Live it.

Break those chains kick those doors
Take back all that should be yours
Stand your ground and don't relent
Say it like they know it's meant

Be as one with who you are
Shine as bright as any star,
Reach into your inner being
Care not what the world is seeing

One more thing before I go
Something we all need to know
Don't hold back and grab each chance
Life's your first and only dance.

One good deed..

The merry-go-round that is business continues apace, the phone is ringing off the hook and customers are their usual impatient selves, (God love 'em) we have just had a lady in who had just spent over £350.00 on her front drivers side brakes with an "approved RAC" garage, nothing wrong with the fitting of the brake components but the top wishbone which connects the suspension to the chassis was in a dreadful state, almost worn out and dropping off, hence the new brakes were binding and getting hot as the whole wheel was moving, I am afraid i had to break the good news to her and said it needs doing at the earliest opportunity.  I always wonder about garages that seek affiliation to a trade body as it suggests to me that the usual word of mouth way of getting work is a closed door to them, not always admittedly but where there is smoke...
As a mechanic of all manners of vehicles, trucks, machinery etc for the last 27 years i thought i had seen most things, but rest assured you never know everything and people can still shock you. last week we had a customer call in with an immaculate BMW 3 series, he was on his way to his holiday caravan in Aberystwyth West Wales, he said his steering was vibrating really badly, this being on a Friday afternoon amid the ensuing chaos we were not that keen to inspect yet another job, but as always my conscience got the better of me and we got him in the workshops somehow. A quick inspection and a readout from the laser temperature gun showed a fault on the drivers side front brake calliper, it was reading 178 degrees so was obviously critically overheating, just a few more miles and it would have been the fire brigade needed, not our services!.
I sent the couple off for a walk around the town and and pointed them in the direction of the best cafe and said we will be a couple of hours.  Much sighing and missing skin from the hands later and the still extremely hot calliper was removed and a new one fitted, for good measure we checked both sides so that the braking on the front would be nice and even.
Our man duly returned with said wife a couple of hours later and after the bill was settled off they set for their caravan holiday in Aberystwyth, albeit later than planned.
That as they say would be that normally, but towards the end of last week an older gentleman that i kind of recognised parked a little hatchback car to the side of the yard and started to walk towards me with a box of Beck's beer in his arms, I walked towards him and said "Hi" still not completely sure who he was, he handed me the box of beer and I said err....thank you, "That's for you and the lads for saving our holiday weekend in Aberystwyth" and as he said that the penny dropped.. "oh my life " i said, "thank you so much, sorry I didn't recognise you without the BMW" "No that's OK he said i have my wife's car so its probably confusing you".
So having shaken his hand i returned to the workshops triumphantly bearing gifts...none of which could obviously be consumed on the premises but its the thought that counts and we have obviously made a new friend !.

Sam's day cont...

Danny slammed the car door shut with a loud clunk and pulled his seat belt around him, fumbling for a few seconds to click it into the holder,
"I hate these damn seats" he muttered, "never can find that seat belt holster!"
Sam just smiled as she kept her head looking forwards out of the windscreen, trying desperately not to look down and give herself more of a complex about how much of her long legs she was actually showing Danny while sat next to him in the car,
"Looks like it may rain today" she tried to make general conversation
"Well I guess if nothing else it will be good for the umbrella shops" Danny retorted, and with that they both glanced at one another across the car and simultaneously burst out laughing,
"Sorry, it's just I have seen you to talk to that often and here we are suddenly in a car together, it caught me a little off guard" Sam said through her muffled giggles.
"I know I know, I suppose it is a bit strange but if i am honest I have been dying to get to know you better for ages, in fact...from the first time I saw you, here you go Dan smiled, have a gum, they are peppermint, I always have them in a morning good for the sinuses!, he retorted trying to make light of what he had just said"
Sam stopped giggling and took the sweet and placed it in her mouth then glanced out of the car window, unsure of how to respond to Danny's last sentence, an uneasy silence immediately returned and the atmosphere grew tense,
"I-I-I'm sorry Sam, Danny stuttered, I shouldn't have said that, I had no ri...." "Don't be silly Danny, it's OK it's just a bit surreal that someone who i have only waved to over the past few years turns out to not only know where i work but also has hidden feelings for me, I am not sure how to quite deal with it, especially as I am in your car at the same time!"
"Oh Sam I am so sorry, I am doing this all wrong, I didn't want to cause you any confusion or hurt I have wanted to introduce myself and say hi since I first laid eyes on you and when i saw you at the bus stop this morning I couldn't help but walk over and ask if you wanted a lift, I thought perhaps I may not get another chance, I am leaving early tomorrow to start a new life in Saudi and I thought if I didn't say something this morning I would always live to regret it and i don't think I could live with that"
Sam looked at Danny and their eyes met for a split second, Sam's heart felt like it would jump out on to her lap at that moment, Danny's deep green eyes were gorgeous, she had never been that close to him to notice before but she suddenly felt her breathing quicken and her face start to glow,
"Oh for Christ's sake Danny, your timing is bloody dreadful !...what am I supposed to say to that?! we wave and smile at each other for 3 years and the day before you set off for a new life on the other side of the world you make a move, I am sorry Danny but it's all a bit too little too late!"
" Sam, no one is more sorry than I am, I have wanted to speak to you but i could never summon up the courage, I thought you would simply laugh or walk away and somehow, not knowing either way was easier to live with".
"Well it's certainly made it a lot harder now hasn't it Danny/" Sam snapped, losing patience at the limp excuse just handed to her.
Danny pulled the car over into a lay by,
"Look Sam, I know it was wrong of me, but I came from a very strict family and we were constantly told we were never good enough as children and..and a little of that sticks with you, no matter how confident you are on the outside," Danny clutched his hand to his chest "it's in here that matters and I couldn't go tomorrow without at least having the opportunity to speak with you, believe me no one is sorrier than I"
Sam looked again into Danny's eye's, the previous glimpse of deep green had now been tainted with red and Danny's eyes were welling up as he spoke, Sam kept eye contact with Danny as they both just sat there looking into each others eyes, outside the slow pitter patter of raindrops could be heard hitting the roof of the car, slowly at first and then quicker and quicker as the storm grew with intensity, Sam knew it was raining but she couldn't hear the noise, she was lost in Danny's eyes and he in hers, they kept eye contact for what seemed minutes but in fact it was probably just a few seconds, Danny leaned closer towards Sam, the creaking leather seats the only noise above the incessant rainstorm that they were both now oblivious to, slowly Danny moved across closer and closer to Sam until their noses were almost touching, Danny stopped for a few seconds, Sam's breathing became shallower and shallower as her heart threatened to explode with
the passion of this moment with virtually a stranger and as much as she told herself it was wrong the louder the voice in her heart said seize this moment, Danny tilted his head to one side and moved towards Sam and at that split second their lips just brushed one another, the softest lightest touch.. then again, Danny looking straight in to Sam's deep blue eyes with a passion that almost frightened Sam but at the same time overwhelmed her, the slightest touch of their lips again only this time a little longer, Sam felt almost dizzy with excitement, her worries of showing too much thigh a distant thought as she leaned towards Danny's seat, they stayed there lips softly touching, then Danny 's hand reached around slowly to the back of Sam's head, cupping her head he drew her closer to him, their lips now pressed closer together they pulled each other in like the dying swirl of a whirlpool that's has nowhere to run but earthbound with the force of gravity, both of them now locked in a passionate kiss that had them both struggling to breath, but neither willing to yield in case the moment was lost, tighter and tighter they pulled one another into their passionate embrace, forgetting the circumstances that brought them both to this place, focused only on the pure instinct that only such a moment can inspire, Danny murmured Sam's name over and over as he kissed and teased her lips and neck while holding her head in his hand, Sam's usual smart hair and make-up quickly disappearing as the raw passion continued, but she didn't care, she was locked in to this moment like it was a script for a play and she had learnt every single full stop, comma and paragraph off by heart, Sam was engulfed by this gorgeous man and all he had to offer her there and then, tomorrow was a long way away, what happened now was the only important thing in her life.
Danny drew slowly away from Sam's lips and they just sat there for a moment looking into each others eyes,
"Oh God," said Sam, "where the hell did that all come from?, for fucks sake Danny why the hell has it taken you 3 bloody years to make a move?" with that they kissed again. yet more passionately if it were possible, Danny's hand sliding down and running alongside Sam's bare thigh and round to her bottom as he pulled her closer, the frustration of all those years finally bursting to the surface as once again they became one with their thoughts and yearnings..
A sudden, familiar, yet unwelcome noise made both of them jump and part almost immediately, both jumped back upright in their seats like naughty school children caught with their hands in the cookie jar, it was a Police siren and the Police car was in the lay by with them, in fact right behind them. The blue flashing lights reflecting on the windscreen which by now was completely steamed up.
A tap at the window confirmed they were the object of the Police vehicles presence, with electric windows all around Danny fumbled for the ignition key in order to slide the window down, the rain was by now torrential and Danny slowly let the window down just a few inches to greet the by now soaking wet Officer at his door.
"Hello sir,
"Err yes ..yes hello Officer, can I help you?" Danny stuttered
" Is this your vehicle sir?"
"Ahhh yes...yes Officer it is, is there a problem?"
"Is your name Daniel Aaron Collins ?" the Police Officer said in a now more sinister tone.
"That's right Officer, that's my name"
"In that case sir would you like to get out of the car for a second?"
"Well really Officer, is that actually necessary in such foul weather?"
"I am afraid so sir, you see I am arresting you for the possible murder of your wife at 3 a.m this morning outside Christies Club in Peckham Road, You do not have to say anything sir but it may harm your defence if.........." the words were a blur to Sam, here she was, sat in a car surrounded by Police with a suspected murderer who she had just a few moments ago been locked with in the most passionate of embraces and all the time all she was actually doing in reality was trying to get to work!.
Just then a tap at Sam's door saw a WPC beckoning her to leave the car and go along with her in the back of their Police unit. Sam was at a loss for words, she could hear voices but couldn't make sense of what was going on around her, she was confused, dazed, startled, the world started spinning faster and faster....

Sam awoke with a start, the rain had stopped and she was home, at least it was like home, she lifted her head to look around and a WPC said softly "are you OK sweetheart?, you fainted on the side of the road and we brought you in so the duty Doc could take a look at you"
D..d.duty Doc..?  am i in prison?
"No sweetie we brought you into this cell as we had nowhere else we could keep you safe from that maniac that kidnapped you in that car this morning, don't worry he is locked up safe and sound and you are free to go, we will need a statement from you but we can do that tomorrow if you like, you have been asleep almost 6 hours, didn't have the heart to wake you"
"six hours!" Sam exclaimed. How the hell could I be asleep for 6 hours, I wasn't even tired!"
"Oh maybe not but those drugs that monster gave you would be enough to put you out for days let alone hours, we pumped your stomach when you came in sweetie, you will be OK now".
"But...drugs?...how? Sam stuttered.
"Oh it's his m.o to give all his victims some peppermint gum to chew just before he assaults them"
With that comment Sam was physically sick, her stomach felt as if it had been hit by a steam roller, she intermingled the vomit with tears and howls that were from her very soul, how could she have been so stupid, how could she have let this man so easily in to her well ordered life?
"Don't beat yourself up hun the WPC comforted her, these type of men are very convincing, they prey on anyone they think may be vulnerable, it's the way they are, it's not your fault".
Sam straightened herself up, sat on the bed in the cell,
"I want to go home, I need a shower",
"I will call a taxi for you right now hun"
The taxi dropped Sam off at the bottom of her cul-de-sac, she walked soaking wet and feeling very sorry for herself towards her flat, she felt used, unclean, she just needed her shower and her own space again, the safety of her flat.
She placed the key in the door and Asterix was there to greet her almost immediately, brushing himself against Sam's leg in anticipation of food, which Sam duly obliged, the flat was eerily quiet, in the far corner of the room the telephone answering machine was flashing that a message had been left, she pressed the message button..
"Hellooo Sam, it's mummy darling, oooh there is some gossip in your street tonight, they have caught that man who killed his wife last night in Peckham road, seems he has confessed to another 12 assaults and another murder, you just never know who is living right under your nose do you sweetheart?, he was trying to fly out of the country today, he had his passport and everything in the boot of his car so it said on the news, but the Police caught him before he could get to the airport, not sure which one he was going to though because he was on the wrong road to get to any airport..."
A chill went down Sam's spine. This was indeed a day she would never forget.

Sam's Day.

Looking at her feet as she walked Sam could only think of one thing, getting home to her flat and out of her soaking wet clothes, if she had known what the day had in store when she left that morning she would have definitely dressed differently. It was 7.00 am when the alarm went off as usual, Sam reached for the snooze button and sank her head face down in the pillow pretending that it hadn't happened but was resigned to the inevitable repeat in five minutes. She had been on her own for 3 years now and was getting a little frustrated with her daily routine and constant reminders by her friends that being single was not her style, though at times like this having someone to cuddle up to would sure as hell make getting up that much easier. Sam beat the second snooze alert, she reached out for the old LED alarm clock she had owned since childhood and turned the alarm off, the pale off white clock had some of its numbers missing and had seen better days but it still kept good time, Sam had a sentimental attachment to it and for her needs it was quite fine thank you.

 She walked to the bathroom with her shoulders slumped and her long mousy brown hair partly covering her face, her pink teddy bear nightie had also seen better days but again it had sentimental value, her dad had bought it for her so many years ago now and it held such precious memories, even more so since his untimely death from cancer of the stomach just 18 months ago. Reaching for the taps Sam cupped both her hands underneath the flowing water and put her head over the sink as she splashed the soul reviving water into her face, she stood there for just a second or two taking in that wonderful feeling of freshness only cold water can manage at such an early hour, it brought her senses alive and she immediately reached for the soft towel and buried her head in that as she had done in the pillow earlier, she put the towel back on the rail and then reached up to the bathroom cupboard for her toothpaste and brush, the routine she always followed, but today was going to be a day that was anything but routine, though as yet she didn't know it.
Downstairs and dressed, make-up on and hair tied back in a pony tail Sam was ready to face the day, she fed Asterix her 5 year old cat before she sat down for her cereal as she did every morning, Asterix was her one true friend and soul mate, they doted on one another, Sam had rescued Asterix as a kitten from a cat sanctuary, he would always be playful and seemed to understand Sam when she was feeling down and knew it was enough just him being there, a friend to be counted on no matter how she felt, that was so important to Sam.
Asterix ate his breakfast then disappeared through the cat flap in the door as Sam grabbed her coat from the hallway and her car keys from the sideboard, her shoes clonked and echoed across the partly tiled, partly wood panelled floor of the flat and as she reached the front door the post slipped on to the mat in front of her, so Sam picked it up and bundled it into her handbag as she raced across the large parking area outside the flats to where her old Vauxhall Corsa was parked. Yet again Sam was a creature of habit with this relic of the motoring world, her father had bought it brand new for her on her 21st birthday and though it was showing its age and cost Sam a fortune to keep maintained, wild horses could not part her from it. She unlocked the door and jumped in putting her handbag and flat keys on the passenger seat as she pushed the key into the ignition and turned it, the car burst into life and then, without warning just stopped again, Sam wasn't unduly worried as this had happened before, so she turned the key again and again, but this time her old faithful was not responding to her gentle coaxing and slowly but surely the engine turned over slower and slower as the life oozed away from the battery... Sam was going nowhere, or at least the little Vauxhall wasn't.
"Oh great" she muttered to herself, just what i needed.
Sam jumped out of the Corsa and locked it up and grabbed her mobile as she made her way out of the car park and on to the streets of the city, it was still quite dark for that time in the morning and the streets were full of delivery vans carrying the newspapers and bread etc, everyone seemed to be totally occupied with their respective jobs, Sam walked around and past the vans and delivery drivers as she made her way down the street to the bus stop just 200 metres away. There was already quite a few people stood waiting for the bus, mostly well suited types and young students, many had their head buried in a newspaper or were busy explaining to the rest of their mates just what a "great night" last night was. Sam stood awkwardly at the side of the bus stop not mingling too closely as she had no wish to become embroiled in the "night before" conversation or have to make small talk with a suit. As she stood there looking down seemingly engrossed in her about turned clenched fist as if looking at her nails a soft deep voice behind her quipped  "has your car broken again?"  Sam spun round at the sound of a familiar voice, it was Daniel from across the street from Sam's flat, he always spoke and waved or smiled at Sam, this morning however his wonderful smile seemed a little jaded and subdued, "I am afraid so," said Sam rather croaky, "are you OK?, you look a little stressed out" Sam said without thinking.. then suddenly realised that she may have no right to even ask, "Oh well, to be fair I am a little down this morning, I have to go and identify my wife, she was killed by a hit and run driver last night" "oh i am so sorry!" Sam blurted out, "I didn't realise you were married even, what a terrible thing!",
"we were separated" Daniel said softly,
"Oh i see, I didn't think i had seen you with anyone said Sam, n-n-not that I am keeping tabs on you or anything, I -I -just see you most days so I would have noticed"
Danny chuckled and Sam saw that warm smile try and make an appearance for the first time that morning,
"That's OK we have been apart for a good 3 years, we kept in touch, but she wanted her freedom and I wanted to settle down, I guess we grew apart and then she ran off with the bouncer from "Christies Club" on the old Peckham road, "Oh I know the one" said Sam still trying to seem interested as she was not the most talkative person first thing in the mornings anyway, even more so when you are talking about your neighbours dead wife.
"where was she hit ?" Sam said still trying not to pry but finding it increasingly difficult to choose the right words,
"Just outside the night club apparently, the car never stopped, it was only a small car but she apparently she didn't stand a chance as it was speeding"
"Oh dear, sounds awful" Sam said softly, "when is this damn bus due!" she said quickly changing the subject and seemingly rather annoyed at how her day was already developing,
"It will be another 10 minutes yet" said Danny, "would you like a lift to work in my car?"
"Oh...would you mind ?" Sam said in an instant "That would be brilliant, I work at...." "you work at Delaneys the accountants, I know" Danny said once more using that wonderful smile to great effect, "But..but how did you know that? Sam exclaimed, "It's easy" said Danny " I own a company that you do the accounts for, my assistant Rachel deals with you, I am Managing director for two other companies so I don't get to see who does my paperwork but i recognised you on the company Xmas card they send over every year",
Sam seemed quite flattered and for once was lost for words that Daniel had actually taken the time to notice her even, let alone talk to her at a bus stop.
"Come on" he said, "I have to go by your place on the way to the morgue, I will drop you off as i pass through".
Sam jumped in Danny's warm car and placed her handbag on her lap, as she reached behind her for the seat belt Danny grabbed her bag and placed it on the back seat of the car as he got in, "save you nursing that all the way to work, it will be OK in the back" he quipped, Sam now felt a little uncomfortable with no bag on her bare knees, her short tight pencil skirt was not designed for sitting in cars next to hunky neighbours, her heels made her legs uncomfortably high in the seat and she was acutely aware of her knees sticking up and way too much of her thighs on view, though she had to admit to herself she felt excited at the same time as a little embarrassed.

.....Part two and the conclusion to be continued ...

Thoughts for today.

Blue sky thinking grey sky mind
Lost dimensions hard to find
Daytime dreams nightmare nights
Silent prayers and noisy fights

Outside box and inside dealing
Pure of thought or simply stealing
Fast lane sprint or slow lane creeping
Lie awake or waste time sleeping

Life see's changes death see's sorrow
Raise you daylight see's tomorrow
Thoughts surrounded mind let wander
Food for thought with time to ponder

All entrenched in thoughts of all
Strong, the weak, the short, the tall.
No escape but death can alter
From such paths should you so falter.

Timewise.

I have a mind to sit a while
let life wash over me
Sip coffee that will bring a smile
A takeaway for tea ?

Some time to watch the daylight end
And night to have its way
The thoughts to which I must attend
All swiftly blown away

For space to think and hear myself
Are seldom in the plan
This elevation into wealth
The curse of every man

So here and now as i embrace
Our world in different ways
The broadest smile upon my face
Is how I'd spend my days.

.









 

A wet Wednesday..

Sitting at my office desk here in Craven Arms I am drawn to just how tired I am feeling just dealing with the day to day issues of a tyre company and service workshop. There is little time to gather your thoughts and appreciate what you have around you, let alone sit and write about it, but here i am leaning back on my carousel chair typing away, just for the hell of it. It's been a very hard week so far, lot's of things going pear-shaped and a few customers with 'b's in their bonnets because of things not doing what they should be doing. The overall consensus from where i am sitting is that people have less time than ever and indeed less money more than ever..which all comes to the surface when you inform them that it will cost over £250 to get their beloved motor repaired.  It's a definite case of devil if you do, devil if you don't.
My answer to most things is to sit back, weigh up the situation and act on it, though this in itself is not the complete answer as customers will throw you a curve you never saw coming just as you start to feel comfortable with your day !.  The things we have to deal with on a day to day basis are as wide ranging as they can be funny, anything from a convertible hood that won't lift to a trolley with 4 flat tyres, it's always varied and never disappointing but extremely tiring.
This week our youngest apprentice Danny passed his driving test, he rang me full of the joys of spring as you can imagine, but then dropped the bombshell that the car he had bought almost 12 months earlier at the age of 16 had been badly damaged the night before in an "accident" with a hedgerow while his Dad was giving him a driving lesson....mmmm a bitter sweet day for young Danny as "the boss" was very unsympathetic to his request for a "loan vehicle" while his is repaired (no harm in asking though i guess!). Of course, being a busy workshop the rumour of Dan and his mishap soon spread and some serious mickey taking has ensued since, it's all about that big learning curve again !
It's about 5pm now and the rain is beating against the office window as outside darkness also descends, these winter nights are very depressing and the lack of some decent sunshine of late is taking it's toll on people and their sense of humour.
 I am not sure about the clocks going back, it seems to me that they would be best left on British Summertime so that the kids can have some daylight when they get out of school, but who am i to say?.  It gets harder day by day to separate the writing which I love with the running of a very busy and now thriving business, the two are very demanding and I find myself being pulled more and more to my artistic values than my garage owner ambitions, it's a tough time for me as my mind is in two places at once and as a result not committed to any one side which is extremely alien for a seasoned businessman.  If I am asked for an honest reply then my heart is with writing which I am thoroughly enjoying at the moment, but i realise i have a duty to the staff i employ and my family as i have to earn a living while i am writing.
So there we have it, if you call in one day as you glide through our Town don't be surprised if you see a tall guy sat on a pile of truck tyres with a pen in one hand and a pad on his lap into which he is pouring his life story...you won't be seeing things I promise !.

"Best foot forward son..."

Jake lay awake that night longer than usual, he left his curtains open so that he could see the huge flakes of snow that were dropping out of the sky bounce off his window and land on the ledge, it built up on the ledge until it's weight became too much then fell in chunks only to do the same repeatedly, the flakes caught the flickering candle light now and then and made it look like it was snowing twice as heavily, it looked so beautiful from where Jake was watching, all tucked up in a warm bed, tomorrow however it would serve as a timely reminder as to the harshness of Mother Nature when her full force is unleashed.
Morning came all too soon and with it the previous day's wonderful sunshine, Jake raced to the window to see how much snow had fallen last night, he tore back the curtains with all the excitement of a young lad about to be let loose in the most fantastic playground of all time, only to stand there open mouthed at the level the snow had reached overnight. It was above the kitchen window below Jakes bedroom and only 4 feet away from his own window, Jakes excitement turned to immediate fear,
"Dad!" he bellowed out,
"Dad!" once again he cried,
"Jake..what's the matter boy?" came the rather terse reply from downstairs,
"Th..th..the snow, it's almost up to my window!" Jake stuttered,
"Ya munna worry about that boy, I've sin it all afore, get thee down 'ere and eat your breakfast"  came Dad's reply, his unfazed attitude immediately putting Jake somehow at ease,
"How will we get out Dad?" said Jake looking rather worried,
"Same bloody way we dost every morning lad, through the back door!"
"But Dad" said Jake somewhat confused, "It's under the snow!"
"Well Jake me boy," said Charlie matter of factly "The way i sees it we can sit on our backsides and do nowt or we can get stuck in and dig our way out, either way those sheep won't feed themselves"
Jake sat down at the table and ate his toast and marmalade with little more said between father and son, the spitting logs of the fire and the slurping of piping hot tea became the background noise to their thoughts as both secretly contemplated the near impossible task that was to face them outside that morning.

It took over an hour for Jake and his father working non stop before they got to the end of the garden gate and a level of snowfall that they could actually see over and around. The sight that beheld him was completely alien to Jake, he recognised nothing of his home from this baron landscape that he surveyed, everywhere he looked the snow swept across fields and tree tops like an imaginary white ocean that went on forever, not a hedgerow was anywhere in sight, not a gate, nothing,  just wave after wave of white powdery snow. Charlie headed for the roof of the barn that could be seen jutting out of the snowy landscape and Jake immediately followed, without a word said they both got stuck in digging their way towards the stack of hay they needed for the days animal feed more importantly now than ever, for somewhere out there both of them knew the sheep would be huddled and their need for food would be critical. At last Jake and Charlie reached the hay and Charlie pulled some of the old pig iron off the side of the barn and bent the front over in a lip, he then tied some twine to the end to make a rein and they both loaded the iron up with hay and to Jakes surprise Charlie threw on an old black pot with a cast handle, immediately the two men set off across the fields to the most likely place the sheep would be huddled, the snow was soft and Charlie and Jake's feet slipped deep into it as they both worked hard pulling the make-shift sled across the fields, it was very tough work and Jake was soon out of breath so cold was the air he was continually gasping for, "come on boy, pull yer finger out" said Charlie "I am trying Dad, it's just i cant get any grip on this snow" said Jake almost apologetically, "well put yer best foot forward son and hop to it" came the reply, no less than Jake would have expected.

Charlie's hunch was about spot on, sure enough the sheep were huddled in a high corner of the field against a huge Oak that had acted like a buffer in the strong wind and snowfall during the night, on one side of the tree the snow was almost up to the lower branches, a good ten feet in the air, but on the side the sheep were huddled, the ground was but a few inches away from the highest level of snow, animals have a knack of knowing where to go when mother nature loses her temper, like an inbuilt survival mode that is inspired by pure instinct. They were more than pleased to see the two farmers and their usual wariness of humans was overwhelmed by a pure animal instinct to survive as they clambered through the remaining drifts in front of them to get to the succulent hay they were presented with. Jake counted the sheep and fortunately they were all here, although tired from all the digging and sled pulling the sight of the animals being fed was indeed a comfort and reminded both men just why they enjoy farming so much.
"With a bit of luck they will stay under this tree while theses damned storms are about" said Charlie,
"At least they had the sense to stay put on higher ground, let's just hope they don't try and move away from here" Charlie mumbled, though secretly he knew sheep had an awful habit of being unbelievably stupid.
As the sheep ate the hay like their lives depended on it, which it did, Charlie set about lighting a small fire and putting the old black pot on top of the ashes, he and Jake then filled it with snow so that the sheep had something to drink from, amazingly sheep would get dehydrated quickly without fresh water to drink despite the snow being everywhere, they filled the pot and sat it in the field and watched as tentatively one after another they lapped at the steaming pot, Jake topping it up with snow as they drank. "We had best leave them to it," Charlie said, "we can't get them to the barn even if we did want them inside, you cant round them up in 6ft of snow" and with that the two set off  for the farm buildings with makeshift sled in tow as the cattle needed hay in the big barn.
The cows were inside already as it was winter and Jake positively enjoyed feeding them in the relative warmth of the barn, the steam off the cattle rose into the rafters of the old wooden beamed roof, the cattle were always in a playful mood when there was snow outside, it seemed like they knew just how well off they were in the warm building with soft straw to lie down on and enjoyed celebrating that fact by kicking their legs in the air and bunting and pushing each other around, they always made Jake laugh as they seemed to have a character of their own, unlike the sheep who Jake thought were just plain stupid.

Dinner time came and Jake followed his dad into the kitchen. The warm air hit Jake like a cannon ball as he walked through the kitchen door, his cheeks went the colour of a tomato in it's prime as the big fire raged with the ever present black kettle hissing away on it's hanger pitched above the flames, Jake hated that damned kettle, it looked and sounded like it would explode more than ever today so he slid along the bench at the table until he was as far away from it as he could get, just to be on the safe side. Bread and cheese was the order of the day, with some pickled onions and beetroot, all produce from that years garden that was indeed, now very welcome. The large loaf had a huge orange brown crust on it that crumbled away as it was sliced, Jake loved the taste of the crust, he loved the way it crumbled as he bit into it and that oven cooked taste that only fresh bread can give you, Jake ate until his belly ached, it was a good ache though.
 Little was said for the duration of that dinner, but secretly the household was hoping against hope that the snow from last night was the last for a while, but like the day before it was a gorgeous sunny afternoon and yet again clouds could be seen in the distance, that was indeed an ominous sign and it made Jake a little frightened for what he would find the following morning, if Charlie was being honest with himself he too was a little worried that a weather pattern was starting to form...

Tribute to one of our own RIP John Searle Age 59.

Gone but not forgotten..John Searle age 59 killed while riding his beloved bike to school during Oct 2012. A more gentle caring person you would struggle to meet, a true gentleman in every sense of the word... this scarcely does him justice, but I needed to write something. To John.  


This morning you were late,
We knew something was wrong.
You are never late,
Your smiling face and warmest smile
They were never late.
The watches set as you rode by
They were never late.
You won our hearts yet scarcely knew,
We told you far too late.
We should have said just what we thought
Surely it can't be too late?

That morning part of us died too,
It will never be too late.
To say just what we thought of you.
We thought that you were great.
We will miss that cheery wave,
That smile that warmed the coldest day
Those apples that you gave away,
The children you just made their day
So many things we wish to say
But now the silence deafens too,
Shropshire owes a debt to you.
We do.
We will miss you John.
We do.

A problem thought about.

There are times, times in all our lives when we reach the very dark shadows that make up the less enjoyable side of life, mark my words you will get to that point on more than one occasion. For some, it is enough to send them into a spiral of depression and anxiety with the added feeling of little self worth stabbing you in the back on your way down, for others it is but a challenge that presents itself and must be taken on at face value with all the gusto of a soldier on the battlefield.  Whichever way you react, if you continue to suffer it will begin to wear you down, like a drill that hasn't the singular power to sink a battleship but left for a few weeks to make enough holes can be as paralyzing as the mightiest torpedo.
How we handle the tough times we get in a lifetime determine who we are and what we do with what we are presented with. Someone who would throw the towel in the moment a black cloud appears would clearly be a risk in management, as tough decisions have to be made sometimes and shying away from them is a crime in itself, on the other hand if that same manager has no idea of the depth of trouble or problem he faces then he can be a loose cannon and almost as big a liability as the person who immediately quits.
I myself always look at problems as a challenge with a twinge of mindful sadness that something has yet again cropped up in my life that needs my full undivided attention, sometimes it's an immediate fix and sometimes only a measured response over a longer period will do the trick, the only sure thing i have learned during my time on this earth is that worry will cloud your judgement and sap energy that you can put to better use elsewhere, so you are better off dealing with the issue head on, attack is the best form of defence.
That said, when you are in the middle of a firefight it's difficult to focus on anything other than the issue you have been presented with. Problems tend to have a habit of consuming your every working and playing thought and sometimes even your sleeping thoughts. If it affects your sleep then you are far more likely to be worn down quicker than if you can take it to the bedroom door and then forget about it, the last thing you need when faced with issues is less sleep. In my own case I have usually been able to sleep quite well when under pressure, more to do with the fact that i have been there so many times before and am now quite used to it, than anything wise or special about me. I tend to categorise issues into seriousness, if the problem can be solved the next day then there is no point in worrying about it overnight, if its something that will take a few days to put right then I will put it to the back of my mind, not forget it, perhaps even mull it over on the odd occasion, but on the whole I will monitor the situation and give a measured response.
The third grade of problem is the nagging one that won't go away, you can't easily fix and these, by their very nature are the one's that will lead you down a long dark path along which there may be very little light and precious few exits. These are the one's that test you.
 I view these problems in several ways, firstly, you are more than likely NOT the only one to have ever been in that position and secondly no matter how bad the situation there is ALWAYS someone worse off than you in life at that very moment and thirdly there is nothing more IMPORTANT to you than simply breathing...yes, I said, simply breathing, think about it for a second or two. If you now look at all the words in capitol letters on the page they spell out a sentence which I use to help me through the tougher times.  You will meet bullies, idiots, nasty people, clueless people, heartless people, all sorts with their own insecurities and issues, but you must focus on you, you are the most important thing in your life and never forget it.
If I was to offer one other piece of advice about the pitfalls of depression it would be that when you feel there is nothing but dark clouds ahead, take sollas out of the smallest piece of good news and magnify it as many times as you like, keep that positive thought with you for when the pressure is at it's worst for you, keep that one single thought and use it as your pressure release valve..bring it to the front of your thoughts and concentrate on it when the pressure is at it's worst, you will be amazed at the calming effect it has..
As you can tell, i am no Dr and even less a teacher, I am simply penning my thoughts about an issue that has been in my life's playground many times. If I have helped you get through your next major issue by only the smallest amount then it's been worth putting keyboard to screen, if it's been no use at all well, I thank you for taking the time out to at least read the article, as you know from the above, I will have no problem with handling that problem at all !.