The Life And Times.

Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Open Heart, Open Eyes.

Such fire that burns inside my mind
That once knew passion e'er so blind
Succinct in fledgling lover's arms
Yet vulnerable to all her charms,

For day's aplenty once were tasted
No hour thus spent was deemed as wasted
Lay in arms of passion's making
A heart so open ripe for taking

And there whilst open singing praises
Life at once the dagger raises
The sonnet Thorn Bird's requiem
To hell's own fire it does condemn

Brave men and true fall for that spell
Though none so brave they live to tell
An open heart Achilles heel
Life's harsh reward for those who feel

So my allegiance duty bound
To wait my turn with scarce a sound
Will pass me by and strike another
No more then I,  that tortured lover.










Monday, 29 April 2013

One Swallow doth not a Summer make..

Sunday comes and goes. Nothing new in that I hear you shout at me like some scolded child forever ignoring their parents good advice. Well, maybe there are two sides to every story, after all "judging a book by it's cover" is fraught with danger if we are to believe all we read.
You may or may not be surprised to know (depending whether you know me very well or not) that I was a walking disaster at school. Oh, don't get me wrong, in my primary school where my mother was deputy head i was a star pupil, but with your mother there everyday it was hardly surprising.  No. i mean high school, or in this case Ludlow Grammar School after i passed my 11 plus as it was at the time.
From the very start i struggled. My maths fell into disarray and my science was diabolical, languages became a bore and i was dropped from Latin to do Spanish, the equivalent these days of leaving the Premier League to play for your local youth club.  I wasn't lazy, far from it, I just needed pushing, but this was the last intake of Grammar School pupils at Ludlow and dare i say it teachers were putting the time in until retirement, many of whom i recall should have gone 10 years BEFORE I got there !. Hey ho, that was my lot. But... obviously i shone at English and literature. Dickens and Shakespeare left an indelible mark on my soul for which i shall be forever grateful. They opened up a world of culture and life changing views that remain with me to this day, if only my teacher Miss Baldwin could see me now, in fact it would be even better if my music teacher Mr Arney who has now sadly passed away could see me play a Strauss Waltz... I am sure he would near faint !.

I guess, joking aside, my message is that the fact i was a complete and utter failure at High School should not be a deterrent to those of you who are unsure of their own ability when traversing the avenues of your High School life and this so called "growing up" that adults keep forcing upon you. I am much more in tune with who I am now than I ever was at school and i firmly believe if you have a spark it will take more than a few hopeless years at a last gasp Grammar school to dampen it to a glow. I managed English and Art "O" levels before i left. I was seconded to work on a farm at 15 and there you have it, David's school day's.  I firmly believe that if  i was in a class today I would never be allowed to slip through the net as i did in the 80's, it couldn't happen in today's climate of Stats and OFSTED inspections which in many ways is supremely  comforting, but I do find all these inspections and tests a little too intrusive on a child's ability to enjoy their time facing the chalk and board, or lap top screen as it's now well known.

So, therein lies a tale, hopefully you can see i am living proof that you do not need school to be a success to make it in life, granted its an awful lot easier but I now find the level of experience i have obtained in my endeavours easily outweighs any paperwork i may have received from an exam judge, I have graduated with full honours from the school of life and there really is none better.

Have a great week.












Friday, 26 April 2013

The winds of change.

Hot coffee, lap top, Twitter, a recipe for a wasted morning !!  It's very hard to concentrate when you have a world to talk to. Twitter is something you completely get or you really don't, there seems no in between. I have many friends who raise their eyebrows still when i mention Twitter but as I hail from Shropshire that is hardly surprising, the highlight of most people's week over here is a shopping trip to Aldi's.

Ok, so maybe that was a little harsh but I have to confess this County does produce some one-offs and if you think i am joking let me introduce you to some characters.  Firstly there is a guy who comes into our yard with an old rusted out 4x4, he wears a cap and is deaf as a post, mid sixties cut him through the middle and he says "farmer" all the way through, his truck has never been washed outside or inside and is full of bale twine and plastic, the fact he is as deaf as a post is just as well really because his sheepdog barks out of his open drivers door window right behind his head and only the occasional  "LIE DOWN" shouted at the top of his voice will give the briefest respite from the dog's constant noise.
Then we have the two brothers, in their 70's both of them, never seen the end of the M54 motorway and if they ever lost site of Clee Hill (local landmark) they would be hopelessly lost. They come out every Friday whether they need to or not as its a "trip to town", it's the highlight of the week for them, they seldom have their teeth in and are always dressed in their suits when they come out come rain or heatwave, we have been to the farm to repair tyres on site and it is a venerable shit hole...quelle surpris !
But this is in deepest South Shropshire.. a backwater praised as much for it's scenery by tourists as it's inequality amongst it's inhabitants is lambasted, it's a harsh environment with neglected roads, hospitals and schools, it gets the second best of everything yet manages despite all those facts.. If you ask my feelings I have grown tired of it's hardships and some of it's inhabitants ignorance to many thing's cultural, but it's where i grew up and where my family are, though the love affair is waning as i grow older and I tire of the lack of facilities from a simple mobile phone signal to a fully fledged modern hospital that can cope with the ageing population... of which i don't think i will be around to witness..





Thursday, 25 April 2013

This is true. Absolutely true.

I have found myself wondering of late just how the Prime Minister of this fair isle gets to hear about what is happening on the shop floor of this Country.  I mean, let's face it, if you are the boss of a huge company and you have never walked amongst the people at the sharp end how on earth do you get a picture of what your policies are doing for productivity and value for money not to mention achieving their aim without wasting valuable time and assets?.  If, say for instance our PM is being advised by people of a suited nature it is quite feasible is it not that he is only being spoon fed what he actually wants to hear rather than what is actually really happening, in fact it is MORE than likely.
I say this because as a businessman of some 20+ years with my fair share of battles under my belt I have learnt that if you want to know how the workforce is doing you ask them, not a manager. It stands to reason, if the manager says it's dreadful and everything is falling apart and not working then you would be quite within your rights to dig a little deeper and even quiet possibly replace that manager with one that can knock it all back in to shape.  If you ask the workforce you will get a few moans and groans but invariably you will also get some invaluable information from people who are at the front line, not sat in an office waiting for their targets to be met while making up a new bulletin for all the staff to read and act upon, thus justifying their position in the company.
So, let me say this, if by some wonderful miracle dreamed up straight from a Hollywood movie i was to wake up in the morning and find myself  the PM of this Country,  this is what i would do: I would head to the hospitals all over the country and spend at least a month on the front line, i would then do it with the Police, the Fire Service, Teachers etc etc until I had built a picture of what is really going on in UK Plc at this present moment in time, because without that inside knowledge how the hell can you instruct ministers and their underlings to write policies that are actually meaningful and more importantly relevant?. Simple answer and a very true one. You can't hope to.
If all you have known is life in Oxford and a sheltered up-bringing amongst your like minded brethren you are no more equipped to run this Country than a tribal elder from Timbuktu. Sorry but that is also the truth.
Many years ago i started a new job selling equipment i knew very little about straight into a European market hungry for the goods, but instead of bluffing my way through and making it up as i went along i spent 3 months on the shop floor helping to manufacture the items before i even TRIED to sell the product and even more importantly and surprisingly I made alterations on the factory floor to help production run smoother that are STILL there to this day, so you see it was of mutual benefit to everyone concerned.
Now I am not suggesting the PM gets his overalls on and heads for the nearest NHS Trust but what he could quite easily be doing is sitting down and talking to those that matter the most and that is the people actually doing the damned job,  not those sat in an office writing about how they would like it done, I think he would get one hell of a surprise at what he uncovered in the way of waste and mismanagement while getting a truer picture of what is actually needed to get this country back on its feet.
If, like many right now, you are wondering just how i seem so sure there is waste culture and a lack of moral judgement in middle management in many government departments then i cam reveal my sources, you see fitting a tyre to someones car is a little like having a haircut or being stood at a bar and having a drink, people relax and as you work they tell you all about what is happening in their life and where the problems lie in their jobs and in case you do need a little more proof that my theory actually works yes I do fit tyres still occasionally...it's how i find out just how the ship is being steered and the continual theme that keeps recurring is one of managers making silly rules and spending much needed front line money on theories and plans that only see the inside of a waste paper bin when passed to the next level of management..... Think on Mr Cameron, i am apolitical and I for one always find people struggle to argue with the truth and none of the above is incorrect... as unlike you I talk to the workforce.





Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Ignorance is no defence.

Today was going very well as far as Monday's go. I was cool, calm and had all the avenues covered, firm but fair and keeping the ship nice and steady. Of course this being a Monday it was doomed to failure and oh was failure headed my way like an iceberg on the starboard bow while exiting a full right hand emergency manoeuvre..
I had ordered a 44 tonne truck and trailer to load the used tyres on and at 3.30 pm it duly arrived, i noticed immediately that it was one of the biggest trucks that currently use our roads, a Daf XF super space cab, to those who aren't sure then Google it if you so wish, believe me its big. I also knew this truck was automatic and as such a real pig to move in confined spaces.  Knowing the truck owner very well i went to the driver and said "Not wishing to patronise you or be condescending would you mind if i shunted the trailer around the back for you because its an awkward place to get in. Needless to say i was completely stone walled.
So, I stood back and tried to guide the guy down an alley way in reverse and into the yard, this task was somewhat long winded to say the least and after 15 minutes and umpteen tries I popped over to the door of the truck and asked "I am not being funny with you but do you mind if i jump in and do it for you?"

.....oh dear.  Some people really do take life a little too seriously and obviously i didn't take on the look of your average truck driver. What followed was a lot of swearing and spinning of wheels followed by a confrontation where i was reminded that said individual had been driving for 25 years and didn't need my sh#t... etc etc #ad infinitum..  I am pretty broad minded but even i was taken aback by the reaction from a supposed professional driver. At this point i reminded him he was in my yard and i wasn't happy with how i was being spoken to, this was only fuel on the fire and I was even squared up to.
Now.... let me put you in the picture for a second, yes I write... but I have also grown up around lorries and machinery, I have driven.owned,built,sprayed,sold and bought every type of truck in this country.  I have run my own fleet of trucks and employed drivers and run other peoples maintenance contracts on top of all this i run 3 different companies and am a partner in another one so i really do think that would qualify me to step into this poor man's shoes given the well known awkwardness of this particular reversing manoeuvre in what was after all my own yard. But no, instead of that he saw me as a threat. So no more ado he drove out of the yard and went back to his base.

20 minutes later the phone went and it was my uncle who owns the lorry. I have to admit i was annoyed at this point, more out of the stupidity of the incident than anything else, he said he would bring the trailer over later for me so i let it go at that.
  Sure enough the boss came in with said truck and lined it up to back it into the yard..... yep you guessed it, after 3 or 4 shunts he jumped out and muttered something along the lines of "ffs you do it".
  I am not Superman, but i do know the lie of the land in my own yard, i drew the lorry and trailer forwards, lined the trailer up to the corner of the building and put it straight in first time much to the amusement of my own staff who had seen all this going on at a distance.
No, I didn't crow, i just pointed out that it was all i had wanted to do in the first place. Local knowledge is invaluable and if any lessons can be learnt from this debacle it is that you should never judge a book by its cover, the driver saw a well dressed man trying to tell him how to do his job, in reality i was being sincere and offering the benefit of my experience in the given situation. His boss jumped out and let me get on with it.. that is the difference between employees and employers... and the gap it seems is as wide as ever in the trucking industry.  I don't miss employing drivers and especially those who shout and swear at customers who are actually paying their wages at the end of the day.  Rant over.






Monday, 22 April 2013

The Sunday Roast. All that I so wanted to be.

We learn constantly, whether we listen or in fact choose to listen sometimes is our choice, but it's those choices that determine where and how we end up in any given situation in life. I am as guilty as the next man for bemoaning my fate and my lot, I have indeed suffered greatly over the past 20 years as a businessman sometimes through no fault of my own but sometimes it was inherently my fault.
This pathway is a well worn one, so not for one minute would I have been alone but at the time when it was all going horribly wrong it felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I have been well off and i have been poor, I have to tell you I prefer well off but I have a better acquaintance with the latter.
 I was brought up to put myself at the very bottom of the pile, being the son of a deputy head in the same school i was always taught to keep my hand down even if i knew the answers in case my mother was accused of favouritism and I hate to say it but that stigma stayed firmly ingrained in my psyche really I guess until only a few years ago.
I still struggle to put a value on any work I do or any act i carry out, i see myself as a second rate human being despite friends chants to the contrary, you cannot shake a lifetime of belief any easier than you can change your ethnicity or your character, it is part of your make-up and part of what makes you who you are.
I sometimes see utter surprise on people 's faces or in replies when i say that I don't value myself either as a writer or as a person, it sounds like i am looking for self pity but i have been brought up thinking as such from an early age and it stays in your sub-conscious.
So, I may be a lost cause, but through my writing I can regain some control and perhaps one day a little pride in who I am and hopefully for my children it will be a very different story.
Children respond to what we as adults say and do so much more than we ever realise, they are far from stupid and can latch on to an atmosphere of hurt or happiness without a single word being spoken, they are the future and as such should have the very best of all we are as a parent. I can't do that financially and i can't do it through being there every day, but i can give them something else, I can give them the benefit of my years, I recognise what an important part of growing up my words are to my kids, I know that what i say to them now may be with them for the rest of their lives and I want only positive thoughts to come from their childhood.  All too often I hear a parent bawling at their child to stop doing something or other, it makes me wince, for more often than not that is the same disruptive child in class, the one who thinks shouting and being the centre of attention is ok, why not? ...the parents do the same.

I am very much at peace with where i am in my life. Yes I have made mistakes and some of them some real howlers but i cant change any of that, but i can change my future. Life is not all about work and doing and being everything to everybody its about who you are and what you want to be, but as always i myself have felt guilty if i thought for a second i was placing myself higher up the queue than anyone else...which takes me straight back to my formative years, those oh so important formative years. I do have one very good ally and that is i was born with a reasonable amount of intelligence, I only say this because of other people insisting it was so over the past few years, so much so that even i now accept that there is more than the average grey matter floating around up there in my head, but me being me i sometimes wish i was more "normal" in that i could settle for what i have and what i want out of life.
I stood talking to a psychic during the week, she is a wonderful friend and came into our service centre to get her car fixed, we often chat about things that the average garage proprietor would never venture with yet she and i are totally at ease with what we say to each other, she had just lost her dog and was clearly upset but held back the tears while we spoke. I knew if had talked with great sympathy, something i am and was clearly capable of i would reduce her to tears so i stayed strong and emphasised the positives of her relationship with her beloved dog, its what real friends do. During this conversation she said to me " do you ever wish sometimes you were just..well, normal?".  I was taken aback a little by her comment on the outside but deep inside i instantly knew what she meant,
"I do," I replied, " I wish i could be happy with all i have and not have the thoughts i have in my mind,"
"That is how i feel sometimes too" she replied "Its hard to deal with when you have a different vision, its almost like a curse that you have to deal with"
The fact i could instantly empathise with where she was coming from suddenly made me realise that yes i may be different but like the businessman who is struggling at a certain point in their lives I am far from alone with such thoughts, it lifted a huge burden from my mind, I am who I am, I should be very happy with that.

So what have you learnt from reading this? well i hope you have learnt a little more about who i am and why i am but also that we should all take more notice of who and what we are around our future, namely our children.
 If I dared to offer advice to any parent and Lord knows I am not even close to being the perfect role model it would be to think back to your own childhood and remember what you learnt from it, if it was good then carry it on if it was negative then spare them such trauma, for only by passing on the wisdom of all that's positive about them in life can they venture into a world with open minds and hearts not scarred by our very own hang ups.

Enjoy your week.







Sunday, 21 April 2013

You cant bomb your way to peace.

Oooohh, here we go again, in response to America being robbed of thousands of its citizens during 9/11 they are again bombed and killed while simply out running a marathon. A sane man would be the first to ask why?.
Is it not bad enough that lives are being taken in Iraq and Afghanistan as we speak?. Where will it all end?.

Let's just do what a wise man would do. Let's draw on our own experience during the past thousand years.
No-one, but no-one has ever won a war. Think about it.
Battles have been stopped because the losing side has had so many men killed it can no longer stand and fight, that is not winning its a senseless massacre of our sons and daughters, its not a victory.
All it takes is that frailty of human belief to gather momentum and before you know it the foot soldiers will be throwing themselves under buses and blowing themselves to pieces.. and what for?. A seat next to the "God" they worship?... Eternal salvation in paradise?.. as laughable as that sounds this is what some right minded adults believe such is the strength of the brain washing they receive at the hands of such religious groups and most of them supposedly mainstream.

Could I just spell it out guys and gals... there isn't an afterlife with angels or virgins waiting for any of us let alone someone who is a cold bloodied murderer. If they read their own small print it tells them so and in any case we are skin and bone, we die we die, its only our fear of the unknown that gives us religion and a hope that we continue and that fear is what religion plays on, when our organs shut down and we die or are killed, the truth is we are animals like any other on this earth, we die...we die.
The goings-on in America are dreadful they are beyond the belief of a sane man yet let me now remind America of what their sponsorship of the IRA did all those years ago...yes you guessed it, exactly what you suffer now and there is not a single true Brit whose heart will not go out to our American brethren for what happened in Boston this week but you are now living with what we in the UK lived with for decades.
So.. lets go back to the word experience because its something we English have in abundance when it comes to terrorism. In this case experience says you can try and fight terrorism and some times you may catch a few of the perpetrators and have a show piece trial..we had plenty of those in the UK in the 70's and most of the "villains" were locked up while innocent such was the UK populations baying for blood and i think America is on the very edge of the same precipice.
 Experience tells us that negotiation is the only way to peace. You cannot fight that that is invisible, America should sit down and talk with the Muslim community and broker a deal to save more innocent lives and until the "big man" grasps the nettle then people will die on American streets, which is senseless for the sake of a few politicians trying to save face, America is now in a war it cannot win, along with its staunch Allies it has stumbled in to a clusterf#ck of immense proportions and there is only one solution with the word "EXIT" sat over the door and that is negotiate, there are no winners in this fight except the undertakers and the bank accounts of the very fanatics you are trying to eliminate, so stop getting our sons and daughters killed for such a poor reason and sit down at the table, it's where you will end up eventually so do it now and save hundreds if not thousands of lives.

But what do i know i am just a simple farmers son?. 










Listen.

You judge like you are always right
That you alone are 12 good men and true
Though you, like us are made of skin and bone
Your shouting.... the only difference.

If you need to raise your voice to make your point
Then is the point worth making ?
True wisdom neither an audience or volume sought,
The wise man listens more than he talks

And in that silence he learns much,
Take heed from such as he
As wisdom often writes the chart of life
Or just be on your way with your noise

It grinds me, eats me and serves only your purpose
And it's a noise that won't be missed
I tire of such behaviour.
Though a wise man would never admit it.

Thursday, 18 April 2013

Reality

The last slivers of light race to the horizon
The air carries a chill that darkens the spirit
Across the hills beyond, the clouds roll every crease
And seem to dance as if at once possessed
Tall grasses bend their heads towards the earth
The breeze relentless on their backs
Like some miscreant bully without shame,
It traces your face, pulls your hair this way and that
Tears fall from chilled eyes that stand and stare
Trying to focus, watching the darkness winning the war
There before your feet in cold stone, the past.
You have to return to where you belong
The warmth, the light, the life, yet you are torn,
You turn and step away, first one step then another
But then pause, look back, at that cold stone
"Rest In Peace Dearest Father"
The deepest scars still raw as first encountered,
Yet peace must find it's place to dwell
Fear not the unknown threat of darkness
For in it's harshest depth,  light is always there behind you.



 

Wednesday, 17 April 2013

The vicious circle of terrorism.

Once again the world is left shocked and saddened at the senseless deaths of innocent people, this time bystanders doing nothing more than watching marathon runners cross over the finishing line in Boston MA. The sight of American people being slain on their own soil is one that rightly sickens every right minded civilian in that wonderful country and the rest of the free world, it defies belief and is the work of some very sick minded individuals.

Let me dare to play devil's advocate for a few moments however. Just what if this was a bomb blast in Iraq or Afghanistan in a crowded shopping precinct?. Would the impact on the world media be the same?. I doubt it. If this was downtown Kabul for instance would it be as big a media story?. My point here is this, if we in the West continue to bomb our ideas on to other cultures we will have to expect more ruthless attacks such as this.  For every person killed by a stray bomb or mistimed raid there is a legacy left that is unseen but now sometimes as now, very loudly heard. Every one of those victims, like the ones in Boston have relatives, be it parents, sisters, brothers etc and no matter how it is explained, 'friendly fire', 'a mistake', 'yes, but there were 5 insurgents killed',  the truth is they are dead and America and it's allies are deemed responsible. So what happens is, you turn sane minded religious people into hurting fanatics with a hate of everything the West stands for and that makes them very easy pickings for groups like Al-Quaeda to recruit.
Now I am not saying this was Al-Quaeda though i am sure they are a likely suspect, but if another country dropped bombs on your home and killed your wife and 3 daughters I am sure you would not be singing the Stars and Stripes or God save the Queen at the next available prayer meeting or writing a "deeply concerned" letter to the local rag, in fact no, you will react as only a grieving person would be almost forgiven for acting, fight violence with violence.
 If we as a race continue to kill and maim those that would fight against us then we can unfortunately expect to see more innocent people maimed and killed closer to home.
Northern Ireland was eventually brought to the negotiating table and although sometimes uneasy, the peace has lasted, mostly because of the will of the people to make it work. I wonder how many more Americans must be sacrificed on home soil before the people decide enough is enough and get their leaders to start meaningful talks?. No-one likes to work with terrorists but on the same level you cannot wipe out a man's family and expect him to turn a blind eye because you are trying to save democracy in his country, life will never work like that we take things at a personal level when they affect us directly.  At some point all this damned killing will have to stop and my guess is as in Britain's case with Ireland the country that is the most powerful will have to get the ball rolling

In terrorism there are no winners, it is the worst form of retaliation known to mankind, its ruthless, random and unforgiving, it strikes at the very core values we as Christians and civilised beings are brought up to respect,  the lives of innocent men women and children, which is why it is so abhorrent.  But do not lose sight of the families on the other side of the bomb and their suffering too, it may seem hard to be so charitable given the scenes in Boston over the last few hours but is it that much different to those who lie beneath the soil in a foreign land the victims of "friendly fire?" .  Food for thought for our political leaders it's probably enough to choke them on.
 I wish a speedy recovery to all those affected through mindless acts of terrorism.








Monday, 15 April 2013

The first paragraph..(unedited)



The first paragraph of the new book.. (unedited).


"The candle snuffed out, the darkness smothered the light in a battle that was lost before it had ever begun, Jake slid under the goose down duvet and pulled it right up to his chin, he could barely see out with his one eye buried in the soft pillow and his other staring into the dark abyss.  Jake looked across the room at where he knew his window should be and slowly as his one eye adjusted he could make out the huge window ledge and beyond that, appearing slowly was the moonlit countryside he knew so well.
As Jake lay there he could hear his parents talking in the kitchen below, he couldn’t make out what they were saying but it comforted the 7 year old to hear their low cut voices, his huge farmhouse bedroom was a very daunting place for such a youngster, not helped by the fact that just across the landing from his room he had witnessed his great granddad passing away in a gasp of sudden breath and blood curdling groans that would stick with this young farm boy for the rest of his days. Right now however, Jake was trying hard to not think about that, he needed sleep as sure as day follows night, for the next morning his Dad was expecting him downstairs at 6 am sharp to help feed stock and earn his keep.
The darkness slowly transformed its evil stare into a warm maternal smile that welcomed Jake into that sub-conscious world of dreams and adventures our imagination keeps in store for us, where inner thoughts that only your own soul would ever choose to create or dispel in dreams run wild are the norm rather than the exception."

Sunday, 14 April 2013

The Sunday Roast.

How interesting this week that Tony Blair, the great white hope of New Labour, installed alongside a fanfare of pop songs after a campaign slicker than one of Elvis Presley's discarded combs, now chooses to imitate all the previous heads of state that have led this country by taking a side swipe at the present leadership style.
One can only imagine the reaction in the Miliband camp when the news broke of Blairs outburst, poor Ed, or is it David? they are so hard to tell apart, must have wondered just what he has to do to get his party on his side, even during the week when the supposedly much reviled Margaret Thatcher dies he fails to capitalise because Blair steals his thunder, poor chap, I really do hope he doesn't take it personally after all it is the remit of all ex PM's to put on the rose tinted specs and still think they can make a difference, though if Brown starts to make a noise I think if I was Ed I would be asking brother David (or is it Ed ?) if there is room for a small one in his suitcase bound for America.

I am loathe to bring up the Thatcher subject again because it has been done to death, the rights and wrongs are written in real facts and if people bother to actually research those facts then they will discover a time of unrest and a definite need for a strong person at the helm, that said she eventually took her own views too far and I thought at the time, she was rightly removed from office, no one person should be allowed to ride rough shod over our country. I do however find it strangely unsettling that a parent who was not even alive during Thatchers terms in office should teach their four year old to chant " The witch is dead", apart from being in disgustingly poor taste whatever your political leanings it is also completely untrue, as apparently according to the President of Uruguay she is still in office in Argentina.

The world of politics is always and emotive one but it may surprise the wider population to know that many MP's from all sides do actually talk outside of Parliament and some are even indeed very close family friends, this has always been the case in varying degrees but it doesn't make for good press so it is rarely mentioned. If you compare that to the Trade Union movement then you will find it completely the opposite. You see without being too harsh on Union leaders and without trying to be condescending they lack the sense of humour and disparity that an MP has to have, they don't have to appeal to everyone, they just need to make the noises their members want to hear, Union people take everything so very very seriously and let's face it if it is written by Rupert Murdoch then it has to be true surely?.
Union people are obviously left wing, they hate people who have worked hard and have money or indeed anyone that has money, yet all too often they see no problem with feathering their own nests at their "brothers" expense, it is communism at it's very core, like the beginning of The Nile, it has to start somewhere.  They preach of the "evil" of the current leadership and offer a better life for "the workers" if they swear allegiance to their movement. It's a time honored practise and is nothing new but I fear for this country of ours if a strong Union leader springs on to the scene because we have no Kryptonite in Westminster to deal with it, communism relies on fear to govern and at the moment a lot of people are frightened, for their jobs and for their futures, it's a very dangerous path we walk and I don't think the present government is up to the task if there is a large swing to a charismatic well spoken left wing activist, did I mention Tony Blair had taken a side swipe at David, or is it Ed Miliband?.....

Enjoy your Sunday and remember life is short, not always sweet, but always worth living.








Nose to the grindstone

I have a book to write, it has come along in little bits and pieces but it cries for my undivided attention like an impatient baby cries for it's mother's breast.  I have been very unsettled over the past few weeks, life has been very unkind in many ways and I feel as though I am the ubiquitous "welcome" mat for everyone to come along and kick.
Having said that I am not looking for self pity, far from it, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  I do admit to feeling a little stunned sometimes at what life throws at me and wonder if its even self inflicted like some mysterious being that heads for the exit every time it is faced with opening the door to happiness.
Anyway, my book needs finishing and I intend to throw all those emotions that were so hard fought for in life into every page and if it does nothing other than lay to rest a few ghosts then it will have done it's job, but if a few of you buy it in between times even better.
  So, the message is that you lucky lot will be seeing and hearing a lot less of me on @davejames_ and FB etc as i strive to create an unhindered atmosphere in which to bury my head alongside an art that has captivated me since my school days,  but which life has always strived to deny me access to, be it when schooling or with work commitments.. so I am not disappearing forever, just long enough to complete  the book that i have promised for almost 18 months now and after all 18,000 Tweets shows a distinct lack of concentration on the real things in life.
Time to get my head down and give my poor parents something that they can one day hopefully be proud of me for, though for dad it will be 3 years too late.. you see, i scarcely get anything right.


Thursday, 11 April 2013

A cry for the silent majority

What a bunch of miserable, hypocritical, self pontificating, sniveling, ungrateful bunch we are here in the UK.
I honestly cannot for the life of me believe some of the rhetoric and poison I am hearing about a deceased Prime Minister of this country, let alone one of Margaret Thatchers stature.
I am sure if we dig deep enough we can make her solely responsible for Jesus being put on the cross, we could find her guilty for the eruption of the volcano that swallowed Pompeii and if we are quick about it, while the band wagon is rolling why don't we blame her for the war in Iraq and Afghanistan?. That woman is responsible for every common ailment that now strikes our very own communities, she has blighted our lives now and forevermore....hasn't she?. well... actually no.
 I think this Country wants a bloody good shake. A saint Maggie never was, granted, but she was a damn good politician and the only people muttering about her are those union obsessed lazy good for nothing loud mouths who tried and (thanks to Thatcher ) failed to bring this Country to its knees. The laziest mouths are always the loudest mouths as they have nothing else to do other than rip into those who are busy doing a job. The North South divide did happen, she was a ruthless business woman and she would not tolerate under performing in any area, we were all better off and she didn't almost bankrupt the country as the Labour party did over the previous 12 years..remember that little note to the new treasurer.." Haha..we have spent all the money, Good Luck", I would love to meet that little wimp in a dark alley just after i have written out and signed my last income tax cheque....
 Thatcher wasn't the anti-Christ, she was true blue for sure, but she gave opportunities for home ownership, she ripped apart public industries that were under performing, Maggie didn't shut Britain's Industry down, we bloody well did because the majority didn't want to work!. They wanted 35 hour weeks with £600 in their pockets so they could get legless all weekend while watching the football, how dare they stand up now and decry a woman who stood against the Argies, the Europeans and won 3 damned elections for which this country freely voted her. Oh and while I am at it, those wonderful "old school" Tory cabinet Ministers who served with her are retelling some wonderful anecdotes, I wonder just when one of them is going to wake up to the fact that they shafted her to save their own skins despite the fact she had NEVER lost an election.

 Far too often we are made to pander to loony left ideas and when Maggie came on the scene she was having none of it so instead of fighting fairly they exaggerated to the point of ridicule and demonised her.
I am a fair man, I am also a businessman. I can tell you now that living with Blair/Brown and now Cameron has given me the worst 15 years of my business life. They have not a single business minded fibre in their bodies, they have spent money they don't have and continue to this day to do the same. Maggie kept everyone in check, she wasn't perfect but she was a leader with a back bone, she said what the rest of Britain was thinking at the time, only those with something to hide had reason to moan and still they do, but unlike then, their voices are now to be heard shouting above a battle weary core of honest decent hard working Britons who can't even be bothered to vote such is their disdain for this shambolic bunch of public schoolboys we have as current leaders.

Well I for one will not be bullied into being disrespectful to a Prime Minister that held the hearts of the majority of this country for 3 elections and led us into a LEGAL war which she won. She pioneered privatisation and competition, she gave business people hope like no other politician had ever done and I  miss the straight talking no nonsense political scene she built up as opposed to the disaster that Blair and Brown led this Country to...how many times did Brown say "There will be no return to boom and bust" and which politician sold off the Gold reserves of this country at a time when it was at an all time low and lost enough in one fell swoop to have brought this country out of recession?.. oh yes, we have very short memories when we need to, but unlike those who would see Thatcher miss her chance for this Country to pay its respects I don't have a selective memory.

When Maggie is laid to rest it will mark the end of an era, anyone that see's it differently is entitled to their opinion, but just remember the UK is a democratic country and you are in the minority so we would all be quite happy if you just put up and shut up if you don't like it, because quite frankly you are starting to get annoying.









Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Life in the slower lane..

Reach for the light switch and it isn't there. Try and text your friend but the technology hasn't even be thought of yet. Ring on the land line, but there isn't one. Never mind,  pop to the kitchen and get a glass of water from the tap, but there isn't one of those either.. hopefully by now you are seeing a pattern emerging.
For my father growing up in the South Shropshire hill's this was the norm not the exception. They obtained water from a well 300 yards away from the house, there was never a telephone and candles provided the only light.  He was the eldest son of a methodist family who were strict chapel goers in fact his mother Clipsie Eileen played the organ on Sunday's. His father was called Heber, a big shouldered man tall in stature as well as being straight as a gun barrel in personality. He never borrowed or owed money in his life, it just wasn't done.

Heber worked a small farm under the Titterstone hill's in South Shropshire, he worked in a quarry to make ends meet and tended the horses that pulled the heavy carts in and out of the steep climb to the quarry face.
Life was tough and my dad, Caradoc Heber, yes that was his name, worked very hard in order for the family to survive.  No Wii, no X box, no computers, just his imagination and his beloved scooter he had for his 6th birthday was all that he had to amuse himself.
The strange thing is, he was no worse off than any of the spoiled teenagers or youngsters we have spawned nowadays, he used his mind to take him on far off journeys, he used his imagination to take him somewhere else, something the kids nowadays get done for them with the ubiquitous computer. What a shame, we give them iphones and Xbox like they are trophies simply because their friends have them. Why don't we restrict such games until after they are 18?. How great would it be that kids got to use their imaginations once more?.

..Perhaps then they might find out what it would be like to light a candle instead of flick a switch..









Tuesday, 9 April 2013

And on and on...

Just listening to the radio in bed this morning and obviously the main topic of conversation still emanates (unsurprisingly) around the death of Baroness Thatcher.
Some of the comments from the North East have been shall we say rather less than complimentary to put it very lightly, yet some have praised her single minded approach to problems of the day. That she was controversial is without question. She inherited a Country suffering Winter's of discontent where the greedy unions held us all to ransom for pay rises sometimes as much as 36% above inflation, they wanted less working hours and more pay, a fine state of affairs if you work for a company but not if you are the owners, who ultimately create the jobs.

Having slept on what has been said over the past 24 hours I actually am starting to wonder if it was actually Thatcher that instigated the downfall of our many nationalised industries or was she just the right person at the wrong time for greedy union bosses?. Was it not THEY who had pushed for more and more by striking at the worst possible times that actually played a part in their own downfall?. The country would have been bankrupted years ago if the likes of Scargill and "Red Robbo" had been allowed to carry on with their endless demands.
I think perhaps Thatcher actually stood up to these guys and said what she thought. I think also that she was in some cases too ruthless in destroying communities that were reliant on the industry she helped destroy but surely the blame has to be split with her and the crazy demands of fat cat union bosses who also sought power through bullying the country into submission.
I have to admit when she was in power, I as a youngster thought she was a no-nonsense and not to be messed with leader, she was afraid of no-one and yes we can all pick times during her premiership that she got it wrong or got caught out but may i just bring you fast forward to the ill-mannered, philandering bunch of expenses swindling lightweights we now have in power?. Never was there more need for a politician with stature to take on the rot in middle management that currently festers throughout the public sector. Where nurses scarcely have time to mop their brows while managers sit above them and dream up some other trumped up load of statistics designed to warrant their position,where we have Police commissioners on 150k a year who then appoint a deputy to do the donkey work for another 50k a year, where ambulance staff are stretched to breaking point to cover targets set by BMW X5 rewarded "managers" and make their job almost impossible, where the welfare system is so broken even attempted repairs are shot down before they reach the drawing board.
If you ask me the majority of tears for Margaret Thatchers death will come from the huge silent majority. Those who suffered at the hands of union bullies but dared not to speak, those that work hard for a living while seeing their taxes squandered on yet more hair-brained schemes, those that have a conscience for their country and fellow Briton, the true back bone of Britain,  not the noisy too often heard left wing committee members of a bygone dark age who argue and if they don't get their way resort to evil rhetoric.

Rightly or wrongly she stirred emotions and I am sure that will continue. But if we as a Country ever went into a LEGAL war just who would you want at the helm of the good ship HMS Great Britain?.

Have a great Tuesday.






















A lady or a Tramp?

Well, the Iron lady is no more. The very mention of Lady Thatcher's name brings about a level of conversation and debate that will never be seen again in this country.
She was reviled, hated, loved, hero worshipped, slanted, chastised moaned about yet admired immensely by World leaders she sat at the conference tables with, so what exactly did Maggie have and was she good for us or a disaster?
If you ask a Union member, she was the devil incarnate. She spawned the destruction of the likes of British Leyland and British Coal, she singularly and bloody mindedly took on the might of the Trade Unions and put them in their place, destroying their "strike first talk later" ability, however this all came at a price that some may say arguably began the disintegration of public companies like The Royal Mail, British Rail and British Coal as it was and even council services nationwide.  She believed that competition was vital for a thriving economy, but her plan was flawed somewhat by her "one plan fits all" mentality.
The truth is towards the end of her term in office she became over confident and that has been the downfall of many world class leaders. She believed her game plan was the immaculate conception and the trouble with Maggie was that her word was law in the cabinet at that time, it was a measure of the woman that she led what is arguably one of the most experienced cabinets there has been since the days of Churchill, she was blessed with a fountain of experienced and at first very loyal ministers yet when they started to turn away from her one by one the outcome was always going to be inevitable.
Much of the far left in this Country will be unsurprisingly jumping for joy tonight at the loss of their Nemesis The Baroness Thatcher,  but I for one have mixed emotions. first and foremost she was a Mother and a human being so her passing should first be a question of due dignity in death. Secondly, while she certainly put a free market in place that was to change the UK forever she was also instrumental in arranging a veto for the UK in Europe, something we have held on to in various guises since she was in power, she stood up for Britain against an ever expanding Eurozone and was defiant that a single monetary policy was pie in the sky, now that was the talk of a very switched on and very astute politician whatever your thoughts.

So, was she an Iron Lady?. I think the title was earned. This is in stark contrast to Tony Blair's "spin" and I know which one I would prefer, at least Thatcher gave it to you straight.  I still hold Blair's handing over of No.10 to his sidekick as an act tantamount to treason as he then sold our Gold reserves for a pittance, that did far more damage to the UK economy in one underhanded fell swoop than the destruction of the coal fields or any amount of privatisation ever could.
Food for thought and food indeed for the ongoing debate that will carry on for years to come such was the controversy of this woman... but for sure she was a woman of her time and I think overall we would have been a lesser Nation without her ideas and influence.









Sunday, 7 April 2013

Sunday Roast.

Well what a week that was, I must have been through every emotion on the planet. Being your own boss is a constant learning curve and if you think you know all the answers my advice would be to get out now while you still can.
The facts are, none of us know just how things will always pan out, even if we plan everything right down to the smallest detail, there is still a margin for error. That said it served a great purpose for me in particular. Having been brought almost to my knees with the workload, I have decided to take my life back. This coming week I will downsize some of the work we do and streamline the whole operation, sometimes less is more and in this case less is definitely good for my health. There is a limit to what one man can put up with and I came to that limit and beyond last week I don't mind saying.  Is there any shame in stepping back?. Well to me it makes good business sense and even more self preservation sense, but to the outside it may look like we are closing certain parts of the business because we are on the slippery slope. There is of course no way I can stop the rumours as we are located in a very rural town but it's something i am prepared to do to regain my sanity and THAT is what this is all about.
 It seems to me that despite all my aspirations in business I am losing the race because of the pace and i want to get back to the writing i so enjoy but get to do on a far too an irregular basis, I wish to spend more of my life exploring the wonderful literal world and do what so many of my good friends have been telling me to do for years and that is use my brains instead of my brawn.
Life is very short, but it can also be very fulfilling if you just dare to stop the band wagon, get off and look around. I have been running at such a ridiculous pace I have achieved very little other than try and make myself ill, clever uh?.

So, as i am writing this I am preparing to go off to the seaside with my beloved kids, the one thing in my life so far I have done right. We are going to sit and lounge around all day, something totally alien to me but I know if I try I am sure I can get a taste for. As for the business?, well yes it's busy but i will work through that in a timescale that is realistic and one that we are all capable of.
If I sound like a different man on here to those that know me then well, perhaps I may just be. I may just have realised what is really important in life and it's certainly not working myself into an early grave.
One last thing before I go for a lovely Sunday of God's making. A big thanks to all my true friends out there who tried so often to get me to change my ways, i have eventually listened and without your dogged persistence I may not have survived to tell the tale, I will love what you did for me forever, I look forward to chatting with you all an awful lot more in the future.
If you find yourself in the same boat and recognise some of my symptoms, do what your friends tell you, they are the ones who see you from the outside and as such know you best.

Enjoy your Sunday folks, I sure as hell will x





The Presentation.

I have been lucky enough to have had a very varied career, everything from a farm lad to a Calor Gas cooker and heater service engineer through to a truck driver and then a service and export manager for a machinery manufacturer. It was my exploits of the latter as you can imagine that made me smile on more than one occasion.
One such occasion saw me fly over to Schipol airport and then jump on to a hovercraft across to Malmo for a trip to a Swedish dealer who was very well known and did an excellent job for us with the quantity of machines they sold. I should have had the alarm bells ringing when half way across to Malmo as we sped along in the noisiest hovercraft ever, the venerable machine suddenly came to a halt, yes a halt.
Now, of course hovercrafts do actually float on water even with their skirts deflated, but I for one was not too keen to test that theory at that exact time. As the engines died down to a tick over there was the sound of footsteps from above as the "pilot" came nonchalantly whistling down the steps from his cabin, opened up the big front door and give it a huge "slam". With that he turned around, smiled at us all and still whistling jogged up the stairs and within minutes we were on our way, obviously now with the hovercraft door well and truly shut!.
On arrival at Malmo we were met by a very nice tall slender gent who picked us up in what was then the very latest Land Rover Discovery and off we went. We drove for about 40 odd miles through Sweden and I remember it was a rather beautiful place, very clean, neat but also very very cold, more of which later.
On arrival at the dealership we were greeted by the company's MD who was also a very tall elegant man who spoke wonderful English, I was very impressed with the whole outfit, everything was so wonderfully ergomatic in it's layout, the welcome was second to none we had ever had before and myself and the MD who accompanied me on this trip were made to feel very welcome.
The idea of the visit was for me to present a slide show to the area managers working for the company throughout Sweden, a task I admit i was relishing. We sat around a huge of table on which stood a stainless steel flask with a plethora of small stainless steel "over sized" thimbles or similar even to small egg cups.

I stood up and immediately fired in to my sales pitch, I was very young but i knew the machinery very well, having spent 3 months with our manufacturers building the equipment on the shop floor to give me a better idea of how it all worked. I answered a plethora of questions and soon it was made clear to me that i was to do a live demonstration of the machines after each explanation, something I had done many many times before, so no problem. Well, actually there was a little bit of a problem, you see in Sweden before you step outside into what turned out to be -17 degrees you have a little tipple which came courtesy of the flask set in the middle of the table. So, before we headed outside we were all handed this stainless thimble like container and all said "Schol" and tipped it straight back.   Perhaps I should explain right here and now that at 24 I wasn't a drinker or a smoker in fact i was a very good boy, but all the same I drank it and off we walked outside.
The cold chill air took my poor Anglo Saxon breath away, I was frozen and had to demonstrate a machine to the waiting crowd. Of course being the professional I was I carried out my task without question and we were soon once again climbing the stairs to the huge sales area where we were presenting the equipment.
This all went on for an hour or so as we had quite a range of machinery, but after each presentation we again drank from the stainless flask....
Now, I sense you are ahead of me a little here, we were getting towards the end of the presentation and after yet another sip from the cup "schol"  we were heading back out into the freezing temperatures. This steady mixture of warm buildings quickly followed by -17 degrees outside demonstrating equipment had started to take its toll, i was in effect becoming slightly "tiddly" much to my hosts amusement. I had a permanent stupid grin that i couldn't get rid off, I started cracking one liners that would empty a graveyard and even worse my MD was stood frowning in the back ground.
 By the time the presentation had ended I had warmed the room up to almost fever pitch and had the whole Swedish sales team rolling around the room in fits of laughter, most humor of which was aimed squarely at the machinery we were actually trying to sell!.
The end of the session arrived with yet another sip from the cup and all i can remember then was how warm it felt going all the way down, it was some very good stuff !.
We were thanked very warmly for our presentation and were soon on our way back to our hotel, we dined that night with the MD and he was as courteous as ever, despite me being obviously worse for wear after the days proceedings. Soon the evening was over and we caught the last ferry back to the "Magnus Steinbock" hotel in Amsterdam, feeling very weary and also because of the delicacy of Swedish food to our English palates also very very hungry.
We dumped our bags in the hotel and walked out on to the harbour streets of Copenhagen in search of some food, both of us by now quite desperate for some good old fashioned home cooking. Then before our very eyes on the high st by the harbour there it was, like an oasis in a dust filled desert, "The Hereford Steak Bar".
I can tell you we went in and filled our boots to the hilt whilst sat on authentic old oak benches and gorging on the most succulent sirloin steak i had ever tasted and even home made chips!.. heaven.

 On arrival back into the UK myself and the MD said our goodbyes and said we would meet first thing in the MD's office to discuss the visit. I have to admit I was not looking forward to listening to the report as getting potential customers to laugh along with you whilst describing the company's pride and joy isn't exactly what my MD had in mind when he initially sent me the job description, I did however think it had gone reasonably well despite the unorthodox nature of the presentation.
I walked into the offices on the Tuesday and was greeted with a few smirks from the commercial manager, he was always trying to score points so my guess was i was in for a bit of an ear roasting. Two of the UK area mangers for the company were there too and they were pretending to lie flat out across the desk in a drunk like manner. Just at the moment where i was starting to regret even turning up that morning the MD's door flung wide open and the gaffer was stood there with a cigar in his mouth and a big smile across his face, "how is my star salesman today? is your head better?" he shouted,
"errrr... well actually no" i quipped back
"It's damned sore".
"Well" said the MD "it's going to be even worse by the time we finish celebrating!"
and with that he gave me the fax document he had been holding and said
 "read!"
I glanced down and there was this lovely "thank you" paragraph from the Swedish company we visited, followed by a long list of our machines and a figure at the very bottom of the paper... £30,000 ... an awfully big order in 1990
It seems our presentation had done the trick after all. I was promoted from zero to hero in seconds.

But... to this day I still do NOT know what I was drinking. It did however do the trick!.



















Saturday, 6 April 2013

Don't put off until tomorrow...

The first real warm day for as long as I care to remember, that I even care to mention it underlines how long the winter has actually lasted in the UK. It's been a long haul and the inclement climate has only added to the woes of a faltering economy and bad news days every other day. One thing has changed this week for me however, after having listened intently to a radio programme describing the moments experienced by terminal cancer sufferers on their initial diagnosis i have had the comments and thoughts of those involved buzzing around my head ever since.
What if?, what if I was put in that position and was given months or even weeks to live?. The initial reaction would be to do everything that you had hoped to do and create a list so that you could mark them off one by one. That would be human nature, we take everything for granted until it is taken away or threatened, then we go into hyper-space to try and fit as much of what we will be missing in in half the time.
But the question that really made me sit down and think, well not so much a question more a statement came from a breast cancer sufferer who was diagnosed terminally a couple of years ago and is literally a ticking bomb, she said "why do we have to wait until we are diagnosed with a terminal illness before we actually start to live life".... and to be honest I cannot get that thought out of my head.
 What if our very next action after getting up from reading this is to actually start into motion some of the things we really do want to do? What is stopping us? duty?.. finance?... family? or just a feeling that you have years yet so you have loads of time to fit all those things in?.
Well I for one look at life a little differently after that programme, not a little unconnected to the sheer weight of work i have been getting through of late that has caused me physical and mental stress that cannot continue at it's current pace as it is making me ill.
I guess I am saying  to you all don't take life for granted  Never was "seize the day" more apt than in this maelstrom and cacophony of crazy working hours and on-time pressure that modern life spoon feeds us with continuously, it is time that all of us stepped back and gave ourselves time to live a little. I for one intend to start doing so and today with this wonderful warm sunshine it seems one hell of a good day to start.




Thursday, 4 April 2013

Free yourself.

Focusing on what is wrong with everything can leave you blinkered. Open your eyes to what you have and make better use of it, negative thoughts and actions will only make your life tougher and that of those around you, who will tire of your poor outlook, when it is the darkest it can get, light the way with the warmth of your smile and the light of your soul and you will find your way, no-one is ever lost completely, there is a way forward but only you and you alone can make that very first step.

A Seasoned Tale.

That I should walk that distant path
Through scented forests one more time
And hear the Nightingales laugh
Their song of Spring the perfect rhyme.

Be soaked in sunlit heaven's rays,
And thankful just for my existence
On such extraordinary day's
..Even I could last the distance.

Yet only fools dare seek perfection
Reality the dawn of reason
The land of Poets seeks protection
From inspiration's strangled treason

I cannot lie with those that taunt
Provide me now a world unreal
The likes of which forever haunts
The way i live, the way I feel

Bring sword unto my slumbered chamber
Fear not the deed that i request
For I shall only see my freedom
When sword is plunged deep in my chest

Don't weep a single tear in sorrow
As life just gently floats away
For truth is any new tomorrow
Will bring more promise than today.
 





Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Homecoming.

The room was dimly lit, a slither of late evening light drawn in by the setting sun lit the far wall of the room in a vertical line on the wall, slowly but surely the line got shorter and shorter as the sun slowly lowered it's head, a distant hum from a mixture of voices and trolleys could be heard in the background, the clatter of old central heating pipes shuddering under their boiling hot load seemed almost calming.  The room had a single bed in it, tucked up against the wall without the light, yet a warm glow came from the bed area as a small table top light gave of it's best. The bed was surrounded by wires, tubes, monitoring devices and all manner of paraphernalia congregated around the single person lay motionless under the bed clothes.

Andy lay still. He listened to the noises in the corridor, the central heating pipes,the creaking and groaning, he tried to make out some of the more muffled voices and what they were saying in the corridor, then he would drift off and forget where he was, but deep inside, a cry for help was continually going unanswered, the cries of the human spirit were being cut down like a Lioness strikes her prey to ensure her survival and that of her cubs, it ate at his very flesh and slowly day by day he was losing the warmth from within his bones to this ferocious unrelenting disease, it paid no heed to creed or colour, it simply moved onwards like an army the size of which we could never imagine, like that of a giant's foot that would quell those that dare disturb his vengeful path.  Andy grew weak, his eyes reddened and his face a pale shadow of what was once the glow of youth and all it had to offer. The cancer within Andy was winning. The faceless beast that plays chemical warfare on our bodies had taken hold of Andy and was systematically shutting him down, like a favourite timepiece now forgotten  that slows then eventually stops.
The tick tock of Andy's final hours had begun, he grew weaker and weaker from the drugs that had actually tried to save him, one last bitter irony of this uncaring dragon of a disease. The door to the room slowly clicked and opened, Andy moved just his eyes, he hadn't the energy to move his head . There in front of him stood his wife Sarah and as the door opened wider two little faces could just be made out peering around the corner of Sarah's dress, it was Andy's two daughters Jazzy and Mia, their bright wide eyed smiles in contrast to the pale slowly poisoned body that Andy inhabited, despite this a smile drew across Andy's face as the two little girls' ran towards him and as kid's always do jumped on the bed and kissed and hugged their Dad, Andy winced from the immediate pain he felt from their not so soft landing on his poor broken body, but he didn't let it show.
"Daddy!" came the shout from them both,  they began to talk about what their day had entailed, about what Gran had bought them and how great their new Lego video game was.. but through all this Andy had noticed his beloved wife of 12 years Sarah talking to a Doctor to the one side of the room as the children continued their recital of the day's proceedings, the Doctor was slowly shaking his head and looking to his feet, Sarah's face was angst and a tear was methodically wiped from her eye out of the children's view with military precision, so as not to make them aware of their father's plight.
The conversation stopped and the Dr left the room, Andy was feeling very sleepy now, his two lovely youngsters were becoming a bit of a blur, Andy tried desperately to keep his focus on his beloved Sarah but the sheer hard work of keeping his eyes open was too much for him to overcome as desperate as he was to chat and listen to his two little girls he could keep his eyes open no longer.
 At that point, though he didn't know it, Andy was gone.
 That unforgiving disease that knows no earthly boundaries had used it's full arsenal of weapons on Andy and had taken yet another poor soul from this Earth, yet in such bitter twist of irony he had ensured it's own demise at the same time, as by dying Andy had at last won the battle, but lost the war.
The room fell silent, the two little girls slid off the bed as Mummy said "Daddy wanted to sleep now", another strategically hidden tear rolled down Mummy's face, this time it was much harder to get away with. They left the room and the door closed with a clunk.
On the far wall the long strip of light emulated the room's only occupant by slowly being engulfed by the darkness, much as Andy had been engulfed by that dreadful disease. Then, save for the odd footsteps outside and the sound of central heating pipes still carrying out their noisy task, the room fell silent.







Monday, 1 April 2013

Partners in time.

No man is an Island.  Wise words indeed, but equally true about the fairer sex, coping on your own with anything, big or small is made all the more tough by doing it single handed.  So why is it that so many couples split these days and then try and make sense of their lives afterwards?. Surely it would be simpler to work through issues before they became major issues?.
If only life were that simple.
The pace of life dictates how much time you actually get to sit down and chat with your spouse/partner and the facts are that life's pace at its present level for many is unsustainable, so despite all their best intentions couples will split simply because they do not get the quality of time together that sustains a relationship.
Many years ago the two day weekend was a fact. No-one worked on Saturdays except emergency services and shift workers of which there were few, but at the present moment in time Saturday's are carte blanche with the odd Sunday or two thrown in for good measure.
This scenario leads to overwork, tiredness, pressure and even guilt for not being with your off-spring etc. In turn the partner at home can feel isolated and alone and also have such thoughts as "they love work more than me", it is human nature and it is contributing to many rocky patches and break-ups quite simply because no-one gets time to actually talk.
As a society, we are all guilty of wanting 24 hour access to all amenities, we want petrol/diesel, groceries,clothes,tires,cars etc etc so in turn shops employ at the weekend, traditionally the sacrosanct family time, but it's now been eaten away by our 24 hour need for items and the more we employ the less family time we get, the more pressure we get on relationships and family units, its a vicious circle.
Do I have the answer?.. absolutely not, as I too have to work very hard to make ends meet and as such I find myself sat alone writing to everyone about this subject in an empty house on Easter Sunday, a victim of the very needs i have just spoken of, having not seen my off-spring for days the very afternoon I am free they are with the in-laws because they issued a decree for lunch that is rarely ignored. Can I blame her? no not really, all we see of one another is hello-goodbye, so she is hardly going to sit and wait at home for me to return as and when. So, as you see, I have no answer to the stresses on family life that the burden of 24 hour work brings upon us, but one thing I am sure about and that is that as long as we keep increasing the work load on those that will actually work hard for a living the more marriage problems will occur and no matter what politicians preach, those facts won't change, we are caught in a hamster's wheel of misfortune. I am now going to make myself a cup of coffee, grab some toast for lunch and try and take things easy for at least an afternoon as tomorrow (you guessed it) it may be a bank holiday but i have to work and so the cycle continues.... if i make it to old age perhaps i may write a book about it.