What retailers really want to say :-)

The customer is always right
Or so the saying goes
But here is just a little list
The other side it shows,

"It was broken when I bought it"
Buy a pair of specs
"It's cheaper on the internet"
Well go see Google next
"Can you do it cheap for cash?"
Are you from Revenue?
"This cream has caused a nasty rash"
It would it's Super Glue.

"Can I pay in small installments"
Sure I'm made of money
"Do you have any more in stock?"
You really are quite funny !!!
"My dad says that is way too dear"
In that case he can do it
"You will be hearing from my brief"
If you can't haggle sue it
"Has this done a lot of miles?"
A lot less in reverse...
"What warranty is there for me?"

"I think my daddy knows your boss"
He drinks in gay bars too?
"Will you take a cheque from me?"
I love the jokes you do
"American Express Ok?"
You must be bloody joking
"I think this smells of  creme de menthe"
Fuck I think I'm choking
"Tell me are you open Sundays?"
Sure who needs a life?
"Any extras with this purchase?"
Just wait I'll get the wife
"Have you this in any colour?"
It would still look shitty
"I almost tripped on your display!"
You didnt? more's the pity.