Negative thoughts.

A dance without a rhythm
A song that's left unsung
A heart that's never given
Refusing to be won

A night that never see's the dawn
A love that's not returned
The soul that wonders so forlorn
From lesson's never learned

A cry for help unheeded
That echoes through the mist
A friend when they are needed
So often dearly missed

The weight of expectation
A transient that stays
So pay them no attention
Just keep below their gaze.

























 

The End Of Time.

The old clock on the wall made an almost 'clunk like' noise as the pendulum swung side to side, the thick layer of dust across every flat surface of it's design made it look as if the mahogany had faded in the bright sunlight, the dial was a pale yellow instead of golden yellow and parts of the Roman style numbers had almost faded beyond recognition, the brass pendulum was tainted black through years of neglect, the lock on the cabinet where the key was placed to rewind this worn time piece stood out from the rest of the clock as it was the only area that received constant attention from it's daily winding, the wood around the lock had worn to the same shape as the human fingers that tended it daily as the clunk of the pendulum broke the silence in the room every second.
The room was dark, a single window about 8 feet high drew in what light there was from outside and cast a long ray of sunlight across it which hit the clock at the same time of day, day in day out. As the sun stretched  it's fingers across the room at a sharp angle from the window the dust could be seen clearly leaping and dancing in it's wake like bee's around the sweetest honey ever imagined, an old bookcase stood in the darkened corner to the right of the window, strategically placed to never see the sunlight that had so ravaged the ageing time peace, it carried leather bound books that had not had their spines exercised in 3 score years, again the dust claimed every straight edge as it's own, in some cases moths had eaten away the edges of the leather and left just a row of pages squeezed between it's neighbours rendering it all but useless for purpose. The case itself was made of Oak and as such stood firm if well weathered by the constant bombardment of dust from the array of literature it had played host to all these years. Next to the bookcase a huge fireplace stood just below the tick tocking of the old clock, the source of much of the dust over the years, the ash from the last fire to be lit in it's bowels was but the finest powder that just disintegrated at the merest movement of air in the house so long ago had it been used to fill the room with warmth.
On the mantle piece above the fire sat two framed black and white photographs of a man and a woman, clearly taken in the early 1920's judging by their hairstyles and dress, the woman looking straight at the camera over her left shoulder with a huge bun of hair tied up on her head and vertically striped dress with high lacy collar and small pursed lips highlighted and accentuated by the lipstick she wore, the man was also looking to his left but was in a more relaxed position, leaning against a stool he wore a pin striped suit with tie and waistcoat, the chain from his pocket watch could be clearly seen and his thumb was placed in a relaxed nonchalant manner in his waistcoat on the opposite side to the watch. He had a small moustache and a long drawn face with hair that was oiled back off his forehead and a distinct straight parting could be seen on the left side of his head, the two photo's had a white card surround that was now like the clock showing signs of fading and only added to the vintage look of the photos, the dust had also played it's part by obscuring much of the pictures from view.
Further into the room the settee was still draped with lap blankets and cushions, the old curved over arms belied it's age, looking out of place with the rest of the antiques in the room due to it's sought after shape in the modern world, but it too, like all the other contents was a hive of dust. Woodworm had taken it's toll on the softer wood around the arms and the legs of the settee, it stood precariously on it's legs waiting for the inevitable day it would simply fall to the carpeted floor, the betrayal of it's plight lay around each leg where a sawdust like powder sat in almost a perfect circle around the once carved support, it was but a matter of time before the inevitable. A huge hearth rug lay between the settee and the fireplace, of all the items in the room this had suffered the most, it had been ravaged by dust mites and moths and was scarcely recognisable in it's current form, yet in it's heyday it propelled the scene of the brave huntsmen and hounds traversing a huge ditch in pursuit of it's quarry the fox, the horses were captured mid jump with the huntsman clearly shouting "Tally Ho" in support of it's equine ally, though all that remained of the scene on the rug were the hooves of the horses, part of the greying moody skies and in an almost bitter irony of fate the fearful face of the fleeing fox still seen despite it's tormentors demise from the ravages of time.
From the high ceiling of the room a chandelier hung as testament to the wealth of the previous inhabitants, dirty, uncared for and in danger of joining the disintegrated settee at any moment due to the failing joints and screws keeping it suspended in it's lofty position. Behind the settee where the light had not been for close on 100 years lay an out stretched pin stripe suit and next to it a dress with lacy collar and vertical stripes, the dress still worn by it's owner as was the suit, yet they had long departed the world if not the room, the pocket watch still visible and intact in the waistcoat pocket and the neat bun of hair on the woman grotesquely parted from the skull of it's owner in one piece lay slightly to the side of her head, the two skeletal hands still bearing rings were intertwined as only death and decay could leave them, side by side untouched for 60 years. A single brown singe mark in the chest of both sets of clothes could clearly be seen even after all this time, gaping holes that told a story of the foulest of play this room had born witness to, the decaying twisted remains of hair, teeth and dried brown stained flesh a reminder of a gruesome past that was still being played out.
Just then the long brass handle of the oak door slowly descended, barely a noise was heard as two feet emerged from the other side of the door in the dim light, shuffling in old worn out slippers with barely any sole left on them, a bedraggled but suited man with a tie and waistcoat and long flowing white hair emerged through the doorway and shuffled towards the old fireplace, once there he stood looking at the old clock, after a few seconds he raised his hand to the clock and placed a key into the small door his fingers fitting exactly into the smoothed out grooves around said lock, this was indeed the clocks master. He took another small key from his waistcoat and just as he did a folded piece of paper dropped to the floor and landed on the emaciated hearth rug, the old man bent over and picked it up, his dull fingers struggled to open up the fine paper from it's fold, once opened it revealed a sorrowful note of undying love aimed solely at the reader, a statement of love yet regret that it was a love that could never be fulfilled or recognised in life. The old man stood for a few moments as if reading the letter for the first time, small but distinct tears welled up in the corners of his eyes, one tear dropping just below the signature of the letters author, he fumbled in his waistcoat pocket while the sound of muffled sobs could be heard, the most sorrowful sound imagined, he drew his hand out of his pocket and there he held a small black and white photograph, it was of a woman with her hair in a bun and a small mouth accentuated by her lipstick, this time she was wearing a flowered dress still with high lacy collar, the picture shook in the old mans hand, the sobs became that much more audible and sorrowful, he stood in the same place just below the clock for what seemed like an age, his old craggy shaky hands replaced the letter and the picture from whence they had come and again he reached up to the clock only this time he did not have the key in his hand, instead he reached down into the cabinet disturbing the swing of the pendulum as he did and stopping the clocks movement at that very moment in time, as his hand withdrew from the cabinet the setting sun was low enough to catch a glimpse of a silver revolver, it's mechanism cocked and ready, the old man raised the pistol and fired.
The room fell completely silent.

The great and the good.

Matters arising in this meeting
To whom it may concern
A story to tell ever so fleeting
Something we maybe could learn.

An African tribe is dying of thirst
The Tiger has numbers so few
Not for a minute have we seen the worst
Is there something that we all can do?

I will swear my allegience to the African tribe!
The Tigers will get my support!
A few politicians I know I can bribe
Donations can always be sought

The Whales are hurting we must put it right
And monkeys in deepest Peru?
The Amazon forest will go overnight
Oh! we must stop that happening to.

Let's hold a huge party my friends they will come
We can make it a massive crusade
Our riches and fame we will pool all as one
Together we'll call it Fame-Aid

We can raise all our profiles a wonderful thing
Have pictures of us with our friends
Showing the work our money can bring
The potential for this never ends

But, one moment folks of the jettest of sets
This meeting is far from yet over
None of you seem to be edging your bets
This side of the White Cliffs of Dover

The homeless in boxes on cold winter corners
The youngsters with holes in their shoes
The funeral of parents with children their mourners
Not worthy of such headline news.

No glamour in alleys with discarded needles
No purchase from something so seedy
No man of the moment or man of the people
To rescue the plight of such needy

So one resolution I must put across
To you all with the ear of the press
The needy are hurting with similar loss
Though glamour is short I confess.

Live it.

Break those chains kick those doors
Take back all that should be yours
Stand your ground and don't relent
Say it like they know it's meant

Be as one with who you are
Shine as bright as any star,
Reach into your inner being
Care not what the world is seeing

One more thing before I go
Something we all need to know
Don't hold back and grab each chance
Life's your first and only dance.

One good deed..

The merry-go-round that is business continues apace, the phone is ringing off the hook and customers are their usual impatient selves, (God love 'em) we have just had a lady in who had just spent over £350.00 on her front drivers side brakes with an "approved RAC" garage, nothing wrong with the fitting of the brake components but the top wishbone which connects the suspension to the chassis was in a dreadful state, almost worn out and dropping off, hence the new brakes were binding and getting hot as the whole wheel was moving, I am afraid i had to break the good news to her and said it needs doing at the earliest opportunity.  I always wonder about garages that seek affiliation to a trade body as it suggests to me that the usual word of mouth way of getting work is a closed door to them, not always admittedly but where there is smoke...
As a mechanic of all manners of vehicles, trucks, machinery etc for the last 27 years i thought i had seen most things, but rest assured you never know everything and people can still shock you. last week we had a customer call in with an immaculate BMW 3 series, he was on his way to his holiday caravan in Aberystwyth West Wales, he said his steering was vibrating really badly, this being on a Friday afternoon amid the ensuing chaos we were not that keen to inspect yet another job, but as always my conscience got the better of me and we got him in the workshops somehow. A quick inspection and a readout from the laser temperature gun showed a fault on the drivers side front brake calliper, it was reading 178 degrees so was obviously critically overheating, just a few more miles and it would have been the fire brigade needed, not our services!.
I sent the couple off for a walk around the town and and pointed them in the direction of the best cafe and said we will be a couple of hours.  Much sighing and missing skin from the hands later and the still extremely hot calliper was removed and a new one fitted, for good measure we checked both sides so that the braking on the front would be nice and even.
Our man duly returned with said wife a couple of hours later and after the bill was settled off they set for their caravan holiday in Aberystwyth, albeit later than planned.
That as they say would be that normally, but towards the end of last week an older gentleman that i kind of recognised parked a little hatchback car to the side of the yard and started to walk towards me with a box of Beck's beer in his arms, I walked towards him and said "Hi" still not completely sure who he was, he handed me the box of beer and I said err....thank you, "That's for you and the lads for saving our holiday weekend in Aberystwyth" and as he said that the penny dropped.. "oh my life " i said, "thank you so much, sorry I didn't recognise you without the BMW" "No that's OK he said i have my wife's car so its probably confusing you".
So having shaken his hand i returned to the workshops triumphantly bearing gifts...none of which could obviously be consumed on the premises but its the thought that counts and we have obviously made a new friend !.

Sam's day cont...

Danny slammed the car door shut with a loud clunk and pulled his seat belt around him, fumbling for a few seconds to click it into the holder,
"I hate these damn seats" he muttered, "never can find that seat belt holster!"
Sam just smiled as she kept her head looking forwards out of the windscreen, trying desperately not to look down and give herself more of a complex about how much of her long legs she was actually showing Danny while sat next to him in the car,
"Looks like it may rain today" she tried to make general conversation
"Well I guess if nothing else it will be good for the umbrella shops" Danny retorted, and with that they both glanced at one another across the car and simultaneously burst out laughing,
"Sorry, it's just I have seen you to talk to that often and here we are suddenly in a car together, it caught me a little off guard" Sam said through her muffled giggles.
"I know I know, I suppose it is a bit strange but if i am honest I have been dying to get to know you better for ages, in fact...from the first time I saw you, here you go Dan smiled, have a gum, they are peppermint, I always have them in a morning good for the sinuses!, he retorted trying to make light of what he had just said"
Sam stopped giggling and took the sweet and placed it in her mouth then glanced out of the car window, unsure of how to respond to Danny's last sentence, an uneasy silence immediately returned and the atmosphere grew tense,
"I-I-I'm sorry Sam, Danny stuttered, I shouldn't have said that, I had no ri...." "Don't be silly Danny, it's OK it's just a bit surreal that someone who i have only waved to over the past few years turns out to not only know where i work but also has hidden feelings for me, I am not sure how to quite deal with it, especially as I am in your car at the same time!"
"Oh Sam I am so sorry, I am doing this all wrong, I didn't want to cause you any confusion or hurt I have wanted to introduce myself and say hi since I first laid eyes on you and when i saw you at the bus stop this morning I couldn't help but walk over and ask if you wanted a lift, I thought perhaps I may not get another chance, I am leaving early tomorrow to start a new life in Saudi and I thought if I didn't say something this morning I would always live to regret it and i don't think I could live with that"
Sam looked at Danny and their eyes met for a split second, Sam's heart felt like it would jump out on to her lap at that moment, Danny's deep green eyes were gorgeous, she had never been that close to him to notice before but she suddenly felt her breathing quicken and her face start to glow,
"Oh for Christ's sake Danny, your timing is bloody dreadful !...what am I supposed to say to that?! we wave and smile at each other for 3 years and the day before you set off for a new life on the other side of the world you make a move, I am sorry Danny but it's all a bit too little too late!"
" Sam, no one is more sorry than I am, I have wanted to speak to you but i could never summon up the courage, I thought you would simply laugh or walk away and somehow, not knowing either way was easier to live with".
"Well it's certainly made it a lot harder now hasn't it Danny/" Sam snapped, losing patience at the limp excuse just handed to her.
Danny pulled the car over into a lay by,
"Look Sam, I know it was wrong of me, but I came from a very strict family and we were constantly told we were never good enough as children and..and a little of that sticks with you, no matter how confident you are on the outside," Danny clutched his hand to his chest "it's in here that matters and I couldn't go tomorrow without at least having the opportunity to speak with you, believe me no one is sorrier than I"
Sam looked again into Danny's eye's, the previous glimpse of deep green had now been tainted with red and Danny's eyes were welling up as he spoke, Sam kept eye contact with Danny as they both just sat there looking into each others eyes, outside the slow pitter patter of raindrops could be heard hitting the roof of the car, slowly at first and then quicker and quicker as the storm grew with intensity, Sam knew it was raining but she couldn't hear the noise, she was lost in Danny's eyes and he in hers, they kept eye contact for what seemed minutes but in fact it was probably just a few seconds, Danny leaned closer towards Sam, the creaking leather seats the only noise above the incessant rainstorm that they were both now oblivious to, slowly Danny moved across closer and closer to Sam until their noses were almost touching, Danny stopped for a few seconds, Sam's breathing became shallower and shallower as her heart threatened to explode with
the passion of this moment with virtually a stranger and as much as she told herself it was wrong the louder the voice in her heart said seize this moment, Danny tilted his head to one side and moved towards Sam and at that split second their lips just brushed one another, the softest lightest touch.. then again, Danny looking straight in to Sam's deep blue eyes with a passion that almost frightened Sam but at the same time overwhelmed her, the slightest touch of their lips again only this time a little longer, Sam felt almost dizzy with excitement, her worries of showing too much thigh a distant thought as she leaned towards Danny's seat, they stayed there lips softly touching, then Danny 's hand reached around slowly to the back of Sam's head, cupping her head he drew her closer to him, their lips now pressed closer together they pulled each other in like the dying swirl of a whirlpool that's has nowhere to run but earthbound with the force of gravity, both of them now locked in a passionate kiss that had them both struggling to breath, but neither willing to yield in case the moment was lost, tighter and tighter they pulled one another into their passionate embrace, forgetting the circumstances that brought them both to this place, focused only on the pure instinct that only such a moment can inspire, Danny murmured Sam's name over and over as he kissed and teased her lips and neck while holding her head in his hand, Sam's usual smart hair and make-up quickly disappearing as the raw passion continued, but she didn't care, she was locked in to this moment like it was a script for a play and she had learnt every single full stop, comma and paragraph off by heart, Sam was engulfed by this gorgeous man and all he had to offer her there and then, tomorrow was a long way away, what happened now was the only important thing in her life.
Danny drew slowly away from Sam's lips and they just sat there for a moment looking into each others eyes,
"Oh God," said Sam, "where the hell did that all come from?, for fucks sake Danny why the hell has it taken you 3 bloody years to make a move?" with that they kissed again. yet more passionately if it were possible, Danny's hand sliding down and running alongside Sam's bare thigh and round to her bottom as he pulled her closer, the frustration of all those years finally bursting to the surface as once again they became one with their thoughts and yearnings..
A sudden, familiar, yet unwelcome noise made both of them jump and part almost immediately, both jumped back upright in their seats like naughty school children caught with their hands in the cookie jar, it was a Police siren and the Police car was in the lay by with them, in fact right behind them. The blue flashing lights reflecting on the windscreen which by now was completely steamed up.
A tap at the window confirmed they were the object of the Police vehicles presence, with electric windows all around Danny fumbled for the ignition key in order to slide the window down, the rain was by now torrential and Danny slowly let the window down just a few inches to greet the by now soaking wet Officer at his door.
"Hello sir,
"Err yes ..yes hello Officer, can I help you?" Danny stuttered
" Is this your vehicle sir?"
"Ahhh yes...yes Officer it is, is there a problem?"
"Is your name Daniel Aaron Collins ?" the Police Officer said in a now more sinister tone.
"That's right Officer, that's my name"
"In that case sir would you like to get out of the car for a second?"
"Well really Officer, is that actually necessary in such foul weather?"
"I am afraid so sir, you see I am arresting you for the possible murder of your wife at 3 a.m this morning outside Christies Club in Peckham Road, You do not have to say anything sir but it may harm your defence if.........." the words were a blur to Sam, here she was, sat in a car surrounded by Police with a suspected murderer who she had just a few moments ago been locked with in the most passionate of embraces and all the time all she was actually doing in reality was trying to get to work!.
Just then a tap at Sam's door saw a WPC beckoning her to leave the car and go along with her in the back of their Police unit. Sam was at a loss for words, she could hear voices but couldn't make sense of what was going on around her, she was confused, dazed, startled, the world started spinning faster and faster....

Sam awoke with a start, the rain had stopped and she was home, at least it was like home, she lifted her head to look around and a WPC said softly "are you OK sweetheart?, you fainted on the side of the road and we brought you in so the duty Doc could take a look at you"
D..d.duty Doc..?  am i in prison?
"No sweetie we brought you into this cell as we had nowhere else we could keep you safe from that maniac that kidnapped you in that car this morning, don't worry he is locked up safe and sound and you are free to go, we will need a statement from you but we can do that tomorrow if you like, you have been asleep almost 6 hours, didn't have the heart to wake you"
"six hours!" Sam exclaimed. How the hell could I be asleep for 6 hours, I wasn't even tired!"
"Oh maybe not but those drugs that monster gave you would be enough to put you out for days let alone hours, we pumped your stomach when you came in sweetie, you will be OK now".
"But...drugs?...how? Sam stuttered.
"Oh it's his m.o to give all his victims some peppermint gum to chew just before he assaults them"
With that comment Sam was physically sick, her stomach felt as if it had been hit by a steam roller, she intermingled the vomit with tears and howls that were from her very soul, how could she have been so stupid, how could she have let this man so easily in to her well ordered life?
"Don't beat yourself up hun the WPC comforted her, these type of men are very convincing, they prey on anyone they think may be vulnerable, it's the way they are, it's not your fault".
Sam straightened herself up, sat on the bed in the cell,
"I want to go home, I need a shower",
"I will call a taxi for you right now hun"
The taxi dropped Sam off at the bottom of her cul-de-sac, she walked soaking wet and feeling very sorry for herself towards her flat, she felt used, unclean, she just needed her shower and her own space again, the safety of her flat.
She placed the key in the door and Asterix was there to greet her almost immediately, brushing himself against Sam's leg in anticipation of food, which Sam duly obliged, the flat was eerily quiet, in the far corner of the room the telephone answering machine was flashing that a message had been left, she pressed the message button..
"Hellooo Sam, it's mummy darling, oooh there is some gossip in your street tonight, they have caught that man who killed his wife last night in Peckham road, seems he has confessed to another 12 assaults and another murder, you just never know who is living right under your nose do you sweetheart?, he was trying to fly out of the country today, he had his passport and everything in the boot of his car so it said on the news, but the Police caught him before he could get to the airport, not sure which one he was going to though because he was on the wrong road to get to any airport..."
A chill went down Sam's spine. This was indeed a day she would never forget.

Sam's Day.

Looking at her feet as she walked Sam could only think of one thing, getting home to her flat and out of her soaking wet clothes, if she had known what the day had in store when she left that morning she would have definitely dressed differently. It was 7.00 am when the alarm went off as usual, Sam reached for the snooze button and sank her head face down in the pillow pretending that it hadn't happened but was resigned to the inevitable repeat in five minutes. She had been on her own for 3 years now and was getting a little frustrated with her daily routine and constant reminders by her friends that being single was not her style, though at times like this having someone to cuddle up to would sure as hell make getting up that much easier. Sam beat the second snooze alert, she reached out for the old LED alarm clock she had owned since childhood and turned the alarm off, the pale off white clock had some of its numbers missing and had seen better days but it still kept good time, Sam had a sentimental attachment to it and for her needs it was quite fine thank you.

 She walked to the bathroom with her shoulders slumped and her long mousy brown hair partly covering her face, her pink teddy bear nightie had also seen better days but again it had sentimental value, her dad had bought it for her so many years ago now and it held such precious memories, even more so since his untimely death from cancer of the stomach just 18 months ago. Reaching for the taps Sam cupped both her hands underneath the flowing water and put her head over the sink as she splashed the soul reviving water into her face, she stood there for just a second or two taking in that wonderful feeling of freshness only cold water can manage at such an early hour, it brought her senses alive and she immediately reached for the soft towel and buried her head in that as she had done in the pillow earlier, she put the towel back on the rail and then reached up to the bathroom cupboard for her toothpaste and brush, the routine she always followed, but today was going to be a day that was anything but routine, though as yet she didn't know it.
Downstairs and dressed, make-up on and hair tied back in a pony tail Sam was ready to face the day, she fed Asterix her 5 year old cat before she sat down for her cereal as she did every morning, Asterix was her one true friend and soul mate, they doted on one another, Sam had rescued Asterix as a kitten from a cat sanctuary, he would always be playful and seemed to understand Sam when she was feeling down and knew it was enough just him being there, a friend to be counted on no matter how she felt, that was so important to Sam.
Asterix ate his breakfast then disappeared through the cat flap in the door as Sam grabbed her coat from the hallway and her car keys from the sideboard, her shoes clonked and echoed across the partly tiled, partly wood panelled floor of the flat and as she reached the front door the post slipped on to the mat in front of her, so Sam picked it up and bundled it into her handbag as she raced across the large parking area outside the flats to where her old Vauxhall Corsa was parked. Yet again Sam was a creature of habit with this relic of the motoring world, her father had bought it brand new for her on her 21st birthday and though it was showing its age and cost Sam a fortune to keep maintained, wild horses could not part her from it. She unlocked the door and jumped in putting her handbag and flat keys on the passenger seat as she pushed the key into the ignition and turned it, the car burst into life and then, without warning just stopped again, Sam wasn't unduly worried as this had happened before, so she turned the key again and again, but this time her old faithful was not responding to her gentle coaxing and slowly but surely the engine turned over slower and slower as the life oozed away from the battery... Sam was going nowhere, or at least the little Vauxhall wasn't.
"Oh great" she muttered to herself, just what i needed.
Sam jumped out of the Corsa and locked it up and grabbed her mobile as she made her way out of the car park and on to the streets of the city, it was still quite dark for that time in the morning and the streets were full of delivery vans carrying the newspapers and bread etc, everyone seemed to be totally occupied with their respective jobs, Sam walked around and past the vans and delivery drivers as she made her way down the street to the bus stop just 200 metres away. There was already quite a few people stood waiting for the bus, mostly well suited types and young students, many had their head buried in a newspaper or were busy explaining to the rest of their mates just what a "great night" last night was. Sam stood awkwardly at the side of the bus stop not mingling too closely as she had no wish to become embroiled in the "night before" conversation or have to make small talk with a suit. As she stood there looking down seemingly engrossed in her about turned clenched fist as if looking at her nails a soft deep voice behind her quipped  "has your car broken again?"  Sam spun round at the sound of a familiar voice, it was Daniel from across the street from Sam's flat, he always spoke and waved or smiled at Sam, this morning however his wonderful smile seemed a little jaded and subdued, "I am afraid so," said Sam rather croaky, "are you OK?, you look a little stressed out" Sam said without thinking.. then suddenly realised that she may have no right to even ask, "Oh well, to be fair I am a little down this morning, I have to go and identify my wife, she was killed by a hit and run driver last night" "oh i am so sorry!" Sam blurted out, "I didn't realise you were married even, what a terrible thing!",
"we were separated" Daniel said softly,
"Oh i see, I didn't think i had seen you with anyone said Sam, n-n-not that I am keeping tabs on you or anything, I -I -just see you most days so I would have noticed"
Danny chuckled and Sam saw that warm smile try and make an appearance for the first time that morning,
"That's OK we have been apart for a good 3 years, we kept in touch, but she wanted her freedom and I wanted to settle down, I guess we grew apart and then she ran off with the bouncer from "Christies Club" on the old Peckham road, "Oh I know the one" said Sam still trying to seem interested as she was not the most talkative person first thing in the mornings anyway, even more so when you are talking about your neighbours dead wife.
"where was she hit ?" Sam said still trying not to pry but finding it increasingly difficult to choose the right words,
"Just outside the night club apparently, the car never stopped, it was only a small car but she apparently she didn't stand a chance as it was speeding"
"Oh dear, sounds awful" Sam said softly, "when is this damn bus due!" she said quickly changing the subject and seemingly rather annoyed at how her day was already developing,
"It will be another 10 minutes yet" said Danny, "would you like a lift to work in my car?"
"Oh...would you mind ?" Sam said in an instant "That would be brilliant, I work at...." "you work at Delaneys the accountants, I know" Danny said once more using that wonderful smile to great effect, "But..but how did you know that? Sam exclaimed, "It's easy" said Danny " I own a company that you do the accounts for, my assistant Rachel deals with you, I am Managing director for two other companies so I don't get to see who does my paperwork but i recognised you on the company Xmas card they send over every year",
Sam seemed quite flattered and for once was lost for words that Daniel had actually taken the time to notice her even, let alone talk to her at a bus stop.
"Come on" he said, "I have to go by your place on the way to the morgue, I will drop you off as i pass through".
Sam jumped in Danny's warm car and placed her handbag on her lap, as she reached behind her for the seat belt Danny grabbed her bag and placed it on the back seat of the car as he got in, "save you nursing that all the way to work, it will be OK in the back" he quipped, Sam now felt a little uncomfortable with no bag on her bare knees, her short tight pencil skirt was not designed for sitting in cars next to hunky neighbours, her heels made her legs uncomfortably high in the seat and she was acutely aware of her knees sticking up and way too much of her thighs on view, though she had to admit to herself she felt excited at the same time as a little embarrassed.

.....Part two and the conclusion to be continued ...

Thoughts for today.

Blue sky thinking grey sky mind
Lost dimensions hard to find
Daytime dreams nightmare nights
Silent prayers and noisy fights

Outside box and inside dealing
Pure of thought or simply stealing
Fast lane sprint or slow lane creeping
Lie awake or waste time sleeping

Life see's changes death see's sorrow
Raise you daylight see's tomorrow
Thoughts surrounded mind let wander
Food for thought with time to ponder

All entrenched in thoughts of all
Strong, the weak, the short, the tall.
No escape but death can alter
From such paths should you so falter.

Timewise.

I have a mind to sit a while
let life wash over me
Sip coffee that will bring a smile
A takeaway for tea ?

Some time to watch the daylight end
And night to have its way
The thoughts to which I must attend
All swiftly blown away

For space to think and hear myself
Are seldom in the plan
This elevation into wealth
The curse of every man

So here and now as i embrace
Our world in different ways
The broadest smile upon my face
Is how I'd spend my days.

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A wet Wednesday..

Sitting at my office desk here in Craven Arms I am drawn to just how tired I am feeling just dealing with the day to day issues of a tyre company and service workshop. There is little time to gather your thoughts and appreciate what you have around you, let alone sit and write about it, but here i am leaning back on my carousel chair typing away, just for the hell of it. It's been a very hard week so far, lot's of things going pear-shaped and a few customers with 'b's in their bonnets because of things not doing what they should be doing. The overall consensus from where i am sitting is that people have less time than ever and indeed less money more than ever..which all comes to the surface when you inform them that it will cost over £250 to get their beloved motor repaired.  It's a definite case of devil if you do, devil if you don't.
My answer to most things is to sit back, weigh up the situation and act on it, though this in itself is not the complete answer as customers will throw you a curve you never saw coming just as you start to feel comfortable with your day !.  The things we have to deal with on a day to day basis are as wide ranging as they can be funny, anything from a convertible hood that won't lift to a trolley with 4 flat tyres, it's always varied and never disappointing but extremely tiring.
This week our youngest apprentice Danny passed his driving test, he rang me full of the joys of spring as you can imagine, but then dropped the bombshell that the car he had bought almost 12 months earlier at the age of 16 had been badly damaged the night before in an "accident" with a hedgerow while his Dad was giving him a driving lesson....mmmm a bitter sweet day for young Danny as "the boss" was very unsympathetic to his request for a "loan vehicle" while his is repaired (no harm in asking though i guess!). Of course, being a busy workshop the rumour of Dan and his mishap soon spread and some serious mickey taking has ensued since, it's all about that big learning curve again !
It's about 5pm now and the rain is beating against the office window as outside darkness also descends, these winter nights are very depressing and the lack of some decent sunshine of late is taking it's toll on people and their sense of humour.
 I am not sure about the clocks going back, it seems to me that they would be best left on British Summertime so that the kids can have some daylight when they get out of school, but who am i to say?.  It gets harder day by day to separate the writing which I love with the running of a very busy and now thriving business, the two are very demanding and I find myself being pulled more and more to my artistic values than my garage owner ambitions, it's a tough time for me as my mind is in two places at once and as a result not committed to any one side which is extremely alien for a seasoned businessman.  If I am asked for an honest reply then my heart is with writing which I am thoroughly enjoying at the moment, but i realise i have a duty to the staff i employ and my family as i have to earn a living while i am writing.
So there we have it, if you call in one day as you glide through our Town don't be surprised if you see a tall guy sat on a pile of truck tyres with a pen in one hand and a pad on his lap into which he is pouring his life story...you won't be seeing things I promise !.