The Life And Times.

Monday, 11 November 2013

A Famous Battle against Periplaneta Australasiae (or Roachy for short)

Apparently Cockroaches can fly.. I kid you not, mind you its not something a Brit would be completely up to speed with as thankfully we have very few of said bugs even more so the airborne variety, though thankfully fly screens on the windows and doors here in OZ usually keep them in their natural habitat but when you do have the odd faux pas and forget to close one then expect to see the insect equivalent to a Lancaster bomber with eminently less rudder control heading your way! I say this with confidence and experience as one came to visit last night as I was watching Demolition Man on the TV of all things, yes you heard right I did say Demolition man, the TV is not one of Australia's strongest points in fact the Brit Sit-Com repeats are a welcome release trust me, which is just as well as they are on all the time!.
Anyway, back to my big flying friend, he came into the room and landed above my head behind the settee, then had another little buzz around until I flicked him off the wall with a newspaper. The problem was he then disappeared..... now I am not squeamish normally but when confronted with a contender for "Fat Bugs R Us" in your living room while relaxed is not my idea of entertainment, even less so when he goes AWOL after the first engagement, I had visions of him plotting his revenge with a quick mouth crawl while I slept, or slipping across a few morsels of food with his germ ridden ass dragging along it for spite, oh yes believe me it was an uneasy sleep last night, not knowing whether I was going to get a re-enactment of Sir Guy Gibson and his Dam-busters crew across the valleys of my Duvet as soon as the light went out was not a great feeling.
Luckily, morning came and I headed for the bathroom still mindfully aware that my adversary was still in the building, I showered and came into the kitchen for breakfast being ever vigilant, even checked behind the settee where the last sighting occurred and nothing, but I was not at ease I had a feeling I was being watched, it was an uneasy truce.
I ate breakfast and tidied the apartment whistling along to my favourite tune as I did so, keeping a beady eye out for you know who. Suddenly without explanation or introductions there he was! scurrying across the carpeted floor towards the glass door on to the Balcony, he was limping from our earlier incursion and was easy prey, I stepped forward with the Telegraph and let him have both barrels all at once, the deed was done I had won the day, the Luftwaffe Telegraph had struck the fatal blow to our hefty flying friend and all was well again, I just need to remember that fly screens serve a purpose over here. I will stand on sentry duty if the door is open again, I am already looking at searchlights and barrage balloons to weigh things in my favour, I have also subscribed to The Telegraph so I have ammunition aplenty, this could be a long and bloody campaign.








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