The start of another week, Monday is always faced with trepidation, but on the whole I guess it's reputation is far worse than the reality.  I am facing a step into the unknown in 2 weeks by sloping off to Scotland for a week on an Arvon course, it consists of a cottage in the middle of nowhere with 3 published authors who will guide you through your literal ambitions.
I am looking forward to the challenge it brings and even more so the opportunity to step from life's treadmill if only for a brief period. There is also the real fear that I may find out that writing is something of a small hobby rather than something I am committed to, the question mark is there, though my sheer enjoyment from putting pen to paper is blissful.
I hail from a background where praise was something you gave other people, never something you received. I am and never will be good enough in my own eyes and that is inbuilt regardless of ability or lack of it. To people who have the confidence of knowing their abilities and accepting them my comments must seem very immature or at the very least ridiculous but the truth is it's a habit and as we all know habits are hard to break.
Once back from my course I hope to be able to edit and finalise my first attempt at a novel called 'a sense of duty' which is a story that has semi-biographical parts and the rest artistic licence, so i hope i can do it justice. As for my poetry, well i love writing it and it needs only one nice comment to make my day so i will continue with it and hope that you the audience like at least some of the work.

Enjoy your Monday and remember not to take life too seriously, after all none of us get out alive ;)

Dare?.

So what am i to write today upon this canvas bare?

That I am fine, OK with life?,  as if you really care,

String sentences profound as such, that tell you all is well.

Whilst heart is shouting dare it might, in truth I am in hell.


Be still my demons for a while,  bring forward silence hence,

They prey upon my very soul dispel such innocence.

I stumble through this sorry life as if caught in a spell,

Revolving faster evermore no exit can't you tell? .


No sanctions thus am I dispensed, no respite so allowed,

And stand I broken many times before the baying crowd.

But deep inside the angst of life that haunts my waking hours,

A flicker of what I could be, a glimpse of different powers.


Though life it tells a sorry tale such glimpses glow then fade,

For paths that I must follow hence have clearly so been made.

I would complain and rightly so, a noise to wake the dead,

But fear i walk amongst them now so live with them instead.


So dreams that wane upon the dusk eternal in their truth

Will haunt this life through chances missed as i lived out my youth

Life takes the forms of challenge thus to push me to my limit

If I'd been born with all those facts... would heart dare to begin it? .

The Angry Crowd.

Peck, peck, peck,
Judges all
A chorus of tuts
The stoniest of wall.

I told you so's
A squadron of guilt
Shaking of heads
Scorn to the hilt

Inside I hear nothing.
Just faces around
Fingers all pointing
Without any sound

For I am away
To hill's in the mist
To tallest of grasses
That dew slowly kissed

Warm summer's sun
The scent of the Earth
My world complete
Regardless of worth

So look on with anger
Crush me at will
Massage your conscience
.....I am here still.

Layla Grace

This was written in March 2010 about a little girl's plight against Cancer that was followed by thousands on Twitter, sadly Layla Grace lost her battle and I hope she has the eternal peace she so deserves, I hope the family don't mind me placing this poem on here to remember her by as she touched the hearts of thousands of people in her short life including my own. RIP sweetheart gone but never ever forgotten.

A loving heart a pretty face
The beauty that is Layla Grace

Sent from heaven there's no doubt
To teach what love should be about

No selfish thoughts no heartless whine
Just hugs and smiles in truth divine

In illness as in any task,
No more could any person ask

Of such a young endearing child
So warm, so pure, so meek and mild

How can we understand a God
That rules with such an iron rod?

Why take such beauty earthly bound
When so much ugliness is found?

In corners of this very world
So much hate has been unfurled.

But walk with me and talk awhile
I know that I can make you smile

By telling of a little mite
That gave the most tremendous fight

Against disease that dwarfed her so
But yet she coped as we all know

Layla Grace your life's cut short
but let me tell you so,

I've learned so much from one so young,
there's something you must know

If I should live my 3 score years
and ten as it is told

My memories of one so brave
forever I will hold

So smile a smile and think a thought
of Little Layla Grace

And very soon that warmest smile
.. will light the darkest place.

Tale Of New Year.

The table sits in darkened room,
Its fare all spent its contents strewn,
All use now ended, empty shell
A place where only thoughts now dwell.

For this is last years empty table
Feasted on by all those able,
Some who sat and joined the fest
Have left our mortal life to rest.

Friends anew have stepped on board
As life continues rest assured,
For in the light of room next door
The circle starts again once more.

A brand new table full to flowing
What it holds not ours for knowing,
Be sure this though safe from fear
To take your place for this New Year.

Amongst the newly laid out feast
When hope and faith are all increased,  

Savour what this new year bring's

As midnight bells chime 12 strong rings.

To listen is to see.

To listen is to see
Silence takes no sides
To think is to be free
Though fate alone decides

Faith is truth in mind
Heart's not always followed
Cruel is never kind
No matter how it's swallowed.

Man can fix and break
Armies march on speeches
Paths for us to take
Experience it teaches

Listen to the silence
And question not it's being
Repent your acts of violence
For listening is seeing.... 

Fame and A Price.

A million lines that write my lifetime
I don't have a say
Ridiculous and yet just sublime
Make them go away.

I wished for all that money bought
Hell is now my home
It wasn't quite what I had thought
"Oh please leave me alone!"

The flashing lights a camera click
The shouts of "look and smile!"
From people who just make me sick
And chase my every mile.

No God can save my mortal soul
I have nowhere to hide
For fame is just the blackest hole
That eats you from inside.

"Be careful what you wish for now"
Are words that echo so,
"I have what I want... oh and how"
...tho yearn to let it go.

A crying heart sheds tears unseen,
A smile can lie to all,
But face won't lie where you have been
Such fame won't suit you all.

Be brave and stop this gravy train
The likes from which you're fed

For scores who courted wealth and fame
Soon count amongst the dead.









 

I Am The Light.

You have no words, I know that.
Your love is all i asked and it was mine.
Tears for today I understand,
But comfort many guises wears.

Recognise me in your heart,
I will always know your thoughts
As you will always be in mine,
Time will not diminish that.

In life and death so shadows form
Always darkest when silence falls.
That is when I will comfort you,
Reassure you, be at your side.

Time will heal the cut but not the scar.
The hollowness of loss a cross to bear,
But remember this for I tell you that it's so,
I am safe in your heart and you in mine.

Nine One One.

A cold wind blows in downtown Manhattan,
A blue sky dawn has risen and past
But this day is different, it started but won't end
It will stay in minds and souls forever.

A million tears will fall, some wiped, some not,
A wave of sorrow casts a shadow high
Beneath the dust of hell on earth
Yet in this darkest hour a light is seen.

Stare into this light, be still and listen well,
For in such chaos and such terror
This light will bring you home.
Home unto the hearts that yearn your presence.

For land and sea may alter,
Paths may cross or even disappear,
Lives may lose the final battle bravely fought.
But the light stays eternal. Believe in the light.

Superman?

A mountain can be scaled
The sea there to be sailed
A tree climbed just for fun
No race that can't be won

Wars be over in a week
Or peace just what the soldiers seek
Smiles can be a welcome break
Or tears to say your heart will break

The sky is ours we conquered that
And outer space is just old hat
A trip to Mars is soon assured
No chance of ever getting bored

But take away the gift of love
And wave goodbye to all above
For man cant live by feats alone
He needs a girl to call his own.

So think of all the things you do
And just what love could mean to you
For as a race we're down and out
If love is something we're without.