By the time the presentation had ended I had warmed the room up to almost fever pitch and had the whole Swedish sales team rolling around the room in fits of laughter, most humor of which was aimed squarely at the machinery we were actually trying to sell!.
The end of the session arrived with yet another sip from the cup and all i can remember then was how warm it felt going all the way down, it was some very good stuff !.
We were thanked very warmly for our presentation and were soon on our way back to our hotel, we dined that night with the MD and he was as courteous as ever, despite me being obviously worse for wear after the days proceedings. Soon the evening was over and we caught the last ferry back to the "Magnus Steinbock" hotel in Amsterdam, feeling very weary and also because of the delicacy of Swedish food to our English palates also very very hungry.
We dumped our bags in the hotel and walked out on to the harbour streets of Copenhagen in search of some food, both of us by now quite desperate for some good old fashioned home cooking. Then before our very eyes on the high st by the harbour there it was, like an oasis in a dust filled desert, "The Hereford Steak Bar".
I can tell you we went in and filled our boots to the hilt whilst sat on authentic old oak benches and gorging on the most succulent sirloin steak i had ever tasted and even home made chips!.. heaven.

 On arrival back into the UK myself and the MD said our goodbyes and said we would meet first thing in the MD's office to discuss the visit. I have to admit I was not looking forward to listening to the report as getting potential customers to laugh along with you whilst describing the company's pride and joy isn't exactly what my MD had in mind when he initially sent me the job description, I did however think it had gone reasonably well despite the unorthodox nature of the presentation.
I walked into the offices on the Tuesday and was greeted with a few smirks from the commercial manager, he was always trying to score points so my guess was i was in for a bit of an ear roasting. Two of the UK area mangers for the company were there too and they were pretending to lie flat out across the desk in a drunk like manner. Just at the moment where i was starting to regret even turning up that morning the MD's door flung wide open and the gaffer was stood there with a cigar in his mouth and a big smile across his face, "how is my star salesman today? is your head better?" he shouted,
"errrr... well actually no" i quipped back
"It's damned sore".
"Well" said the MD "it's going to be even worse by the time we finish celebrating!"
and with that he gave me the fax document he had been holding and said
 "read!"
I glanced down and there was this lovely "thank you" paragraph from the Swedish company we visited, followed by a long list of our machines and a figure at the very bottom of the paper... £30,000 ... an awfully big order in 1990
It seems our presentation had done the trick after all. I was promoted from zero to hero in seconds.

But... to this day I still do NOT know what I was drinking. It did however do the trick!.

Don't put off until tomorrow...

The first real warm day for as long as I care to remember, that I even care to mention it underlines how long the winter has actually lasted in the UK. It's been a long haul and the inclement climate has only added to the woes of a faltering economy and bad news days every other day. One thing has changed this week for me however, after having listened intently to a radio programme describing the moments experienced by terminal cancer sufferers on their initial diagnosis i have had the comments and thoughts of those involved buzzing around my head ever since.
What if?, what if I was put in that position and was given months or even weeks to live?. The initial reaction would be to do everything that you had hoped to do and create a list so that you could mark them off one by one. That would be human nature, we take everything for granted until it is taken away or threatened, then we go into hyper-space to try and fit as much of what we will be missing in in half the time.
But the question that really made me sit down and think, well not so much a question more a statement came from a breast cancer sufferer who was diagnosed terminally a couple of years ago and is literally a ticking bomb, she said "why do we have to wait until we are diagnosed with a terminal illness before we actually start to live life".... and to be honest I cannot get that thought out of my head.
 What if our very next action after getting up from reading this is to actually start into motion some of the things we really do want to do? What is stopping us? duty?.. finance?... family? or just a feeling that you have years yet so you have loads of time to fit all those things in?.
Well I for one look at life a little differently after that programme, not a little unconnected to the sheer weight of work i have been getting through of late that has caused me physical and mental stress that cannot continue at it's current pace as it is making me ill.
I guess I am saying  to you all don't take life for granted  Never was "seize the day" more apt than in this maelstrom and cacophony of crazy working hours and on-time pressure that modern life spoon feeds us with continuously, it is time that all of us stepped back and gave ourselves time to live a little. I for one intend to start doing so and today with this wonderful warm sunshine it seems one hell of a good day to start.

Free yourself.

Focusing on what is wrong with everything can leave you blinkered. Open your eyes to what you have and make better use of it, negative thoughts and actions will only make your life tougher and that of those around you, who will tire of your poor outlook, when it is the darkest it can get, light the way with the warmth of your smile and the light of your soul and you will find your way, no-one is ever lost completely, there is a way forward but only you and you alone can make that very first step.

A Seasoned Tale.

That I should walk that distant path
Through scented forests one more time
And hear the Nightingales laugh
Their song of Spring the perfect rhyme.

Be soaked in sunlit heaven's rays,
And thankful just for my existence
On such extraordinary day's
..Even I could last the distance.

Yet only fools dare seek perfection
Reality the dawn of reason
The land of Poets seeks protection
From inspiration's strangled treason

I cannot lie with those that taunt
Provide me now a world unreal
The likes of which forever haunts
The way i live, the way I feel

Bring sword unto my slumbered chamber
Fear not the deed that i request
For I shall only see my freedom
When sword is plunged deep in my chest

Don't weep a single tear in sorrow
As life just gently floats away
For truth is any new tomorrow
Will bring more promise than today.
 

Homecoming.

The room was dimly lit, a slither of late evening light drawn in by the setting sun lit the far wall of the room in a vertical line on the wall, slowly but surely the line got shorter and shorter as the sun slowly lowered it's head, a distant hum from a mixture of voices and trolleys could be heard in the background, the clatter of old central heating pipes shuddering under their boiling hot load seemed almost calming.  The room had a single bed in it, tucked up against the wall without the light, yet a warm glow came from the bed area as a small table top light gave of it's best. The bed was surrounded by wires, tubes, monitoring devices and all manner of paraphernalia congregated around the single person lay motionless under the bed clothes.

Andy lay still. He listened to the noises in the corridor, the central heating pipes,the creaking and groaning, he tried to make out some of the more muffled voices and what they were saying in the corridor, then he would drift off and forget where he was, but deep inside, a cry for help was continually going unanswered, the cries of the human spirit were being cut down like a Lioness strikes her prey to ensure her survival and that of her cubs, it ate at his very flesh and slowly day by day he was losing the warmth from within his bones to this ferocious unrelenting disease, it paid no heed to creed or colour, it simply moved onwards like an army the size of which we could never imagine, like that of a giant's foot that would quell those that dare disturb his vengeful path.  Andy grew weak, his eyes reddened and his face a pale shadow of what was once the glow of youth and all it had to offer. The cancer within Andy was winning. The faceless beast that plays chemical warfare on our bodies had taken hold of Andy and was systematically shutting him down, like a favourite timepiece now forgotten  that slows then eventually stops.
The tick tock of Andy's final hours had begun, he grew weaker and weaker from the drugs that had actually tried to save him, one last bitter irony of this uncaring dragon of a disease. The door to the room slowly clicked and opened, Andy moved just his eyes, he hadn't the energy to move his head . There in front of him stood his wife Sarah and as the door opened wider two little faces could just be made out peering around the corner of Sarah's dress, it was Andy's two daughters Jazzy and Mia, their bright wide eyed smiles in contrast to the pale slowly poisoned body that Andy inhabited, despite this a smile drew across Andy's face as the two little girls' ran towards him and as kid's always do jumped on the bed and kissed and hugged their Dad, Andy winced from the immediate pain he felt from their not so soft landing on his poor broken body, but he didn't let it show.
"Daddy!" came the shout from them both,  they began to talk about what their day had entailed, about what Gran had bought them and how great their new Lego video game was.. but through all this Andy had noticed his beloved wife of 12 years Sarah talking to a Doctor to the one side of the room as the children continued their recital of the day's proceedings, the Doctor was slowly shaking his head and looking to his feet, Sarah's face was angst and a tear was methodically wiped from her eye out of the children's view with military precision, so as not to make them aware of their father's plight.
The conversation stopped and the Dr left the room, Andy was feeling very sleepy now, his two lovely youngsters were becoming a bit of a blur, Andy tried desperately to keep his focus on his beloved Sarah but the sheer hard work of keeping his eyes open was too much for him to overcome as desperate as he was to chat and listen to his two little girls he could keep his eyes open no longer.
 At that point, though he didn't know it, Andy was gone.
 That unforgiving disease that knows no earthly boundaries had used it's full arsenal of weapons on Andy and had taken yet another poor soul from this Earth, yet in such bitter twist of irony he had ensured it's own demise at the same time, as by dying Andy had at last won the battle, but lost the war.
The room fell silent, the two little girls slid off the bed as Mummy said "Daddy wanted to sleep now", another strategically hidden tear rolled down Mummy's face, this time it was much harder to get away with. They left the room and the door closed with a clunk.
On the far wall the long strip of light emulated the room's only occupant by slowly being engulfed by the darkness, much as Andy had been engulfed by that dreadful disease. Then, save for the odd footsteps outside and the sound of central heating pipes still carrying out their noisy task, the room fell silent.

Partners in time.

No man is an Island.  Wise words indeed, but equally true about the fairer sex, coping on your own with anything, big or small is made all the more tough by doing it single handed.  So why is it that so many couples split these days and then try and make sense of their lives afterwards?. Surely it would be simpler to work through issues before they became major issues?.
If only life were that simple.
The pace of life dictates how much time you actually get to sit down and chat with your spouse/partner and the facts are that life's pace at its present level for many is unsustainable, so despite all their best intentions couples will split simply because they do not get the quality of time together that sustains a relationship.
Many years ago the two day weekend was a fact. No-one worked on Saturdays except emergency services and shift workers of which there were few, but at the present moment in time Saturday's are carte blanche with the odd Sunday or two thrown in for good measure.
This scenario leads to overwork, tiredness, pressure and even guilt for not being with your off-spring etc. In turn the partner at home can feel isolated and alone and also have such thoughts as "they love work more than me", it is human nature and it is contributing to many rocky patches and break-ups quite simply because no-one gets time to actually talk.
As a society, we are all guilty of wanting 24 hour access to all amenities, we want petrol/diesel, groceries,clothes,tires,cars etc etc so in turn shops employ at the weekend, traditionally the sacrosanct family time, but it's now been eaten away by our 24 hour need for items and the more we employ the less family time we get, the more pressure we get on relationships and family units, its a vicious circle.
Do I have the answer?.. absolutely not, as I too have to work very hard to make ends meet and as such I find myself sat alone writing to everyone about this subject in an empty house on Easter Sunday, a victim of the very needs i have just spoken of, having not seen my off-spring for days the very afternoon I am free they are with the in-laws because they issued a decree for lunch that is rarely ignored. Can I blame her? no not really, all we see of one another is hello-goodbye, so she is hardly going to sit and wait at home for me to return as and when. So, as you see, I have no answer to the stresses on family life that the burden of 24 hour work brings upon us, but one thing I am sure about and that is that as long as we keep increasing the work load on those that will actually work hard for a living the more marriage problems will occur and no matter what politicians preach, those facts won't change, we are caught in a hamster's wheel of misfortune. I am now going to make myself a cup of coffee, grab some toast for lunch and try and take things easy for at least an afternoon as tomorrow (you guessed it) it may be a bank holiday but i have to work and so the cycle continues.... if i make it to old age perhaps i may write a book about it.

Father and Son.

Did we see eye to eye?
Did we find that bond that never breaks?
Or has time just softened all those hopes and ideas?
Now I walk alone in daylight hours
Left with thoughts in night time's cloak
Were they growing pains of Father and Son
Or blood stained anarchy in the end?
Now the talk is all but settled
You lay resting in eternal peace
But those thoughts still form my shadow
So did I hear, or fake a deafness
And tried to prove my worth?
And did you ever know the truth
That you could never be replaced at all
For if you did it never showed
But I will live all your tomorrow's
Install that pride that was never felt
That is all that's left to give
Your freedom through a spirit soars
That softens blows brought with your absence
I can fly, you taught me well.

The Sunday Roast

Being in my forties, I remember The Virginian, 3-2-1, World Of Sport on a Saturday with wrestling from Big Daddy and Kendo Nagasaki, Giant Haystacks and Skippy washed down with a bit of Thunderbirds. I remember playing in woods and riding my bike for miles, building 'dens' from hay bales and using apples as missiles to throw at one another while you "took cover" behind a tree.
I remember getting £5 a week for helping the local farmer load bales on to a trailer, (the ride home on top of the bales was always brilliant!), I remember long hot summers where the only thoughts were the things you were going to do the next day...
We swung from trees with make-shift rope swings, we jumped in rivers, we made "tunnels" in straw ricks, we used huge knives to cut the top off a swede and throw it in the trailer as the trailer moved slowly along, the "dangers" we got ourselves in to were endless..
Or, were they?. Wasn't that just the process of growing up and learning that our next generation will never see?. The only technology I had was a small transistor radio with a rather dodgy PP3 battery that i hid under my pillow and listened to Radio Luxembourg on as it whistled and wavered around (usually more so in the middle of your favourite song)!, it was a secret pleasure that your parents didn't understand, they grew up on Frankie Valle and Jim Reeves how could they get John Lennon and Procul Harem?, in fact it was on that very same dodgy radio that i heard of the fatal shooting of John Lennon, even then i can remember shedding a tear...
The facts are that I didn't miss out on any opportunities, even though I had little or nothing in those days, some Tonka toys and a few Corgi and Dinky cars and that was me.. as it was for many in our row of council houses where i grew up. I sometimes sit and watch my 6 year old boy and 9 year old girl play with something new they have had for being excellent scholars, which indeed they are, though Lord knows who they get it from, they don't get it from their Dad! and i watch as they slowly get bored with the new arrival and hey presto they go back to reading a fun book or grabbing the Wii controller for another battle with Planet Zorg or such like.
 The truth and the sad part is, we encourage our kids to see material wealth, as young as my two are they see their social standing in the class room relative to their new gadgets. What a shame, how could we as a generation that grew up with nothing be so free and easy with what we give our kids?. The answer is simple, it's BECAUSE we had nothing that we want our kids to have everything we can afford. It's like we are reliving our childhoods with money to spend, but the reality is we are wrecking our own kids lives by ignoring the very thing we always came up against... parents saying no.
 The most worrying aspect in all this for me is the assumption that there are no losers, brought on by an extremely ill conceived wishy-washy liberal policy that "all children are winners", clearly they are not and indeed never can be. To induce such a theory in young minds is to set them up for the fall of a lifetime in the real world when they suddenly realise they are NOT good enough and have failed in some way, try explaining that to a rather indignant 19 year old.
So, despite my harsh upbringing and lessons in life that were learned on the hoof, somehow i survived to tell this tale, I have experience that the kids of today will never ever get the chance to see, how many 7 year old's do you know that were plonked on to a tractor seat, the tractor put into gear for them and the mower started up while being told to "drive around the field and cut the thistles but don't go too close to the river bank"..with no roll cage or safety cab and no emergency stop button ..?  the answer is simple, none of them.
That little episode began my lifelong fascination with machinery that exists today, how strange a mix, a writing mechanic, I still laugh at people who talk to me in the yard at work when in my overalls, expecting a Daily Sport conversation, the fact is I can talk Daily Sport and I can talk The Times, I can witter away in French and then in broad Shropshire, quote Latin phrases yet swear like a trooper. In case you hadn't guessed I am in constant battle with who i actually am, a Grammar school educated truck driver/farmer/businessman/Technician/salesman/writer/poet... or whatever else you wish me to be. If it was needed to be done i did it, I didn't look around for help i just got on with it and if there is one thing that worries me about our next generation it is that by the time they have waited for someone to come and do it for them...life will have passed them by, what a sad state of affairs that really is.


Dave James.

Right here right now.

The multi-layered tumbling fields
Cascade into the distant hills
Sweetest scent of summer's fayre
Carried like the wind's own breath
The warming Midday sun still rises
This morning's dew is on the run
The Willow's branches swirling twisting
Like layered gown that's caught the breeze
The sounds of Summer all encompassed
No man made Sonnet dare compete
My senses fed at Nature's table
No finer banquet e'er relinquished
I dine with King's that need no crowns.

Lost?.

Must I keep silent shed no tears
For all that life has brought?

Keep feelings hidden through the years
Ignore the life I sought?

Wretched is the tortured soul
That finds no place called home

A destiny awaits so cold
A lifetime spent alone.

That wild endurance nature's gift
Held tight while youth prevailed

But then released once more adrift
Like Ship without it's sails

The choice to wonder take a chance
Thus wrenched from where i stood

My time to live my time to dance
It seems now gone for good.

A lesson learned a song now sung
Repent a life forsaken

A foot that stayed on bottom rung
My chances never taken.