The vicious circle of terrorism.

Once again the world is left shocked and saddened at the senseless deaths of innocent people, this time bystanders doing nothing more than watching marathon runners cross over the finishing line in Boston MA. The sight of American people being slain on their own soil is one that rightly sickens every right minded civilian in that wonderful country and the rest of the free world, it defies belief and is the work of some very sick minded individuals.

Let me dare to play devil's advocate for a few moments however. Just what if this was a bomb blast in Iraq or Afghanistan in a crowded shopping precinct?. Would the impact on the world media be the same?. I doubt it. If this was downtown Kabul for instance would it be as big a media story?. My point here is this, if we in the West continue to bomb our ideas on to other cultures we will have to expect more ruthless attacks such as this.  For every person killed by a stray bomb or mistimed raid there is a legacy left that is unseen but now sometimes as now, very loudly heard. Every one of those victims, like the ones in Boston have relatives, be it parents, sisters, brothers etc and no matter how it is explained, 'friendly fire', 'a mistake', 'yes, but there were 5 insurgents killed',  the truth is they are dead and America and it's allies are deemed responsible. So what happens is, you turn sane minded religious people into hurting fanatics with a hate of everything the West stands for and that makes them very easy pickings for groups like Al-Quaeda to recruit.
Now I am not saying this was Al-Quaeda though i am sure they are a likely suspect, but if another country dropped bombs on your home and killed your wife and 3 daughters I am sure you would not be singing the Stars and Stripes or God save the Queen at the next available prayer meeting or writing a "deeply concerned" letter to the local rag, in fact no, you will react as only a grieving person would be almost forgiven for acting, fight violence with violence.
 If we as a race continue to kill and maim those that would fight against us then we can unfortunately expect to see more innocent people maimed and killed closer to home.
Northern Ireland was eventually brought to the negotiating table and although sometimes uneasy, the peace has lasted, mostly because of the will of the people to make it work. I wonder how many more Americans must be sacrificed on home soil before the people decide enough is enough and get their leaders to start meaningful talks?. No-one likes to work with terrorists but on the same level you cannot wipe out a man's family and expect him to turn a blind eye because you are trying to save democracy in his country, life will never work like that we take things at a personal level when they affect us directly.  At some point all this damned killing will have to stop and my guess is as in Britain's case with Ireland the country that is the most powerful will have to get the ball rolling

In terrorism there are no winners, it is the worst form of retaliation known to mankind, its ruthless, random and unforgiving, it strikes at the very core values we as Christians and civilised beings are brought up to respect,  the lives of innocent men women and children, which is why it is so abhorrent.  But do not lose sight of the families on the other side of the bomb and their suffering too, it may seem hard to be so charitable given the scenes in Boston over the last few hours but is it that much different to those who lie beneath the soil in a foreign land the victims of "friendly fire?" .  Food for thought for our political leaders it's probably enough to choke them on.
 I wish a speedy recovery to all those affected through mindless acts of terrorism.

The first paragraph..(unedited)

The first paragraph of the new book.. (unedited).

"The candle snuffed out, the darkness smothered the light in a battle that was lost before it had ever begun, Jake slid under the goose down duvet and pulled it right up to his chin, he could barely see out with his one eye buried in the soft pillow and his other staring into the dark abyss.  Jake looked across the room at where he knew his window should be and slowly as his one eye adjusted he could make out the huge window ledge and beyond that, appearing slowly was the moonlit countryside he knew so well.

As Jake lay there he could hear his parents talking in the kitchen below, he couldn’t make out what they were saying but it comforted the 7 year old to hear their low cut voices, his huge farmhouse bedroom was a very daunting place for such a youngster, not helped by the fact that just across the landing from his room he had witnessed his great granddad passing away in a gasp of sudden breath and blood curdling groans that would stick with this young farm boy for the rest of his days. Right now however, Jake was trying hard to not think about that, he needed sleep as sure as day follows night, for the next morning his Dad was expecting him downstairs at 6 am sharp to help feed stock and earn his keep.

The darkness slowly transformed its evil stare into a warm maternal smile that welcomed Jake into that sub-conscious world of dreams and adventures our imagination keeps in store for us, where inner thoughts that only your own soul would ever choose to create or dispel in dreams run wild are the norm rather than the exception."

The Sunday Roast.

How interesting this week that Tony Blair, the great white hope of New Labour, installed alongside a fanfare of pop songs after a campaign slicker than one of Elvis Presley's discarded combs, now chooses to imitate all the previous heads of state that have led this country by taking a side swipe at the present leadership style.
One can only imagine the reaction in the Miliband camp when the news broke of Blairs outburst, poor Ed, or is it David? they are so hard to tell apart, must have wondered just what he has to do to get his party on his side, even during the week when the supposedly much reviled Margaret Thatcher dies he fails to capitalise because Blair steals his thunder, poor chap, I really do hope he doesn't take it personally after all it is the remit of all ex PM's to put on the rose tinted specs and still think they can make a difference, though if Brown starts to make a noise I think if I was Ed I would be asking brother David (or is it Ed ?) if there is room for a small one in his suitcase bound for America.

I am loathe to bring up the Thatcher subject again because it has been done to death, the rights and wrongs are written in real facts and if people bother to actually research those facts then they will discover a time of unrest and a definite need for a strong person at the helm, that said she eventually took her own views too far and I thought at the time, she was rightly removed from office, no one person should be allowed to ride rough shod over our country. I do however find it strangely unsettling that a parent who was not even alive during Thatchers terms in office should teach their four year old to chant " The witch is dead", apart from being in disgustingly poor taste whatever your political leanings it is also completely untrue, as apparently according to the President of Uruguay she is still in office in Argentina.

The world of politics is always and emotive one but it may surprise the wider population to know that many MP's from all sides do actually talk outside of Parliament and some are even indeed very close family friends, this has always been the case in varying degrees but it doesn't make for good press so it is rarely mentioned. If you compare that to the Trade Union movement then you will find it completely the opposite. You see without being too harsh on Union leaders and without trying to be condescending they lack the sense of humour and disparity that an MP has to have, they don't have to appeal to everyone, they just need to make the noises their members want to hear, Union people take everything so very very seriously and let's face it if it is written by Rupert Murdoch then it has to be true surely?.
Union people are obviously left wing, they hate people who have worked hard and have money or indeed anyone that has money, yet all too often they see no problem with feathering their own nests at their "brothers" expense, it is communism at it's very core, like the beginning of The Nile, it has to start somewhere.  They preach of the "evil" of the current leadership and offer a better life for "the workers" if they swear allegiance to their movement. It's a time honored practise and is nothing new but I fear for this country of ours if a strong Union leader springs on to the scene because we have no Kryptonite in Westminster to deal with it, communism relies on fear to govern and at the moment a lot of people are frightened, for their jobs and for their futures, it's a very dangerous path we walk and I don't think the present government is up to the task if there is a large swing to a charismatic well spoken left wing activist, did I mention Tony Blair had taken a side swipe at David, or is it Ed Miliband?.....

Enjoy your Sunday and remember life is short, not always sweet, but always worth living.

Nose to the grindstone

I have a book to write, it has come along in little bits and pieces but it cries for my undivided attention like an impatient baby cries for it's mother's breast.  I have been very unsettled over the past few weeks, life has been very unkind in many ways and I feel as though I am the ubiquitous "welcome" mat for everyone to come along and kick.
Having said that I am not looking for self pity, far from it, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  I do admit to feeling a little stunned sometimes at what life throws at me and wonder if its even self inflicted like some mysterious being that heads for the exit every time it is faced with opening the door to happiness.
Anyway, my book needs finishing and I intend to throw all those emotions that were so hard fought for in life into every page and if it does nothing other than lay to rest a few ghosts then it will have done it's job, but if a few of you buy it in between times even better.
  So, the message is that you lucky lot will be seeing and hearing a lot less of me on @davejames_ and FB etc as i strive to create an unhindered atmosphere in which to bury my head alongside an art that has captivated me since my school days,  but which life has always strived to deny me access to, be it when schooling or with work commitments.. so I am not disappearing forever, just long enough to complete  the book that i have promised for almost 18 months now and after all 18,000 Tweets shows a distinct lack of concentration on the real things in life.
Time to get my head down and give my poor parents something that they can one day hopefully be proud of me for, though for dad it will be 3 years too late.. you see, i scarcely get anything right.

A cry for the silent majority

What a bunch of miserable, hypocritical, self pontificating, sniveling, ungrateful bunch we are here in the UK.
I honestly cannot for the life of me believe some of the rhetoric and poison I am hearing about a deceased Prime Minister of this country, let alone one of Margaret Thatchers stature.
I am sure if we dig deep enough we can make her solely responsible for Jesus being put on the cross, we could find her guilty for the eruption of the volcano that swallowed Pompeii and if we are quick about it, while the band wagon is rolling why don't we blame her for the war in Iraq and Afghanistan?. That woman is responsible for every common ailment that now strikes our very own communities, she has blighted our lives now and forevermore....hasn't she?. well... actually no.
 I think this Country wants a bloody good shake. A saint Maggie never was, granted, but she was a damn good politician and the only people muttering about her are those union obsessed lazy good for nothing loud mouths who tried and (thanks to Thatcher ) failed to bring this Country to its knees. The laziest mouths are always the loudest mouths as they have nothing else to do other than rip into those who are busy doing a job. The North South divide did happen, she was a ruthless business woman and she would not tolerate under performing in any area, we were all better off and she didn't almost bankrupt the country as the Labour party did over the previous 12 years..remember that little note to the new treasurer.." Haha..we have spent all the money, Good Luck", I would love to meet that little wimp in a dark alley just after i have written out and signed my last income tax cheque....
 Thatcher wasn't the anti-Christ, she was true blue for sure, but she gave opportunities for home ownership, she ripped apart public industries that were under performing, Maggie didn't shut Britain's Industry down, we bloody well did because the majority didn't want to work!. They wanted 35 hour weeks with £600 in their pockets so they could get legless all weekend while watching the football, how dare they stand up now and decry a woman who stood against the Argies, the Europeans and won 3 damned elections for which this country freely voted her. Oh and while I am at it, those wonderful "old school" Tory cabinet Ministers who served with her are retelling some wonderful anecdotes, I wonder just when one of them is going to wake up to the fact that they shafted her to save their own skins despite the fact she had NEVER lost an election.

 Far too often we are made to pander to loony left ideas and when Maggie came on the scene she was having none of it so instead of fighting fairly they exaggerated to the point of ridicule and demonised her.
I am a fair man, I am also a businessman. I can tell you now that living with Blair/Brown and now Cameron has given me the worst 15 years of my business life. They have not a single business minded fibre in their bodies, they have spent money they don't have and continue to this day to do the same. Maggie kept everyone in check, she wasn't perfect but she was a leader with a back bone, she said what the rest of Britain was thinking at the time, only those with something to hide had reason to moan and still they do, but unlike then, their voices are now to be heard shouting above a battle weary core of honest decent hard working Britons who can't even be bothered to vote such is their disdain for this shambolic bunch of public schoolboys we have as current leaders.

Well I for one will not be bullied into being disrespectful to a Prime Minister that held the hearts of the majority of this country for 3 elections and led us into a LEGAL war which she won. She pioneered privatisation and competition, she gave business people hope like no other politician had ever done and I  miss the straight talking no nonsense political scene she built up as opposed to the disaster that Blair and Brown led this Country to...how many times did Brown say "There will be no return to boom and bust" and which politician sold off the Gold reserves of this country at a time when it was at an all time low and lost enough in one fell swoop to have brought this country out of recession?.. oh yes, we have very short memories when we need to, but unlike those who would see Thatcher miss her chance for this Country to pay its respects I don't have a selective memory.

When Maggie is laid to rest it will mark the end of an era, anyone that see's it differently is entitled to their opinion, but just remember the UK is a democratic country and you are in the minority so we would all be quite happy if you just put up and shut up if you don't like it, because quite frankly you are starting to get annoying.

Life in the slower lane..

Reach for the light switch and it isn't there. Try and text your friend but the technology hasn't even be thought of yet. Ring on the land line, but there isn't one. Never mind,  pop to the kitchen and get a glass of water from the tap, but there isn't one of those either.. hopefully by now you are seeing a pattern emerging.
For my father growing up in the South Shropshire hill's this was the norm not the exception. They obtained water from a well 300 yards away from the house, there was never a telephone and candles provided the only light.  He was the eldest son of a methodist family who were strict chapel goers in fact his mother Clipsie Eileen played the organ on Sunday's. His father was called Heber, a big shouldered man tall in stature as well as being straight as a gun barrel in personality. He never borrowed or owed money in his life, it just wasn't done.

Heber worked a small farm under the Titterstone hill's in South Shropshire, he worked in a quarry to make ends meet and tended the horses that pulled the heavy carts in and out of the steep climb to the quarry face.
Life was tough and my dad, Caradoc Heber, yes that was his name, worked very hard in order for the family to survive.  No Wii, no X box, no computers, just his imagination and his beloved scooter he had for his 6th birthday was all that he had to amuse himself.
The strange thing is, he was no worse off than any of the spoiled teenagers or youngsters we have spawned nowadays, he used his mind to take him on far off journeys, he used his imagination to take him somewhere else, something the kids nowadays get done for them with the ubiquitous computer. What a shame, we give them iphones and Xbox like they are trophies simply because their friends have them. Why don't we restrict such games until after they are 18?. How great would it be that kids got to use their imaginations once more?.

..Perhaps then they might find out what it would be like to light a candle instead of flick a switch..

And on and on...

Just listening to the radio in bed this morning and obviously the main topic of conversation still emanates (unsurprisingly) around the death of Baroness Thatcher.
Some of the comments from the North East have been shall we say rather less than complimentary to put it very lightly, yet some have praised her single minded approach to problems of the day. That she was controversial is without question. She inherited a Country suffering Winter's of discontent where the greedy unions held us all to ransom for pay rises sometimes as much as 36% above inflation, they wanted less working hours and more pay, a fine state of affairs if you work for a company but not if you are the owners, who ultimately create the jobs.

Having slept on what has been said over the past 24 hours I actually am starting to wonder if it was actually Thatcher that instigated the downfall of our many nationalised industries or was she just the right person at the wrong time for greedy union bosses?. Was it not THEY who had pushed for more and more by striking at the worst possible times that actually played a part in their own downfall?. The country would have been bankrupted years ago if the likes of Scargill and "Red Robbo" had been allowed to carry on with their endless demands.
I think perhaps Thatcher actually stood up to these guys and said what she thought. I think also that she was in some cases too ruthless in destroying communities that were reliant on the industry she helped destroy but surely the blame has to be split with her and the crazy demands of fat cat union bosses who also sought power through bullying the country into submission.
I have to admit when she was in power, I as a youngster thought she was a no-nonsense and not to be messed with leader, she was afraid of no-one and yes we can all pick times during her premiership that she got it wrong or got caught out but may i just bring you fast forward to the ill-mannered, philandering bunch of expenses swindling lightweights we now have in power?. Never was there more need for a politician with stature to take on the rot in middle management that currently festers throughout the public sector. Where nurses scarcely have time to mop their brows while managers sit above them and dream up some other trumped up load of statistics designed to warrant their position,where we have Police commissioners on 150k a year who then appoint a deputy to do the donkey work for another 50k a year, where ambulance staff are stretched to breaking point to cover targets set by BMW X5 rewarded "managers" and make their job almost impossible, where the welfare system is so broken even attempted repairs are shot down before they reach the drawing board.
If you ask me the majority of tears for Margaret Thatchers death will come from the huge silent majority. Those who suffered at the hands of union bullies but dared not to speak, those that work hard for a living while seeing their taxes squandered on yet more hair-brained schemes, those that have a conscience for their country and fellow Briton, the true back bone of Britain,  not the noisy too often heard left wing committee members of a bygone dark age who argue and if they don't get their way resort to evil rhetoric.

Rightly or wrongly she stirred emotions and I am sure that will continue. But if we as a Country ever went into a LEGAL war just who would you want at the helm of the good ship HMS Great Britain?.

Have a great Tuesday.

A lady or a Tramp?

Well, the Iron lady is no more. The very mention of Lady Thatcher's name brings about a level of conversation and debate that will never be seen again in this country.
She was reviled, hated, loved, hero worshipped, slanted, chastised moaned about yet admired immensely by World leaders she sat at the conference tables with, so what exactly did Maggie have and was she good for us or a disaster?
If you ask a Union member, she was the devil incarnate. She spawned the destruction of the likes of British Leyland and British Coal, she singularly and bloody mindedly took on the might of the Trade Unions and put them in their place, destroying their "strike first talk later" ability, however this all came at a price that some may say arguably began the disintegration of public companies like The Royal Mail, British Rail and British Coal as it was and even council services nationwide.  She believed that competition was vital for a thriving economy, but her plan was flawed somewhat by her "one plan fits all" mentality.
The truth is towards the end of her term in office she became over confident and that has been the downfall of many world class leaders. She believed her game plan was the immaculate conception and the trouble with Maggie was that her word was law in the cabinet at that time, it was a measure of the woman that she led what is arguably one of the most experienced cabinets there has been since the days of Churchill, she was blessed with a fountain of experienced and at first very loyal ministers yet when they started to turn away from her one by one the outcome was always going to be inevitable.
Much of the far left in this Country will be unsurprisingly jumping for joy tonight at the loss of their Nemesis The Baroness Thatcher,  but I for one have mixed emotions. first and foremost she was a Mother and a human being so her passing should first be a question of due dignity in death. Secondly, while she certainly put a free market in place that was to change the UK forever she was also instrumental in arranging a veto for the UK in Europe, something we have held on to in various guises since she was in power, she stood up for Britain against an ever expanding Eurozone and was defiant that a single monetary policy was pie in the sky, now that was the talk of a very switched on and very astute politician whatever your thoughts.

So, was she an Iron Lady?. I think the title was earned. This is in stark contrast to Tony Blair's "spin" and I know which one I would prefer, at least Thatcher gave it to you straight.  I still hold Blair's handing over of No.10 to his sidekick as an act tantamount to treason as he then sold our Gold reserves for a pittance, that did far more damage to the UK economy in one underhanded fell swoop than the destruction of the coal fields or any amount of privatisation ever could.
Food for thought and food indeed for the ongoing debate that will carry on for years to come such was the controversy of this woman... but for sure she was a woman of her time and I think overall we would have been a lesser Nation without her ideas and influence.

Sunday Roast.

Well what a week that was, I must have been through every emotion on the planet. Being your own boss is a constant learning curve and if you think you know all the answers my advice would be to get out now while you still can.
The facts are, none of us know just how things will always pan out, even if we plan everything right down to the smallest detail, there is still a margin for error. That said it served a great purpose for me in particular. Having been brought almost to my knees with the workload, I have decided to take my life back. This coming week I will downsize some of the work we do and streamline the whole operation, sometimes less is more and in this case less is definitely good for my health. There is a limit to what one man can put up with and I came to that limit and beyond last week I don't mind saying.  Is there any shame in stepping back?. Well to me it makes good business sense and even more self preservation sense, but to the outside it may look like we are closing certain parts of the business because we are on the slippery slope. There is of course no way I can stop the rumours as we are located in a very rural town but it's something i am prepared to do to regain my sanity and THAT is what this is all about.
 It seems to me that despite all my aspirations in business I am losing the race because of the pace and i want to get back to the writing i so enjoy but get to do on a far too an irregular basis, I wish to spend more of my life exploring the wonderful literal world and do what so many of my good friends have been telling me to do for years and that is use my brains instead of my brawn.
Life is very short, but it can also be very fulfilling if you just dare to stop the band wagon, get off and look around. I have been running at such a ridiculous pace I have achieved very little other than try and make myself ill, clever uh?.

So, as i am writing this I am preparing to go off to the seaside with my beloved kids, the one thing in my life so far I have done right. We are going to sit and lounge around all day, something totally alien to me but I know if I try I am sure I can get a taste for. As for the business?, well yes it's busy but i will work through that in a timescale that is realistic and one that we are all capable of.
If I sound like a different man on here to those that know me then well, perhaps I may just be. I may just have realised what is really important in life and it's certainly not working myself into an early grave.
One last thing before I go for a lovely Sunday of God's making. A big thanks to all my true friends out there who tried so often to get me to change my ways, i have eventually listened and without your dogged persistence I may not have survived to tell the tale, I will love what you did for me forever, I look forward to chatting with you all an awful lot more in the future.
If you find yourself in the same boat and recognise some of my symptoms, do what your friends tell you, they are the ones who see you from the outside and as such know you best.

Enjoy your Sunday folks, I sure as hell will x

The Presentation.

I have been lucky enough to have had a very varied career, everything from a farm lad to a Calor Gas cooker and heater service engineer through to a truck driver and then a service and export manager for a machinery manufacturer. It was my exploits of the latter as you can imagine that made me smile on more than one occasion.
One such occasion saw me fly over to Schipol airport and then jump on to a hovercraft across to Malmo for a trip to a Swedish dealer who was very well known and did an excellent job for us with the quantity of machines they sold. I should have had the alarm bells ringing when half way across to Malmo as we sped along in the noisiest hovercraft ever, the venerable machine suddenly came to a halt, yes a halt.
Now, of course hovercrafts do actually float on water even with their skirts deflated, but I for one was not too keen to test that theory at that exact time. As the engines died down to a tick over there was the sound of footsteps from above as the "pilot" came nonchalantly whistling down the steps from his cabin, opened up the big front door and give it a huge "slam". With that he turned around, smiled at us all and still whistling jogged up the stairs and within minutes we were on our way, obviously now with the hovercraft door well and truly shut!.
On arrival at Malmo we were met by a very nice tall slender gent who picked us up in what was then the very latest Land Rover Discovery and off we went. We drove for about 40 odd miles through Sweden and I remember it was a rather beautiful place, very clean, neat but also very very cold, more of which later.
On arrival at the dealership we were greeted by the company's MD who was also a very tall elegant man who spoke wonderful English, I was very impressed with the whole outfit, everything was so wonderfully ergomatic in it's layout, the welcome was second to none we had ever had before and myself and the MD who accompanied me on this trip were made to feel very welcome.
The idea of the visit was for me to present a slide show to the area managers working for the company throughout Sweden, a task I admit i was relishing. We sat around a huge of table on which stood a stainless steel flask with a plethora of small stainless steel "over sized" thimbles or similar even to small egg cups.

I stood up and immediately fired in to my sales pitch, I was very young but i knew the machinery very well, having spent 3 months with our manufacturers building the equipment on the shop floor to give me a better idea of how it all worked. I answered a plethora of questions and soon it was made clear to me that i was to do a live demonstration of the machines after each explanation, something I had done many many times before, so no problem. Well, actually there was a little bit of a problem, you see in Sweden before you step outside into what turned out to be -17 degrees you have a little tipple which came courtesy of the flask set in the middle of the table. So, before we headed outside we were all handed this stainless thimble like container and all said "Schol" and tipped it straight back.   Perhaps I should explain right here and now that at 24 I wasn't a drinker or a smoker in fact i was a very good boy, but all the same I drank it and off we walked outside.
The cold chill air took my poor Anglo Saxon breath away, I was frozen and had to demonstrate a machine to the waiting crowd. Of course being the professional I was I carried out my task without question and we were soon once again climbing the stairs to the huge sales area where we were presenting the equipment.
This all went on for an hour or so as we had quite a range of machinery, but after each presentation we again drank from the stainless flask....
Now, I sense you are ahead of me a little here, we were getting towards the end of the presentation and after yet another sip from the cup "schol"  we were heading back out into the freezing temperatures. This steady mixture of warm buildings quickly followed by -17 degrees outside demonstrating equipment had started to take its toll, i was in effect becoming slightly "tiddly" much to my hosts amusement. I had a permanent stupid grin that i couldn't get rid off, I started cracking one liners that would empty a graveyard and even worse my MD was stood frowning in the back ground.
 By the time the presentation had ended I had warmed the room up to almost fever pitch and had the whole Swedish sales team rolling around the room in fits of laughter, most humor of which was aimed squarely at the machinery we were actually trying to sell!.
The end of the session arrived with yet another sip from the cup and all i can remember then was how warm it felt going all the way down, it was some very good stuff !.
We were thanked very warmly for our presentation and were soon on our way back to our hotel, we dined that night with the MD and he was as courteous as ever, despite me being obviously worse for wear after the days proceedings. Soon the evening was over and we caught the last ferry back to the "Magnus Steinbock" hotel in Amsterdam, feeling very weary and also because of the delicacy of Swedish food to our English palates also very very hungry.
We dumped our bags in the hotel and walked out on to the harbour streets of Copenhagen in search of some food, both of us by now quite desperate for some good old fashioned home cooking. Then before our very eyes on the high st by the harbour there it was, like an oasis in a dust filled desert, "The Hereford Steak Bar".
I can tell you we went in and filled our boots to the hilt whilst sat on authentic old oak benches and gorging on the most succulent sirloin steak i had ever tasted and even home made chips!.. heaven.

 On arrival back into the UK myself and the MD said our goodbyes and said we would meet first thing in the MD's office to discuss the visit. I have to admit I was not looking forward to listening to the report as getting potential customers to laugh along with you whilst describing the company's pride and joy isn't exactly what my MD had in mind when he initially sent me the job description, I did however think it had gone reasonably well despite the unorthodox nature of the presentation.
I walked into the offices on the Tuesday and was greeted with a few smirks from the commercial manager, he was always trying to score points so my guess was i was in for a bit of an ear roasting. Two of the UK area mangers for the company were there too and they were pretending to lie flat out across the desk in a drunk like manner. Just at the moment where i was starting to regret even turning up that morning the MD's door flung wide open and the gaffer was stood there with a cigar in his mouth and a big smile across his face, "how is my star salesman today? is your head better?" he shouted,
"errrr... well actually no" i quipped back
"It's damned sore".
"Well" said the MD "it's going to be even worse by the time we finish celebrating!"
and with that he gave me the fax document he had been holding and said
 "read!"
I glanced down and there was this lovely "thank you" paragraph from the Swedish company we visited, followed by a long list of our machines and a figure at the very bottom of the paper... £30,000 ... an awfully big order in 1990
It seems our presentation had done the trick after all. I was promoted from zero to hero in seconds.

But... to this day I still do NOT know what I was drinking. It did however do the trick!.