Would Jubilee've it? a Commonwealth of stars and egos's.

I sat quite still last night (in no small way due to a current back injury) and settled in to watch the Jubilee concert held to celebrate 60 years of hard work by Her Majesty the Queen, admittedly it has been 60 very cosseted and comfortable years, where she has wanted for absolutely nothing, but I wonder just how many of us would really want THAT lifestyle where heir's and grace's are everyday occurrences and you can't break wind without a comment in the newspapers as to how long it lasted and why it happened. Definitely NOT for me that's for sure.
I was also intrigued I must admit, to see just what sort of job Auntie Beeb made of it, after the horrendous fallout from the previous day's boating extravaganza that never actually got off the ground due to some of the worst commentating and even more horrendous production ever witnessed, (apart from Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood at the BRITS that is). So, settled in with a small Scotch (medicinal purposes of course), I watched as Robbie Williams made what can only be described as the perfect start, the crowd were ecstatic and Robbie did exactly what he does best, show off in his own inimitable style. I thought to myself, mmmm this is going to be a good one for sure!.
We then had Will-i-am and if i am honest i am a bit of a Will-i'm-not fan but hey i cant love everyone out there. Jesse-J outshone the pampered pouter Will by a million to one with a voice straight out of the 'you are gonna get this like it or not' school of singing,  thus bringing us back on course for a great evening. Gary Barlow then appeared with Cheryl Cole, which brought the proceedings down a notch or two, Gary was his usual smooth, confident self but Cheryl looked like a rabbit caught in front of some car headlights, I thought at any minute she was going to roll up her train and make a run for it, unusual indeed for the normally very confident Ms Cole, perhaps the whole occasion was a little overpowering.

Credit where it is due though, the production and camera work and angles were well up to worldwide standard, obviously Auntie B had pulled her veritable tights up and raised the bar somewhat. Ed Sheeran captivated the whole Country with his wonderful down to earth almost acoustic performance, showing us that quality is best left untouched, while Sir Cliff came along and for the first time,  I have to admit the Peter Pan of pop looked a little more Captain Hook than he would like to admit, but his final rendition of 'congratulations' brought the audience to it's feet once more. It would take someone far more qualified than me to explain what came next, Grace Jones... errr well yes,  it was exactly what i would expect from her, outrageous and in your face, but what the hell was she doing amongst some of the biggest stars in music ever to grace the planet? What on earth was Gary Barlow thinking when Grace Jones popped into his head ?... I can only take a guess and the answer would probably have to go out after the watershed. This whole performance lasted 3 cringe worthy minutes as the amazing Grace hoopla's, yes you heard it, hoopla's.. her way through 'Slave To the Rhythym'..(indeed we were Grace indeed we were)  we were all here showing the world how to party and someone invites Russel Harty's nemesis with the voice of a plumbers mate and the jaw line and body of a female Arnold Schwarzenegger. Nil pwunts Gary.
The old Crooner was up next, still looking sexy and a knockout, Tom Jones brought the standard back up to par, what a voice that man has got !. Delilah was a huge hit with the audience and i am sure we were all singing 'she's only gone and had her Weetabix' the temptation was far too much. JLS meanwhile were the token under 12's entertainment for the night but again I have to say they performed very well even though i am not sure whether Prince Charles was actually compos mentis while they were on.
 Rolf Harris that perennial Ozzy favourite of ours who is surely second only to Her Majesty in the country's affections then appeared to a huge round of applause and rightly so, as by now things were getting a little bit deja-vu as far as these things go, lots of back-slapping and compliments, decidedly dodgy comedians jokes read off the auto-cue and too many ego's in the same place to be worth listening to.

Some fantastic opera singing then followed, beautifully produced, then wonderfully executed by Alfie Boe and Renee Fleming, who unfortunately for her was the brunt of one of the worst gags of the night from an otherwise faultless performance by the venerable Rob Brydon. Lenny Henry introduced Her Majesty and was a little close to the knuckle but that's Lenny, but then one of the most disappointing parts of the night came when Rolf was asked to fill in while the Stevie Wonder entourage rebuilt the stage for their own use, Rolf even had Princess Anne singing 'Two Little Boys' word for word while the rest of the audience were held  in the cusp of his hand,  when Lenny Henry was told to interrupt him because Stevie Wonder was ready. The resounding instant Boo's were as instant and as meaningful as they were deserved and the look on Rolf's face was one of shear disbelief. I sometimes wonder if the backroom production staff are far too time limit orientated to notice the actual crowd they are putting it all together for, if they weren't so time paranoid they would have noticed Rolf had actually got the whole Country's attention and hearts.

Stevie Wonder looked and performed so very very well, the only strange part was Will-I-Am-hereagain getting in on the act, clearly the strangely named over-hyped Howard from the Halifax look-alike crooner holds court in some very high places.
Kylie was exquisite, if understated showing zero sized models exactly why men prefer curves and a nice bottom, while Annie Lennox made an appearance, again I wonder if some of these stars are asked just because they are 'always' there, if that is the case then it's time it was looked at, as the performance of her 'missing an angel' was very 'same old same old' and did nothing to inspire. Then came Elton, well what can one say about Elton?. The country love him and he loves this country. He does so much to inspire and gives thousands to charities across the globe so the guy can do no wrong.
Then as promised we had Madness on the roof of Bucks Palace, Madness could play in the Paris sewers and they would fill the place, so seeing them here was a stroke of genius by our venerable Mr Barlow, he is clearly in tune with how high an esteem this bunch of 'nutty boys' are held in by this wonderful nation of ours hearts and they didn't disappoint and the use of the Palace walls as a screen for the video worked like a Swiss watch with impeccable timing and faultless display, so once more i found myself lifted to the very rafters with a feeling of  Britishness long since forgotten i suspect by many of us during these hard recession hit times.
What came next was for me, the Pièce de résistance, a song born from every corner of the Commonwealth produced and written by Gary (again) and his holiness Andrew Lloyd Weber who were both on stage to help perform this wonderful soundtrack to the reign of a Monarch, as inspirational as it was brilliant, it showed the world just who is the best when it comes to songwriting and questioned why as a nation we allow those Eurovision cronies the time of day to dare judge us musically. The whole performance was exquisite and brought a tear to the eye.
Paul McCartney was next up after a huge fan fair and again Paul is held very dear to us all as a nation, his songs along with the other 3 Beatles were the soundtrack to nearly everyone while growing up and he is in any case a great guy in all respects, but and it's here i may suffer the wrath of many with a possible spell in the Tower at Her Majesty's pleasure, I do think the voice is starting to age faster than his music with the vocal performance very much down on par.
Prince Charles then read out a very moving speech to 'mummy' as he called her, though judging by her Majesty's expression to this quip he may be in the same cell as me in the Tower if he says it again!. As expected Queen Elizabeth II stood there and took it all in her stride, she was her usual regal royal self, unfazed and completely at ease while the whole Country gave her a well deserved round of applause.

So all in all was it a success? Of course it was. Though I feel that anyone thinking of putting another huge gig on for the Country for whatever reason may have to look a little deeper into the performers pool to catch a few up and coming stars, as judging by some of the performances and performers on stage at this gig some of them may have already sung their swansong and i for one would be keen to see some new blood filtering through,  otherwise when all these huge stars do actually put the microphone away we may have some difficulty filling their shoes,  but in the meantime if i was Gary Barlow I would sit back, put the feet up and wait for the invitation from the Palace to drop through the letterbox, got a ring to it 'Sir' Gary don't you think?









 

Lap of the 'God's'?. They would like to think so.

'What you sew so shall you reap' is a saying i am sure the majority of us are well aquainted with (at least in the over 25's)!  and I think that is more prevelant now in the Business banking sector of this Country than ever before. Time and again I hear from my business partners and fellow bosses about harsh treatment handed out by the beloved big four. Stories of epic fights for the right to common sense are common place with staff being unable or unwilling to correct mistakes made or to lend a helping hand or money where it is obviously so required.

This recession (the longest and hardest I think any of us will ever know pray God) has taken it's toll on many big names and even more small family businesses. The former usually because of a mire of rot that has set in and eaten away at the business for years like a cancer downs a living being. But in the case of the latter a lot of the time it is usually something singular like the loss of one contract or someone doesn't pay their huge bill.
Both happenings are sad and are part of a wide ever changing circle much like life. Life and death should be accepted by us all obviously and if you haven't accepted either yet then my advice is to start planning for both as soon as possible, because if you are reading this then you are definitely alive and the other i guarantee will follow!.
During my time at the helm of a small business I have watched very much in anger at the way the bank's can happily change their tune at the drop of a hat, for instance, these days it is almost guaranteed that you will not see a bank manager as such, you will have a call centre to talk to with staff who will give your details to a group of managers sat at their phones making day to day decisions, or 'God's' as they like to be known.
These guys believe that they have the power of life and death hence the 'God's' quip. One day they will grant a request for a small business and the next they will write their epitaph and even contact the undertaker for them while selecting the hymns, that is the power that they yield and revel in. These pompous underlings with the business acumen of a fried potato chip are all that stands between economic growth and stagnation, no surprise a double dip here then.

In fact, this is not exactly correct. You see, as much as the God's would like to think they have the ear of British business and that they make all the life and death decisions, they too are being used by their bosses to simply fire the bullets, they have no more power than the man in the street. The real decision makers are shareholders. Banks are a business. never forget that while you are dealing with them and you will be fine, the difference is to a certain extent they have a captive audience and rather than be customer driven they drive the customer.

Like it or not we are all in the same boat, a group of people in this Country have the say on how this economy runs and it isn't MP's,  they (the banks) have it wrong and we will stay in recession until that changes. To rebuild Britain we need to rebuild the businesses that made us the best. We dont need sound bites from politicians especially quite frankly the worst government in living history (except the Gordon Brown era of course), we need a recovery plan. Now there is a word you worryingly don't hear at the moment...recovery.

My point of writing today however is that through talking to other like minded business people there is one fact that remains a constant. It is a message to all those banks who wallow in their own self righteousness preaching to the brow beaten small businesses about austerity and planning while dining out with the very money that those small businesses paid out in order to bail out those pompous, immoral beings from their self made holocaust and STILL they hand out bonuses.
Cometh the day ... if the banks continue their course of greed and intolerance as they are now then when we do get to a meaningful recovery there is going to be a very very tough time ahead for the 'God's' and their henchmen bosses. Even I dare to say a banking revolution. I personally cant wait.

The Haunting

In darkest corner cold and damp
A fellow sits and stares
His jacket worn too many times
His socks no longer pairs

He sits alone in silent thought
Like life just etched him so
His laces lie untied and frayed
His head bowed down so low,

A shadow forms across his face
Where once a razor drew
The greying hair a testament
To all that he's been through.

No seat has he just boarded floor
To rest upon and dwell
A punch drunk look of life and times
A living breathing hell

I look so deep into his eyes
To find what lies within
But stand in shock it's thin disguise
'Tis I sat there not him.

A little hope.

When you look but cannot see
You leave but not arrive
Believe but it's beyond the truth
Live life but not alive

When light is total darkness
When sound is silent too
When every day is black as night
And every colour's blue,

When happiness is something less
And friends forget you're there
The only season's winter,
And the cupboards always bare

Find strength where once was weakness
Find love where once was none
Believe that you can beat the odds
Your future's just begun.
. 

Soldier Blue.

A soldier blue once walked past me
With flag and gun for all to see
Shouts i hurrah for you are brave
Our King and country you will save

But as he marched i noticed that
Beneath his hardened soldiers hat
An empty stare that held the thought
Of all the horrors battle brought

He marched a line so straight and true
With comrades also dressed in blue
A sense of pride we all could feel
As on they marched from toe to heel

But as they disappeared from view
Their colours flying proud and true
Thought i of soldier blue once more
His stare that told the truth of war.

A busy fool.

I find myself wondering more and more lately about the actual point of running around like a headless chicken chasing the so called perfect life that in reality is there all the time right under our noses.
We have a little grumble if our eBay parcel hasn't arrived or the postman is late or there is a power cut, dinner is late or someone you are meeting is late, i could go on but you get where i am coming from. The truth is it really doesn't matter about any of these things, we have just been programmed to react in a certain way if they happen to us, like being sarcastic or simply down right rude. If we actually stop and think about it, there is no need for us to react in this way, but it takes a very different way of looking at life to accept this different view,  as to so many people time is money, a saying i absolutely loathe with every bone in my body, time isn't money, time is precious, every single minute and second is precious, money has nothing at all to do with it.
So, just what use is it being the richest person in the cemetery?.  I am not saying that we should throw away all our possessions and build mud huts on the nearest hill and eat berries for breakfast, (although i have to say that in the present climate and weather that does appeal!) what i am saying is that far too many people are taking life way too seriously and think that possessions bring happiness and fulfilment, on the contrary, like a drug they just tempt you to want more and more, it's like a rush that drugs give you only this time it's a legal high but no less debilitating.
There are those amongst us who thrive on competition and rivalry and dismiss those who have found contentment within themselves for who they are and for what they are.
 I myself have always pushed so hard and worked such long hours as to have built a reputation as someone who is always working, something i really am not that proud of. I have a brother Chris, he has always been happy to work his work and then come home and enjoy life, he never aspired to travel the world or chair meetings or start businesses with staff and all the headaches that brings, he drove his tractor until it was time to go home and that was good enough for him and more importantly he loved every minute of what he was doing, while I was all over Europe promoting golf course machinery for a manufacturer taking meetings with dealerships that saw 20 to 30 people intently listening to what the company had to offer, setting up business on my own, writing, being a school governor, rally driving..you name it.
The truth is all the time i was globetrotting and busy setting up the next project, in the back of my mind every now and then i would just think about how ideal Chris's life really was compared to my madness, i would be in another plane, another hotel, meeting people i scarcely knew and having dinner with them and Chris....well Chris would be in his local chatting away to his friends content with what life had given him. I found myself thinking well it isn't for me i couldn't do that i need to be out there doing 100mph with my backside on fire or i am not happy!.
 Perhaps as we grow older we reflect more on what we have achieved and if it hasn't followed the master plan or vision you had set yourself then human nature tells you to view that as failure. The latter is precisely where i place myself, I know with that everyone will rally round and say no, no, no, you have done this and that etc but if you are being honest with yourself and looking back at your achievements i can honestly say i have made mistakes and achieved very little from the promise i had as a youngster, does it haunt me? well yes a little, will it change who i am in the next few years well yes absolutely, I intend to see life for what it is rather than what it can give me. In a way I am finding that contentment my brother Chris found with his job, i admit it scares me a little because i am a wild soul that doesn't like to be tied down, but i think i can find a balance with my bi-polar self whereas i can appreciate the simpler things while managing my wilder side, a move that I hope will bring me closer to some real happiness, the sort of happiness that comes from just being you in the place and surroundings that you enjoy the most, enjoying the sunshine the smell of fresh cut grass, the sounds of nature all around that continually play and if you are lucky enough you may one day sit down and have chance to actually listen to.. I hope for your sakes you all do..

A little bird's tale..

A little bird he tweeted so
From morning until night
I asked him nicely once to quit
He said 'one day i might'
He tweeted louder every day
Sometimes the noise was shrill,
Again I asked if he could stop,
He said, 'one day i will'.
His treetop hoots were louder now
As he grew so much older,
When asked to quit chirped "will i shit"
His tweets now that much bolder.
But hail the day I have to say
Came violence you have read of
The neighbours cat put paid to that
And chewed his bloody head off.


 

Now shall i write about class 4?
Egyptians?..dogs or sport?
Such choice I never had before
An interesting thought.

There's ladybirds and history
Learning, puppies, humour,
So many choices just for me
I should have started sooner !

PE, fashion,circuits, swimming
Oh my I'm really dizzy
So many subjects you're all brimming
You really have been busy!

So here's a thought a simple one
It really is quite hot
I took your subjects one by one
And simply used the lot!

A poem for class 4

Egypt, land of pyramids
A place to take the class 4 kids
Golden sand and bluest sea
As we all know from our Miss p

 Class 4 are busy doing a topic on Egypt and i have the task of addressing them this morning and introducing them to poetry a task i hope they enjoy as much as i ... here is a little something to make them smile (i hope! or i am gonna be one very uncool Dad!)

A river deep that's called the Nile
Just take a dip and you will smile
Mummies dressed from head to toe
With bandages how strange you know!

Now once I tried i must confess
To walk Egyptian ..what a mess!
I couldn't get it right you see
Egyptian? well I'm not you see.

I walked along the desert sand
To meet the Sphinx and shake his hand
But yet another shock I cry!
He's made of stone and awfully high!

So next time you get chance to go
To Egypt, you just need to know
It's full of interesting stuff
I guess it's really Pharoah'nuff 

Professional Dictators. Who would be a teacher?.

At a time when so many families are finding it hard to make ends meet, it would be comforting to say the least to know that although things have been bad recently there is actually light at the end of the tunnel, but alas that light is just some new government quango official with a torch bringing the good hard working people of this Country more completely irrelevant by-law to adhere to, or face imprisonment or a day in the stocks at the very least.
You see, far from taking such ridiculous burdens away from the great and the good in this Country as promised, Messrs (double entendre intended) Cameron and oh, now who is that other guy?... have trebled the amount of crazy rules and regulations we have to abide by, hence the cries from every corner of this poor land  'you are out of touch'. Now of course, that message will never reach the Governments ears because it is deemed to be just a press bite that doesn't warrant a reply, but hang on.. is it?.

Cameron and ...errr I will remember him in a moment (which is more than history will) would do well to listen to the gentle folk of this Country for a change instead of some other pompous twit brought up through the ranks and given a job to advise them on how to become more popular with the electorate.
I run a business that is always in direct contact with the general public, they seem to all be singing from the very same hymn sheet lately, yes they are fed up and yes they think this government has lost it's way but the difference is not only are the complaints becoming louder but also on the same subjects, namely immigration, health and teaching.
The worst mistake any party in power can make is not to listen to its own people. Gordon Brown, Margaret Thatcher, Harold Wilson, Ted Heath are all proven and fallen testaments to this fact, the only exception is Tony Blair who didn't listen just long enough to hand the reigns over to the afore mentioned lamentable Mr Brown.. I tell you if you are ever in a big battle, stand directly behind Tony Blair.. you would never get hit, Teflon Tony knows a few moves !.
If you want an example of complete and utter meddling by this so-called government of the people take a quick look at the teaching profession. In my opinion the whole school industry is about to implode. You may think that I am being a little dramatic but allow me some latitude your Worship.
Teachers are being hunted down at the moment, they are public enemy No.1 to the government, they are the reason our society is broken and they must all be brought to book for the downward spiral of our spirituality and morals for the past 20 years. That is the story according to Westminster.  The facts unsurprisingly are all too glaringly different. The real problem in our classes is that consecutively weak governments have allowed the pupil to become king over a land that it has no jurisdiction or experience to rule. Teachers are on the run, if not from the very pupils they are trying to educate then the very bosses they serve through more and more ridiculous over-regulation. Time and again OFSTED (herein known as the 4th Reich as they cannot be argued with..AT ALL...EVER) change the goal posts for teachers who have but one aim when they come in to the profession and that is to teach...the silly naive so and so's aren't they?.
Nanny govt knows better. Nanny govt has lots of little troopers all around the Country that know better and they MUST be listened to or sacking and floggings at dawn are the expected norm. OFSTED have every teacher in the Country worried for their job even if they are performing outstandingly, due to the uneducated idealistic sanitised view of schools emanating from Westminster, while in reality Parliament cant even get it's OWN house in order. Pot, kettle, black, anyone?.
I am 47. I was raised with a healthy respect for my teacher's, I didn't always like them but I had respect and that came from a sense of right and wrong instilled in me at an early age. When I was at school we had winners and losers, we had play bars that hurt if you fell off them, we had rules that meant you got a smacked arse if you broke them, we never sat a single govt test until the 11 plus, if you studied and did well you went to the Grammar school if not you went to the Secondary. It was life and there my friends is the key to why school's are failing. It's not that our poor teachers are all second rate and need constant badgering and draconian legislation to help them do their jobs, it's not because kids are naughtier (although allowed to play the system even a politician should be bright enough to see they will do so) it's because successive government meddling and poor upper management followed by a transition of rights to the pupils (the very people we are actually trying to help to learn about life) ,have been allowed to call the shots. Mother Nature would never let the Lion be hunted by the Gazelle. That is not real life and neither is the current school's curriculum.. I am afraid our kid's are not being taught real life and it's all down to Mother Westminster.

I don't like to beat about the bush most of the time but I always think if you argue a case then it should have 2 things, number one is it should have a point and number two is it should come from someone who has at least had a glimpse of what they are dealing with so they can actually talk with some merit, well I have both as I am a Governor at our local Primary and I see first hand what the incompetent meddling and constant pressure of losing your job is doing to our poor bloody teachers who are trying in reality to knit fog with two tennis rackets. It's a damn scandal and it is reminiscent of a dictatorial society of Orwellian proportions.

OFSTED's little Hitlers sat in their bunkers and their masters the political parties need to realise something that all good Generals have recognised in every battle ever fought throughout the generations, you MUST keep morale. If you lose morale then you lose the battle and that my friends and countrymen and women is exactly where we are at the moment. Teachers have little or no morale, they are brow-beaten by legislation that is ill thought out and idealistic administered by an untouchable, unquestionable unapproachable force that is not fit for purpose and the whole rotten lot of it needs pulling apart to the bare bones and starting again.

But don't listen to me, after all I am just a single voice in a cast of millions, luckily for OFSTED and the government, unluckily for my beautiful Country and those wonderful people who dare to try and teach our much maligned and mostly misunderstood youth. 










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